What does the smell of your poop come closest to?

// 56 Comments
l 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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0
meaty, beefy
13% (103 votes)
floral, rosy, fruity
9% (68 votes)
something that died last week
13% (101 votes)
pungent, sharp
20% (157 votes)
rotten, foul
23% (179 votes)
toxic waste
10% (81 votes)
Other, please describe.
11% (88 votes)
Total votes: 777

56 Comments on "What does the smell of your poop come closest to?"

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Mr. Craptastic would also appreciate it if you would describe the magnitude of the odor: none/negligible, a little bit, about the same as others I have smelled in public johns, pretty damn strong, or bio terrorism attack in the home.
_______
i love poop.

i love poop.

Poopsy McGee's picture
l 100+ points
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I'm gonna have to go with pungent/ sharp. Something has been seriously wrong in my intestines since that awful episode when I shit the bed three weeks ago.

I went today and it stank so bad. Thank christmas nobody's home but me during the day. The smell would surely turn them all to ash where they stood like the residents of Pompeii after Vesuvius.

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points
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It smells... like shit. Sorry, but it does. As it happens, I think my shit smells delightful sometimes. Other times it smells poisonous. Depends on what I've been eating.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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It smells like I took a family of dead skunks and let them ferment in the hot sun while they were coated in fish guts for a few weeks.Then dumped the whole mess in the toilet set it on fire with old hamburger grease and dumped a big pile of dog shit covered hair in it.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Mrs MC.......Except for the burning dog shit covered with hair it sounds like you produce an exciting aroma. I actually enjoy the smell of skunk, if it is off in the distance, and have eaten a Japanese fermented fish gut product called "shiokara". The Koreans make a similar product from spiced fermented octopus that is absolutely wonderful.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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I chose meaty and beefy, but only because I'm a carnivore. I've never wanted to get close enough to it to really get a whiff of it.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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well Chief I'm glad I'm not the only one that likes the smell of skunk.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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I'm guessing the smell is pretty close to a stopped up shitter on a tuna boat after burrito night.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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My shit smells like Starburst.

Just for Daphne.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
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Is it square and individually wrapped?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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of course...isn't yours?

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Ca Ca Doodle Doo's picture
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Horse manure. :(

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Mine aren't folded neatly. They're sort of gathered at the end and twisted.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Kinda like a twist of Red Ox chewing tobacco?
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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Twizzlers?

prarie doggin's picture
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More like if you try to wrap a wine bottle, and have to do something with all that extra paper around the neck.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I was thinkin Hershey's Kisses
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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Or a nice big Baby Ruth.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Usually not very smelly at all because all under the water except for the moment of ejection. The smell I do produce is just typical recognizable poop. Occasionally smellier if my system is in a roil about something.

Thunderbox's picture
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I`ve been eating a lot of mezze, smoked venison, carpaccio and kimchi the last week, and quite frankly my turds, although beautiful to look at, are a fucking bio-hazard.

The voice of sanity

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Scummy dearest, can you elucidate further on delightful smelling shit. The very concept boggles my functiuonally limited mind. Or something...

phatmanxxl's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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My shit bombs smell like, well...shit.

spattacus's picture
l 100+ points
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Only occasionally do I disgust myself, most times I reckon it's not too bad. My significant other would beg to differ though.

Nine Inch Log's picture
k 500+ points
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TOOTsie rolls!
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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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T-box says;

"I`ve been eating a lot of mezze, smoked venison, carpaccio and kimchi the last week, and quite frankly my turds, although beautiful to look at, are a fucking bio-hazard."

Is mezze like a Middle Eastern version of Chinese dim sum? I can evacuate a large room with a pork dumpling and kimchi fart.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Thunderbox's picture
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It`s a whole range of small dishes like hommous, baba ganoush, tabbouleh, Imam Bayeldi etc served at once - you might have 10 different dishes as a starter between a few people. I usually make a batch of four or five types at once that will last a few days in the fridge. They taste better as the days go on, producing more and more evil stinking farts and turds.

The voice of sanity

Frank2401's picture
l 100+ points
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Sometimes it smells like bread,
but not in a wholesome/goodness way.

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points
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AC, of course I can.

Healthy shit is not an unpleasant smell. It smells of shit, certainly, and one would not wish to use it as perfume, but it doesn't smell nasty. Shit that's full of rotten meat, etc, that's unpleasant, but a good healthy shit can smell quite nice in the same way that horse or cow manure can smell quite nice. Comforting, almost. When I lay a cable that's got lots of oats and roughage in it, it's usually pretty good-smelling. If I've eaten lots of meat or junk food though, it smells appalling. Hope that helps.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Scummy......I love whole smoked onions cooked over charcoal. Rub large sweet onions with olive oil and cook with indirect heat, not directly over the coals,until they are a beautiful mahogany color. They are good when they are cooled, thick sliced, and placed on crusty whole grain bread with any other vegetables you choose to use in a sandwich. The farts and turds that result are aromatic and pleasing.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points
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That sounds delicious. I like to wrap 'em with smoked bacon, skewered and secured with a rosemary sprig, and roast them. There's something about large quantities of onions that make turds and farts smell powerful but pleasant. I'm not sure why this is. I think research needs to be done.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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If there is research to be done please say it will not involve photographic evidence. I don't think I can handle it.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

prarie doggin's picture
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Au contraire madam, it will be in smellavision.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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Ah yes, the onion shit. Soft, easily passed, but not liquid. Comes with a lot of gas to help propel it out of the poop chute. And like ES said, a sweet aroma.

Can't beat it. Maybe the Food Network can do a special on why it's so appealing.

Comrade Poopov's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Mine usually smell like old produce mixed with that typical shit smell. I'm a big carnivore so I don't know why my ass produces rotten broccoli smells.

Has anyone ever eaten too much sugar-free ice cream or candy? I've never smelled anything like it. It's the foulest stench I've ever created. The farts alone will peel paper from the walls.

_______
Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...

Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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0

Well, I just took a shit that actually smelled like shit. I actually had to spray some Febreze afterwords. Not only that, I had to wipe a million times, and after flushing it left some gnarly skid marks in the bowl.

This one had all the worst things you could have in a shit.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Onions bring out the sulfur in your gas because most onions are grown in high sulfur soil. Onions tend to be sulfur magnets and will suck the sulfur out of the soil.

The high sulfur content of the onion is why the onion is hot/bitter and burns your eyes. When you bust up the membranes of the onion, which contain the sulfur, the mixture of sulfur, air, moisture and warmth all combine to make low-grade sulfuric acid.

On the other hand, sweet onions, like Vidalias and Texas 1015's, are grown in low sulfur soil. That's why they don't burn your eyes quite as much when you cut them.

Onions are actually very high in sugar. That's why the process of cooking onions for a long time is called "caramelization". You are literally caramelizing the sugars in the onion. Unfortunately, first you have to cook away most of the moisture in the onion before you can get to the sugars.

And them sugars is why onions are Good Eats. (I've got to fix that damned TV so that I can watch something other than the Food Channel.)
_______
My special needs student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

prarie doggin's picture
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I was gonna say Deja, sounds like you fell asleep with the Food Network channel on.

Postman, I think Rachel Ray has a special coming up on why her shit smells like a "gabbage bowl".

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Sulfur eh......So hell will smell like a big onion fart?


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

phatmanxxl's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Yall should try those green guacamoli chips they sell at Wal-mart. Those produce the most appalling, and most foul SBD farts known to man that seem to linger in the room for hours. I was afraid to leave the house after a bag of that stuff.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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My talented digestive system can turn pure spring water into unequaled stench.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Bilge, that's quite a neat trick. How do you get the corner folds so clean?

It's too bad your ass isn't bigger; I always have trouble with our king-sized bed sheets.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

prarie doggin's picture
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Chief, I shudder to think what you could do with some of our Jersey water.

Crapola's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points
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My poop smells kind of like whatever I last ate. Don't ask about the liverwurst sandwich poop :)


_______
Piece Out!
Crapola

Piece Out!
Crapola

Jack Schitt's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points
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I picked floral because everyone likes their own brand, on top of that Mrs. Schitt was born without the sense of smell, so it smells just like roses (literally) to her to.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
0
0

Like a rank corn dog coated in yellow mustard.

Pickey Pooer's picture
0
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I am rockin a sour milk scented poo. This week. Last week it was like bologna.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Pickey Pooer.........Your ass is a veritable delicatessen of flavors but perhaps you need to check the 'sell by date' on its dairy products.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Won't even try to answer this question. The odor of shit is one of those singular things that is incomparable to anything else. Rather, you compare other things to it. It's the gold standard of barely-tolerable repugnance.

Logjam

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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as far as the smell of shit goes, it's better to ask the person who enters the bathroom after you. They would have the more honest opinion.

Russell's picture
l 100+ points
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All craps are not created equal

Russell the shitting queen