Oh my god!!! I find myself weeping at these beautiful words so wonderfully strung together!!! I'm even able to overlook bad grammar, in order to let the tome flow to its natural pace!

Someone needs to put this to music!

Poor rental tie.

This fear is a big consideration in my daily schedule. I don't drink coffee before flights, for example, because I don't want to find myself needing to shit just when I'm penned in by the peanut-drink cart.

While defephobia has a nice ring to it, it sounds more like fear of shitting, which isn't what this is. What's needed is something that translates "fear of needing to shit at inopportune times." Some manageable form of Cantgobutneedtophobia

Inopportunecrapaphobia?

I coined this term some 10 years ago back in college, when my frequent power drinking often brought me to a road house that had no working commode (only a piss trough). I describe it as that fleeting moment when you know your best laid plans have now gone seriously wrong and the fear almost seems to scare the crap out of you (literally) in a faster manner. The term evolved over the years to having many meanings, but mostly it involves that "I don't think I'm gonna make it" feeling.

Power poopers, as I have confirmed by reading through this site, almost always seem to have a battle plan. Others inherently have a battle plan too, just that they might not know they do. Defephobia sets in when those plans, be they whatever you've instilled in yourself (like Logjam reworking his daily schedule), have suddenly gone out the window. Find yourself at the locked door of your favorite 'safe haven' with a perfectly timed turd trip, and now you're faced with a mad dash or literal turtle maneuver. That is defephobia sweeping over you.

Btw, sitting on a plane, clenching your cheeks for an hour before realizing you cannot make it to the terminal, only to find yourself trapped by the peanut lady is a perfect example. Let's face it, about 80-90% of us are going to hold out until the last possible instant before crapping in the bread box of a plane. Defephobia starts at the moment you feel the urge, and starts to build as you try to hold out to somehow make it to the terminal. When you know there's no turning back, and then find your path is blocked... pure phobic behavior.

I actually came across this site while doing a search for this exact phobia, but have found nothing medically on point. Sure the definition might need a little fine tuning, but that's why we are all hear, right?

Ah, thanks for the clarification, Defephobia. I didn't quite have the definition right. I know this panicked felling too well. So it is the fear of feeling this feeling that motivates me to make adequate (but never fail-safe) preparations. And when defephobia raises its ugly head, it is the fear as much as the shit cramps with which I must struggle.

Also, I can make a prediction. Given your great observation skills, and need to analyze things poop, you're going to be a lifer on PoopReport. You have no choice. Kiss life as you know it goodbye.

I must have read the postings on this site for 4 hours last weekend. My stomach hurt from laughing so hard. So indeed, goodbye life!

Yes it is good for me I found PoopReport. I actually mentioned to Dave I had thoughts on creating such a site from sratch after my wedding run-in mentioned above. Yes, it is a true story, and Dave has kindly asked me to relive it hear for all. I'll fire-up the WayBack Machine this weekend, and let 'er rip.

Btw, thanks Dave! You've read my mind and saved me a ton of work. When do I get my serial number and orange jumpsuite?

Someone call Pete Townsend.This has the makings of a rock opera.Instead of Quadrophenia Defephenia.You can envision the dancers on stage looking for a place to poop.You then have other dancers come to the rescue with port a pottys.Some of the songs could be "I Can't Poop for Miles" "Won't Get Stooled Again" "My Constipation"

I love pooping

I am sure this could be turned into a modern day R&B ballad, a la Usher or 2Pac

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

Yeah, Usher definetly the guy to do this. He created an album called "Chocolate Factory" -- you know he's one of us.

DAVE DELETED MY NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAVE YOU ARE HORRIBLE!!!!!

uh, ok

I had a concept band called Pipi & Kahka that was to be like Usher or Kc and JoJo and only sing about poop, but then Dave Chappelle beat me to the punch with his rips on R Kelly.
Damn! I knew someone else would do it before I got around to recording...

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

Only a piss trough? If somebody was really desperate, does it become a Fecinal?

Awesome. Just awesome. Should I ask if the wedding story is based on truth, or fiction? Aw screw it. Its genious enough as it is. Bravo my well-writted friend.

Hey, ThreePly. Where have you been?

Swell! I now have another word in my poop vocabulary.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

Very true, very true.
Poop on!

-Poopgirl

Very well writen. Have you got anymore poems like this?

I don't like it, I love it!!! Great poem, A+
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.