poop culture

Big changes on PoopReport.com

Posted 09.01.2005 by Dave (11538)
What's new at PoopReport? Big, big changes. After five years and 2500 hand-generated HTML pages, we've made the big and complex and challenging move to a database driven site.

So what does this mean for you?

First and foremost, you'll note that you now have the option to log in to submit comments. This does two really important things:

  1. Protects your identity. No more fake posts!

  2. Allows you to accumulate points. Soon (it may not be implemented right away) users will get points for every action they take to build the PoopReport community. Making a comment = 1 point. Publishing a story = 10 points. Inviting another user to join = 7 points. And so on. Soon it'll be clear who are the real movers and shakers in the world of intellectual feces.

  3. Create a profile that tells the world who you are.

  4. And more neat stuff.

So how do you get your identity?

ACCESSING YOUR EXISTING IDENTITY
If you've ever had a story published on PoopReport, or if you're a frequent commenter, I've created an identity that's waiting for you. Click to request a password and enter your username. The computer will email a password to whatever address I have on file for you. If it doesn't arrive after a minute or two (and be sure to check your spam folder!) then email me and I'll get you your password.

"BUT I DON'T WANT AN IDENTITY!"
You don't need one. PoopReport still allows you to comment without signing in. The only difference: your comment will go into a queue to be approved by a human being before it appears. Hopefully that doesn't take very long -- we've got quite a few moderators working to expedite the process.

However: there's really no reason not to register. It takes two seconds, your identity is protected, and I'll never sell your address to spammers. Promise.

WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
Gosh, a whole bunch.

  • You can email pages to friends.
  • You can subscribe to RSS feeds.
  • See the latest comments anywhere on the site -- now the conversation doesn't end just because the story is in the archives.
  • Better troll protection. Assholes and fetishists are a thing of the past.

Coming soon:

  • a Hall of Fame
  • User points
  • Integrated forums
  • Integrated chat
  • More functional section index pages than what we have now
  • More functional user profiles and individual user archives than what we have now

The best part: my reign of terror is over. For five years I've held this site in a dictatorial stranglehold. Well, my glorious palace on the Tigris has been sacked. My statue has been toppled. This is the first step towards distributing the responsibilities here on PoopReport -- more people to moderate, more people to edit, more people to work on the site and make it better.

Not everything has been implemented yet, and I'm sure there are still bugs to be worked out yet. If you spot one, by all means let me know. If you have trouble logging into your account, means let me know. And if you have any suggestions, means let me know.



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daphne (3325) -- 09.01.2005

First post rules! Couldn't resist.
I'm going surfing on the site now....
.....hugging bunnies since 1969

AssBlaster2000 (1117) -- 09.12.2005

Even second post rules when the new site is not yet open to the public. Woohoo!

Logjam (2356) -- 09.14.2005

Wow, Dave. So now I can earn a point every time I drivel on in one of these comment boxes. Points accumulate, and if I get, say 1000, then I can trade them in? For a Poop t-shirt, sample of Sphincterine....? Does first post get more points? Can you rig it so that if the first post says "First post rules" the author gets a 5-point deduction?

Anyway, great job Dave. You are indeed The Mighty Load, The Everlasting Fodder, the Prince of Poop.

Di Uhreea (409) -- 09.14.2005

Genius, Dave.
Glad it finally worked out for ya!
Let's roll....

Bilgepump (1479) -- 09.14.2005

Dave, just a dumbass query from a wanna be glory hound (you are aware of course that I am ranked #1 in the Poop Report Fantasy Football League), is there a way to check your accumulated points, or will there be soon?

Dave (11538) -- 09.14.2005

Definetly. Coming soon.

Hairy Pooter (111) -- 09.14.2005

whoo hooo! Unmoderated comments!

  • And with bullet items too!
wonderpance (504) -- 09.14.2005

this is the most exciting thing to happen since the last exciting thing that happened to me!

wonderpance (504) -- 09.14.2005

ordinarily, i'd post this in the forums. but they're down at the moment, so...

i just approved my first comment! whooopeeeee! that was the most exciting thing to happen to me since that last exciting thing!

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 09.14.2005

Love the new system, so far.

Bilgepump (1479) -- 09.14.2005

POOPIN' IS COOL!!!

Better troll protection. Assholes and fetishists are a thing of the past.

uh oh, I wonder if that is the sounding of my death knell!

scatoman (253) -- 09.14.2005

Great changes to the site, Dave.

In the words of Lloyd Christmas, Jim Carrey's character in "Dumb and Dumber", a film with a great poop scene...I like it a lot!

Poodemonium (25) -- 09.14.2005

Yay!! Features!

And i'm officially one of the PR people. Not a big PR person mind you, but it still feels good to belong.

Pinch A. Loaf (27) -- 09.15.2005

Well - I've wanted to change my handle anyway not that I'm sold on this one either... The new PoopReport is cool! It'll be nice to get a point for my comments until I get it together enough to actually send a full fledged poop report. Dave, is there a way to translate my previous post under WhoFloatedTheAirBiscuit? to the new me at Pinch A. Loaf? And also - will we ever be able to change our names (in case I come up with something I like better)? Wondering...

Poopaloopas (28) -- 09.15.2005

Really upset that you didn't include me as an automatic member. I've posted a comment on 4 out of 5 stories that get front-paged. I don't know if you'll ever make it up to me.

Obi-Dung -- not yet logged in with p-word, oops (not verified) -- 09.18.2005

Woohoo! I smell exciting new things upon the wind -- wait -- well, that's the bourbon steak coming back to haunt me.

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 09.18.2005

Wow thats great

PooperGal (527) -- 09.22.2005

Hey,
I comment here a shitload, but I had to start a new account. And after that nice poem I wrote for Poop For Peace Day, you'd think I'd qualify to be an honorary Poop Reporter at least. Oh well. Back to the crapper I go.

Seriously...The changes are cool, and Poop Report is destined to become more than just a fart in the Internet windstorm. Good going, Dave.

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

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