This story makes me kind of happy that I don't have children. And that I do still have a gallbladder. Very well-written, I especially liked 'burnt umber sludge'.

To C Everett, I think you may be right. I was hot once. I would let turds fly from my rectum because they came out as kittens and rainbows (or black sooty diarrhea). Then I had to go through hormone therapy and got fat. Now I have irritable bowel. Chicks do poop, but only when we aren't hot anymore.