AB, how you can remember all that in the middle of a brain meltdown is a testimony to the resilience of the human psyche. You've obviously put your life back together now, and realized the healing power of humor.

"My stomach was doing more than flips -- it was performing a damn floor routine"--Priceless!

And, just what kind of a turd can one expect from a locomotive?

Excellent story. Glad you could extract the humor from such a sad situation.

It's not meant to be a comparison, considering the dose of Ibuprofen you took, but I took two of the damn things 3 days ago and got some pretty nasty diarrhea from them..I can only imagine what 75 would do!

That's pretty humiliating. Interesting that you would choose crapping your pants over crapping in public WITHOUT pants...but it kind of makes sense. Pants keep the crap in, hopefully long enough for you to make an exit where crapping on the floor is just crapping ont the floor.

You were wearing a thong, but you were worried about walking around with you booty showing? O.K. All in all, this was a good story. Thanks.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

I am glad you got your life back together. I am sorry about your favorite pants.If you were in dire straits like that poop on the floor and tell the people in the hospital you had an accident.They deal with situations like that.

Now that SUCKED. Blowing explosive diahreea acrossa stall and up cucking at eh same time is one thing, but then haveing th e abulence guy come in... wow.

"So I ended up spending the rest of that day wearing excruciatingly uncomfortable gauze underwear"--Har har har.

Gosh! I OD-ed on something milder, but I know the Charcoal squirts well. I never threw up, but as I said, I didn't take as much.

Glad you're ok now. Sorry about the pants :P

I was a Firefighter/EMT a couple of careers ago. There is a subtle timing involved in administering activated charcoal to insure it is vomited all over the ER and not the emergency vehicles. After all, they have people paid to clean up that sort of thing.

I'm not sure whether to be sad or what after reading this. Suicide attempts aren't that funny to me. Anyway, at least I get another point for this pointless comment.

After reading "most foul thing I have ever had to let pass through my lips (and I once dated a man who was like Rodney Dangerfield, except with a mullet, earrings, and not as cool)" I could grasp some of your despondancy. I belive Rodney has finally received some
respect....albeit posthumoustly.

Glad things worked out in the end.

That's a sad story. After Catholic schools and plaid pants and skirts, I'm happy to hear a pair was sacraficed for a good explod-o-poop! Have a Crappy Day! Poop Shooter

To Dumpster, I would expect a locomotive to poop out a very sooty turd. If my black tide of fury had been solid, I'm sure that's what it would have been like.

Thinking back on the incident I probably still would not have pooped on the floor though. Making a pile is one thing, but this stuff was some weird liquid/solid hybrid I have never seen before or since. Someone probably would have slipped on it anyway and sued me :/ Anyway, if I was thinking clearly at that time they wouldn't have stuck me in the psych wing.

And to SamDamnit, it wasn't merely an issue of flashing my butt to the whole hospital. I was worried that if I ran around like that I would leave a metaphoric trail of breadcrumbs behind me. And I don't think any birds would have picked them up :P

Thank you for your comments. Reading them makes it funnier to think back on :)

The sickness that comes after trying to OD is the worse. When you aren't exploding from both ends, your stomach cramps in the most painful of ways.

Your story is one of those priceless jems that remind me why I stopped doing dumb things when I was partly crazy too.

Never had activated charcoal, but as for hospital "accidents" - when high school's hellish experiences first started up my IBS, episodes were characterized by the sort of pain normally reserved for being stabbed in the stomach with white-hot knives. Sometimes this was further augmented by having pain and "I'm gonna projectile-shoot liqui-shit" standing up, but complete calm and no shit upon sitting on the toilet. Stand up and the pain and pressure comes back.

One night, I was in such blindingly intense pain that my parents took me to the ER. They gave me a pill of some sort that calmed it all down, turning it from "fiery, make-me-scream pain and explosive diarrhea" into "diarrhea". Problem was, it also took away the pressure that gave me warning, so I'm walking down the ER hallway in only tighty-whities and a gown, headed for the restroom (about ten feet ahead) at a brisk but not running pace, and suddenly it all comes flooding out...

AB, if you will google the phrase "locomotive poop," about the fourth hit you get is a story on PR entitled "Accident and Response," by our very own Bunga Din.

Truly, the reach of PR is global!

Again, I am glad you have come through this dark time. I only have one bit of philosphy to impart as far as mental, relational, physical, or any other type of health is concerned: Never let the laughter die.

Teenage years can be very tough. Glad you survived.

I have a freind who took an entire bottle of Tylenol cold. He was in a coma for a week. You're lucky to be conherent enough to even write this story. Most people suffer enough liver damage to need dialasis for the rest of their life. It's good to hear you made it through.

Pooping like clockwork I am going to stick with the weed and never overdose on pills, if this is the hell I will have to go through if I overdose so I will just stick with the weed and have no brain damage

"I will just stick with the weed and have no brain damage." Please stop before it is too late (which sounds like about 3 joints from now).

I was a little crazy many years ago too. I know the horrible feeling, taste, etc. you are talking about. I was not allowed out of bed for 5 days afterward-it is the most humiliating thing in the world to use a bedpan when you are having the most disgusting diarrhea of your life. I also shit the bed in the midst of that and had to call a nurse in to clean me and change my sheets. That was even worse than using the bedpan. It was also the stinkiest poop I have ever smelled and I did not have my own room!
I am glad we are both better now! It is good to remember it with humor too.

Chalk it up as yet another reason to not commit suicide.

www.mydailypoop.com

This a very sad story, but at least you're over your psychotic teenaged female stage (we hope) and you can laugh about your pants pooping.

I, too, took many overdoses of prescription drugs over the past three years. I had the intention of overdose to intentionally kill myself. The effects of the activated charcoal are definately awful. I think the ER doctors were intentionally giving me the charcoal to try to discourage my actions. Although my life continues to be very sad and troubled, I finally realized what I was doing to my family. I am trying now to better cope and stay alive for my family.

Please, whoever has problems like this, stop smoking weed, overdosing, shooting up, etc. It's just not worth it. I've personally seen a lot of people who smoke illegal stuff (and they got caught too), and I see no point in smoking it. You WILL get caught. I think every smoker 18 years and older just needs to relax with some friends and have a good cigar. Much better than trying to hide your stash while smoking some of it. Why 18? No one younger than that needs to be smoking anyway.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

This story isn't funny at all. It IS well written and expressive, though, and it serves several points. Unless Dave has changed his mind, it does, I think, support his goal of having the site be helpful to people.

Thank you, Angry Bowels, for sharing a difficult experience with us. It goes to show you that good medicine, good support, and good information all go hand in had to keeps us healthy! Glad you're still with us!

_______
Santa Caca!

I like to assume that my Identity does not terminate when I exit this life at the appointed day and hour, and that I'm not allowed to exit early, and that I need to keep on keeping on till that time.

I've read so many Near Death Experiences, and they all say it's a NO-NO, that life is all about helping each other.

So the harder things get for you, the more you should try helping others.

Thanks so much AB for reporting your experience here, like how the awful black stuff(activated charcoal) does help save lives.

Geoff

..wow.. why did you keep those pants???

I am glad that you have got your life back together.

The bottom is never any fun.

Your friends here at PR will do our best to cheer you up, and feel free to chat with some of us if you wish to.

Very well written story by the way. I hope to see more stories from you, and hopefully funny one.
_______
"If December be changeable and mild, the whole winter will remain a child."

Harsh times in high school? Almost everybody has them. I want to erase that period of my mind. For some reason i could not socialize and you can imagine the effects. I could have been worst, but i never found a reason important enough to end my life, although i thought about that too.