Whose poop is the grossest

// 26 Comments
PoopReport of the Year Awardj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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The Diaper-Wearing Grandpa. Old people -- blecccch.
35% (145 votes)
The Skanky Roommate. I know there are worms in there.
9% (37 votes)
Animals. All of them. They eat gross crap, they poop gross crap.
6% (26 votes)
The Complete Stranger. I don't know you, I don't trust your poop.
13% (56 votes)
The Homeless Man. It must be festering in his pants.
36% (151 votes)
Total votes: 415

26 Comments on "Whose poop is the grossest"

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
l 100+ points
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I chose the Complete Stranger for one reason and one reason alone: fear of the unknown.

You know the diaper wearing grandpa is in close proximity to poop (the same could be said for the Homeless Man); you can be sure that your skanky roommate is skanky in every way; you know that animals poop, sometimes without warning and always without regard to where they are.

But the Stranger...the Stranger could be dropping a deuce in his pants as you sit next to him at the movies or as he stands behind you in line at Taco Bell. You just NEVER KNOW!

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Holy skid marks Batman!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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By far animal poop. My cat can make paint peel with his farts. And the litter box, ew, ew, ew. I go through a box of baking soda a month, just for his litter box.
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I am winter's hurricane, I am the great blizzard of 1899, and no body shall be exempt from my wrath.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Queen of Sharts's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I had a bum shit on my doorstep once-- it took full force of the garden hose to get that poop off da stoop. There are a lot of homeless people in SF... it's kinda sad, but I tell ya- their poop is RANK!

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Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Pantload's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I went for the homeless dump, but there is another catagory I would put forth. That would be the pooh of the smoker. A very peculiar stank, indeed.


What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

Pooperella's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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For myself, it was a toss-up between the old people and homeless people...but I settled with a vote for the old people. While the poop of the homeless might well be untrustworthy (especially since their diet may vary quite often), it occured to me that there's a good chance someone might be wiping the poop of the old people. As someone who wipes poop for a living, I've gotta say that any poop can be tolerated as long as you don't have the chance of touching it because of an errant wipe. *shudder* Especially when you consider how different drugs can affect your bowels, and old people take a lot of drugs!

Toots N. McCrack's picture
l 100+ points
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What if you're in the hospital and your skanky roomate is an old homeless person? Just kidding!

I voted for "stranger", because as a caregiver by profession, I know that how you feel about who does the crapping makes a difference.

A grandpa? You (should) care about and respect the elderly and he can't help it-- You may be in his poopy-pants some day (I meant that as in "shoes", not, well, nevermind!). A roomate, skanky or not, at least you know them and they may have some good points. A homeless person, they are down on their luck (and you could be too someday by some horrid set of circumstances) and could be good people so you feel sorry for them that they have no where else to go (always appreciate your toilet and nice TP!). Animals? Not a problem. They have the right of way whenever crap is concerned and it's to be expected-- most of them don't have flushable toilets. But a stranger? They could be a complete asshole, you don't know. Like in the instance of a turd terrorist, you know they are a jerk and having to come in contact with their excrement isn't necessary. Even if it's just a lingering stench, when you don't know them personally, it's the grossest of the gross. Same goes for a warm public toilet seat if not knowing the warmer. Ew. (and still then, eh.)

All shit is unpleasant, but it makes all the difference in the world if you know or care about the crapper. A person or animal you like or feel for is dealable. Someone you dislike or don't know-- yuck! Just my experience as someone who has to deal with others' shit for a living....


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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Homeless could very well equal unhealthy diet. That could translate into some dicey poop. There are hygiene issues here that could influence the outcome...er, output.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
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I would like to throw myself into the mix here. Mine can be pretty damn gross too and extremely stinky I might add
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Gaseous Glay's picture
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I can't believe that Old People are even coming close to Homeless Man.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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Everyone knows that for a girl, the grossest poo comes from her brothers' idiot friends' butts.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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healthy1, I suggest switching to "Tidy Scoop Small Spaces" litter. It has the orange top on it. Great stuff, and if you scoop daily, you don't have to use baking soda or ever replace it. We have 4 cats and our house never smells. I'm serious.

I voted for homeless poop. The idea of a poor diet along with possible drug use and a lack of hygeine that some homeless people have brought forth an image that I'd rather not have.

Not that all homeless people are drug addicts or mentally insane.


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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Or, H1, just eat the fucker, that'll teach 'em.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Sir Thomas Crapper's picture
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I find the grouping of animal excretia unhelpful - as in the film, where that guy talks to cockroaches, and gathers animal feces for a garden. While the elephant and the horse provide exquisite and flavoursome manure to the initiated, a canine turd would hardly be an appropriate source of nourishment, containing as it does a large meat content, and accompanying nasties.

Damn it - cow dung is so finger-licking good the savvy cows lick the top off of it themselves - how many of us can say that for our own anal produce? (Barring, of course, those in detention in Haiti in the early 80's.)

Since the advent of flush toilets we have all lost our contact with the rectal tricklings that we prize so highly. "Avanti homeless shitter" - so say I.

Take that bronzy shite and firkle it up into Mr Cruise's Turd zone, rapidly.

Queen of Sharts's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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uh-- you're on the wrong site, dude-- I think you're looking for the perverted sickos site... or webmd...
yikes


_______
Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
l 100+ points
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They fail to mention flu sufferers. I don't know about other people, but in the few times in my life when I had the flu, my crap was nasty both to me and everyone within 10 miles.

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

...and they all lived crappily ever after!

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
l 100+ points
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10-4 daphne; that small spaces litter rocks! But Fresh Step with the crystals works pretty well too :-)

_______
Holy skid marks Batman!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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0

Bilgepump (343) -- 02.16.2007
Or, H1, just eat the fucker, that'll teach 'em.

No thanks Bilgey, I eat enough stir fried kitty cat when I go out for Chineese food.

I suppose I could send my cat to Melmack, and feed Alf.
_______
I am winter's hurricane, I am the great blizzard of 1899, and no body shall be exempt from my wrath.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Queen of Sharts's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Chinese people don't eat cats.


_______
Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Oh, but yes. They do. Occasionally.

Queen of Sharts's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Chinese American people don't eat cats.


_______
Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Well, SOMEBODY does.

WARNING! VERY GRAPHIC! (I'm NOT kidding!) Apologies to cat lovers and the squeamish. This is very sad. I wonder why PETA's not all over this.

Anyway, I think the homeless' poop would be the grossest, since it has the potential to be riper than the others.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I picked Skanky Roommate. You can avoid all the other poops wherever possible. However, you're stuck with the roommate. Plus worms are disgusting!

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If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I don't know who's poop is the grossest, but I do know who's poo is the sweetest: infant poop. I remember when Little DP was an infant before we started feeding him real food. His diaper would fill with this sweet smelling, green paste. It may not have been roses, but it was far from repulsive -- and not just because he was my child either.


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Deja Poo - Because this shit's so strange, it couldn't ever have happened before.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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BTW, why is eating feline anymore gross than eating beef? It's all animal and it's all dead. Hopefully, it is all raised and slaughtered in a humane fashion.

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Deja Poo - Because this shit's so strange, it couldn't ever have happened before.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
l 100+ points
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0

Well said, Deja Poo. As long as it's not human and it's not still moving...

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

...and they all lived crappily ever after!

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I used to work in a neighborhood that had a lot of homeless people. The drunk ones had terrible poop problems. Most people avoided alley ways, not because they were afraid of getting mugged; just to avoid the deathly odor.
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SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan