When showering, how do you wash your anus?

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266 Comments on "When showering, how do you wash your anus?"

Postman's picture
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Of course it's the last part I wash. I would hate to wash my face after having a wash cloth on my asshole.

prarie doggin's picture
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I do what most men do but won't admit. I soap up the wife's loofa and go to town back there.

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points
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I reach past Saturn.

prarie doggin's picture
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Urectum?

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
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I have a special washcloth for this purpose. It ONLY goes where NOONE else will go or has gone before. I never want someone to say that I smell like unwashed ass so I make damn sure its squeaky clean. #550
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

prarie doggin's picture
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Nothing like a few short hairs on a washcloth to keep others away.

The Shit Volcano's picture
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PD, you never cease to crack me up!

Anyway, weighing in on this subject, I haven't really thought about this until it was brought up here. I guess it gets washed when I soap my buttcheeks. Otherwise I don't really do anything special. Wiping takes care of it. Either way, Gilbert never complains.

_______
Beware the shitticane. Election, 2008.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Bilgepump's picture
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I voted other...don't ask me to explain, just thinking about the process makes me bleed.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

wonderpance's picture
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i pretty much just swipe my soapy index finger through my butt crack. kinda like a credit card.
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i love poop.

i love poop.

Bilgepump's picture
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Strange, but I find that incredibly arousing, Ms Pance. Sorry....been a tough couple years.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Logjam's picture
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How come it's been 2 years without a swipe, Bilge? They finally took away your credit cards?

Logjam

wonderpance's picture
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well, credit cards are very sexy.
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i love poop.

i love poop.

prarie doggin's picture
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I tried a credit card on a strippers ass crack one time when I was a bit short on cash.

Logjam's picture
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"credit cards are very sexy."

The stereotype has always been, wp, that women loved men FOR their money. Has it gotten now to the point where women want to skip the man altogether and just have sex WITH their money?

Logjam

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Think abut how you scrape the sides of an empty pudding cup with your finger, except this time the pudding cup is your asshole, and the pudding is crap.

prarie doggin's picture
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Mmmmm....Chocolate or butterscotch?

wonderpance's picture
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logjam, i'm not the right girl to ask! i don't find credit cards sexy. i was just trying to make Bidge feel better.


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i love poop.

i love poop.

Logjam's picture
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Gees, forgive me for being such an idiot, wonderpance. That's so obvious now that you point it out. (And I'm sure Bidge is feeling much better, by the way. Specially now.)

Logjam

Bunga Din's picture
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Not that I'm a fecalphobe or anything but I wash my anus a bit different from a few listed here. What I've found works best for me is I have this old Koho hockey stick, really worn, thin blade (some call these a toothpick), anyways, on one side of the blade I've got a heavy sponge glued to it on the other I've got a washcloth. towards the top of the shaft on the stick I've attached a squeeze bottle of shower gel (Paul Sebastian chill brand) and I have affixed a "y" junction tube to take the shower gel from the squeeze bottle down to the exit points I've craftily formed by the sponge and washcloth.

I hold the stick aloft like one might if you were going to take it to clobber someone but I move the blade gently and caressingly over my defiled dumper to make it beautifully cleansed and smelling oh so fresh. This hole process also ensures that at no time do my hands get remotely near my stinky winker but it also firms up my wrists for pickup hockey on the weekends.

Logjam's picture
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"I hold the stick aloft like one might if you were going to take it to clobber someone..."

Bunga -- Sounds like High-Sticking to me, earning you time in your penalty box.

Logjam

prarie doggin's picture
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It probably works well on dislodging those nasty little pucks clinging to the edges.

RoboCrap13's picture
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Bilgepump: I voted other...don't ask me to explain, just thinking about the process makes me bleed.

Does 'Poopsie the wipe-cat' need to have his claws clipped again??

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

pnuttycorn's picture
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_______
Chocolate Rain!!!!
I saop up the hand real good, and wash the crack, and then the starfish.
I had a friend ask me once if I washed the inside of me anus, meaning take a soapy finger and give a little ream, not the whole finger, just the flange, and I had never heard of such a thing. Nope.
But I don't forget the taint.

phatmanxxl's picture
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In the shower I take a wet towel, stick it between my legs, grab each end and run it back and fouth like a flossing action. Then I ring it out in the tub. Its quite a chore.

MSG's picture
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After a b.m., I wipe quite thoroughly, including a dab of Noxzema or the like on the last set of toilet paper to get everything off that I possibly can. I prefer those days when my bowels move first, and the shower is afterward. When showering, I start with my hair, using shampoo; when the shampoo is well lathered, I take a handful, slather it all the way up and down my crack, and leave it. A minute or so further into the shower, I turn around, part cheeks, and let the water stream slosh down the crack and take out the shampoo, which is slightly acid and should have pre-cleaned my anus. Then, when all else is washed, I take the soapy washcloth and perform Choice 1. Sometimes I do slip a soapy finger partway up the anal canal; it feels good. Then, unless I have another movement afterward during the day, I feel clean the whole day.

prarie doggin's picture
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Pnutty, "washed the inside of me anus". Are you from Dublin?

Anotalus Cowturd's picture
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Use your right hand to dribble soap in crack.
Use left hand to vigourously lubricate.
Allow a little water to lather.

Use your fingers to clean the immediate entrance/exit.

Then when you feel it clean ... Wash your hands with dettol / savlon / etc ...

DO NOT SHAVE NEAR OR AROUND the Anal/Butt crack region....
The Anal hairs allow for a constant buildup of gases to escape gradually.
Cuts near the region can haemorrage so dont risk it.

One last piece of crap .... Do it regularly.

Analysed and Published

pnuttycorn's picture
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PD,nope, My typing and proofreading sucks.
But it does read kinda cool.

Logman's picture
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Well I tend to keep it as clean as possible, but when I shower, I usually wash everything else first, then wash it bare-handed, it's nice and clean and I don't have to worry about using my loofah on my face after it's been there (I use body wash instead of soap, and the loofah works better with body wash than a washcloth).

Bilgepump's picture
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Pumice stone on a stick, baby...the only way to go.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

daphne's picture
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Um, that's my apricot facial scrub bar, Bilge.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Bilgepump's picture
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OOOPSSS!!!

can I get my pencil out of there?

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Logjam's picture
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First thing that gets attention in the shower is my dick. The last thing is my asshole. If I let it have its way, my dick would be the only thing lathered up and "scrubbed" during a shower, (and that has happened a time or two.) But my poor asshole makes no demands and waits patiently for whatever it can get -- whatever's left, basically. It takes all the shit I can give it and just keeps asking for more. What a friend.

Logjam

prarie doggin's picture
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And like a true friend, he is always there when you need him.

Logjam's picture
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Yeah, just like you, Bidge, and Bunga. Life just wouldn't be as sweet without assholes.

Logjam

Bunga Din's picture
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I'm all teary, thanks Logjam, I think I'll go and spend the rest of my evening watching the past weeks "THE VIEW" that I recorded on my DVR or maybe I'll just browse Oprah's bookclub picks.

Bilgepump's picture
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I have this sudden urge to just run up to Starr Jones and give her a big hug.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
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Bilge, I'll go with you. If we hold hands we might make it all the way around.

Bilgepump's picture
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Nah, PD...its gonna take all 5 of us, Dodger, LJ, Bunga, you and I...but what a bonding opportunity!!! I'm getting a little stiffy just thinking about it.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
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Who is going to take the rear position?

Bilgepump's picture
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I will, I'll take one for the team...you guys have done so much more than I have, the least I can do.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
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Very brave of you. Any idea what she had for breakfast?

baron von crapalot's picture
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__Get the temp. right, bend over, pulling apart the butt cheeks, and let the shower do the rest (and it tickles!)

_____
i just cant work this one out????

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

picklepicker's picture
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I go back to the outdoor toilet and you haven't lived until you go out to the toilet when the temp is =25 degrees. In high school
we used to sing: Sitting here broken harted,
Came to shit and only farted!

Logjam's picture
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The Baron wrote:
...and let the shower do the rest (and it tickles!)

This reminded me of years ago when I'd routinely take baths. When I was finished, I'd pull the plug and then remain in position while the water level slowly inched down. OOoooo. It produced some exquisite sensations, especially when it got to brown-eye level. Thanks for jogging the memory, Baron.

Logjam

prarie doggin's picture
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LJ, did you ever try pulling the plug with the brown eye directly on top of the drain?
Double OOooooo.

Logjam's picture
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Ever since losing my baking-soda sub to a powerful drain vortex, I've never again let anything of value drift too close.

Logjam

shitwit's picture
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I've voted "other". I use the hand-held shower sprayer and point the jet stream right at my bungport. Spray it out good. It also feels good on my poor tortured ring. The past year has not been kind to it.

LJ- I remember that same sensation in the bathtub while the water level went down. Yikes! Brief, but powerful.

_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Gaseous Glay's picture
l 100+ points
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I go counterclockwise: Left arm pit, crotch, balls and ass, right arm pit. Germ phobe that I am, never do worry about where that bar of soap has been the next time that I use it. Neither does my wife. Why is that?

prarie doggin's picture
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When I use the soap directly back there, it usually winds up with several hairs stuck to it. Well, that soap might as well be a bar of Kryptonite in Superman's shower. No one goes near it.

By the way GG, why do you hate your right arm pit?