i had to choose my husband. even though i will talk to anyone about poop if it comes up, i'll usually wait for other people to bring it up so i don't come across as some crazy poop-obsessed loon. mr. pance, however, already knows i'm a crazy poop-obsessed loon._______i love poop.
I usually talk out loud about poop to myself as I am wandering around the local Walmart. I seem to fit in that way,
I mention shit out loud to myself at Walmart but I also mention fuck and stupid bitch too so I think if we are talking about actual poop then that honor would go to the mister. I swear we talk about our bowel movements daily. _______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
I have to say the Mister gets the brunt of my poop-missives; however, there are friends and coworkers with whom I have discussed poop at length (but not the length of the poop).
I put my wife because we have a daily exchange about our son's bowel habits. He has a ton of bathroom related issues that require our constant monitoring.
I would have marked my co-workers but I don't think telling them that they are full of shit or that they're idea is so lame that they should go soak their head in the crapper is the same as talking about poop and/or other toilet related topics._______Yo quiero Taco Bell.
I marked other because it is combination of the last three. I don't talk about my poop unless I have a need that requires me to tell a poop related story. If I'm bursting with a poop story I will tell anyone who listen. Only as soon as they find out its about poop they don't to listen._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Only the cats understand me, and their purpose. There is no point trying to discuss it with anyone else. _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Bilgepump, it is only fitting for you to pose using cat-wipe for one of the months in Daphne's pooppreport calander._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
Anyone who will listen!
We believe in sharing our poop experiences with EVERYONE! Not just our friends. Most often it is our main topic of conversation.
I usually discuss these matters with all the voices I hear in my head.
I voted "Anyone who'll Listen". Being in a (very) low-level managerial position, I don't get much of a chance to discuss poop-related stuff with the co-workers. I can't generally discuss this kinda thing with the people I "manage", because they'd report me, and the people at my level all seem to have higher aspirations, so they pretend to be serious and "above all that shit" (no pun intended). Which kinda sucks. Mrs. Mullet is not particularly poop-orientated when sober, so getting a poop-laugh out of her can be an expensive exercise. Oh well, I can always talk to myself, and tell the dogs while I wrestle 'em..._______The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
I voted for "Anyone who will listen", since I seem to have an audience here I am ready to talk, I'm on my way to the bathroom and will be back shortly.
_______Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
Well...I am back, it was a typical BM that started out with a squeee sound which quickly changed tone to a sploort and then one massive final sploosh. It consisted of several floating chunks of a lovely khaki color that had a distinct aroma which some of you might have found to be offensive. I was going to read my Playboy magazine while I sat there but the pages were all stuck together. Tune in at the same time tomorrow for the further adventures of Chief's O-ring.
I primarilly talk about that stuff with Mrs. Shitake, but will on occasion talk with classmates at school about it. I am in school for a career in healthcare, so poop is a normal thing to discuss in the healthcare field. I have a class mate that has IBS like me, so she and I discuss it quite frequently. She is also a friend of mine. Nothing to be embarassed about. We very often know if one another is having a bad IBS day. My wife is use to me "talking shit", and she knows too when I have a bad IBS day. I will be on the toilet frequently, and for longer durations.
_______In search of the ever evasive BM
my wife and i will talk about poop for hours. also, at work i had a long line of friends who came and went that we'd always take a gp together and discuss. i am a private person but i cannot help but tell someone about funny bathroom stuff. it's just too good not to share.
The mister was out working yesterday and a woman in one of the warehouses he was at received a text message. He heard her gasp and say a few swears so he inquired what was up. It seems her teenage daughter had just sent her a photo of a massive shit she had just taken and wanted to show it to everyone. Future PR in the making right there....or maybe it was Leandra._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
WTF-- what smells? shit!
I tell my wife if I'm having any unusual symptoms or products, and she tells me. Aside from that, if it comes up in conversation, I will gladly talk about it; but I rarely bring it up unless it is definitely and obviously appropriate, for fear of seeming too interested. I do enjoy the rare opportunities, though.
Uh, that would be you all.
Coworkers: nurses, doctors, even respiratory therapists who work on another system from the digestive; poop discussion is always relevant in health care. I tell my brother to read my posts on poopreport, especially when I write something interesting. I asked my Dad the other day if he was familiar with the concept of the Shart, and he responded in the affirmative. Mom tells me about the size difference of turds from her little girl cat and the big male tabby (factor of 2-3). Isn't it intereting how cat turds resemble jumbo tootsie rolls with rock sugar? Poop discussion comes up from time to time. ----Captain Craptastic!!!
Friends and family. I just got back from Florida with my Mom and cousins, and that was the confab every morining. Seems like all of us had rapid moving colons down there on the redenck riviera.
I just got scolded by my aunt for giving details about the stomack I had yesterday. She says it upsets people. It's not socially accepted even with family._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
sp....Please elaborate on the stomack you had yesterday, I have had some trouble tracking down the meaning of the term....thanks.
I tell poor Mr. daphne if I've made an extremely interesting brown.
What he has to endure to get some tail. _______.....hugging bunnies since 1969 www.daphneszoo.com
i usually talk about poop with my best friend but mostly with my family at the dinner tale....we call it brown humor... it comes up at least once a night at the table but when i try to talk about it to my friends mom she gets all grosed out i dont get whypoopfan!
A stomack is a distended stuck gas stomache. _______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
If I have a conversation longer than 20 minutes, I'm talking about poop or farts. I could be talking with the president or the pope and we would wind up talking about poop after 20 minutes.
My company and our partner signed a $250 million contract on friday, and we were talking about poop before the meeting was over.
I'm with Dung Daddy on this one
I get yelled at every time I talk about poop. Noone i know likes to talk about poop._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
I agree DD. It doesn't matter what the topic is or who is present, all conversations eventually end up being about poop.
Poor sittingpretty! No one to talk to about our favorite topic!?! That'd be rough! Sounds like you might need to expand your circle of friends to include a few poop-friendly members. Or get a dog! Dogs live to poop and poop is very important to them, among other valuable pursuits like ass-sniffing and cat turd consumption. A faithful canine companion will always enjoy praise for job well done after a nice poop! The morning walk can be a time of bonding with your dog, all from discussion of poop, even if the conversation is one-sided. ----Captain Craptastic!!!
Or you could just put Bilge on a leash, same difference._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not house trained, and I'll hump anything that moves, or doesn't...I"m just not fussy anymore.
_______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Just rub his nose in any "accidents" he has SP and a word of advice if he starts to hump your leg its best to just let him finish._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
Actually SP, just "peel" it off your leg when dry and you'll save a bunch on razors.
I had a lonely childhood, dogs wouldn't hump my leg unless they put a sack over my head first.
It is not easy to expand a circle of friends when one can't be very social. I feel that I have expanded my circle when I joined poopreport. If I get a dog, I will name it Bilgepump._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
aw.....I'm honored, honey. _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
I'd name mine asshole just so I could yell for him from my front porch. Asshole! Hey Asshole get over here.....on second thought my neighbors might think I was calling them and get confused._______Earth, insane asylum for the universe.
I wanted to name mine squirt. Not because she was so tiny, but rather so I could yell out "come squirt" in public and not get arrested.
...I wanted to name my dog Stains, for the same reason!_______The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
BM, I'm sure you've heard of "A ballad of a dog named Stains" by Red Peters. If not check it out. It's hilarious.
I'm in the Army and that got me comfortable with having conversations about poop, while pooping. In basic training the girls and I would decribe color, size, texture, amount of undigested food and so on. I thought at first how I tell my co-worker, Charlie all the time how taking dump on the clock pleases me more than the wings that rumbled my tummy in the first place. Then I thought about how my best friends warn strangers about my poop talk habit and how I grunt obnoxiously loud at my parent's house when my grandma walks by the bathroom and the fact that I don't have boyfriend, probably because I talk about poop. I would be lying if I said I chose one specific person as my victim of poo info overLOAD. I don't know why someone would choose not to talk about poop. You're just not normal dude.
PD, did Red Peters go to his doctor and get a penicillin shot for his ailment?
my hubby and i always discuss our daily pooping activities!
I wonder how screaming's type went from black to poo light-brown?_______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
This is one of those subjects that never seems to come up in everyday conversation. So much to be discussed, and yet so much left unsaid.
To Captain's O-Ring:
What adventures have passed you by today? Was there a parade? Was it windy? Did you set up a vegetable stand? Any flooding, perhaps? Or, maybe all was quiet and there was no activity at all...
_______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
Correction: Chief's O-Ring. _______To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.
I get to share with all of my friends here !
Hey Brannie! Where have you been? I thought you got sick and died or at the very least, forgot about us._______...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17
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