Hmmm, Dave, your going to have nightmares for a week after reading all of these. Here is my scenario:

Dave is driving the country in search of the greatest poop story ever. He is eating everything everyone has ever written about on the site to prove and or disprove the foods potency for creating a good or traumatic poop story. Dave knows no bounds when it comes to authenticating a good poop story. He travles from the East Coast to the West Coast. From Oysters to Beer and Lobster. He finally arives back in Tennessee, or was it Kentucky?? can't remember, but anyways.... He's looking for Gramma Sally's Diner off of old Route 95 near the Grist Mill in a town called Bum-Jack.

He is testing the story of Bunga Din about eating a plate of their famous Pork Rinds with Sweet Pea Gravy and chugging Blatz beer. The story said it would make you have an almost insta-shit upon completing the meal. Dave had on his poop report ID badge and headed into Gramma Sally's Diner. He ordered up a plate of Rinds and Sweet Pea gravy. (and a tall boy of Blatz on draft)

As he crammed the chow (albeit disgusting and gut wrenching) down and chugged the Blatz (enough to upchuck a woodchuck) he started to feel a grumbling in his abdomen. This of cource was not new to Dave, the Master Pooper he is. This time it was different.... very very different....

Dave new it was not looking pretty for his digestive tract. Dave stood and searched for the closest depositry of waste products (aka the shitter). He spies it in the far corner and decides rather than shitting his Fruit-Of-The-Looms, he'de run for it.

As dave gets up, the pains which feel like razor blades pierces his guts. He is not used to this, but forces a mad dash to the loo. As the door flys open, he realizes he is outside and he sees an outhouse that is 110 yards away. Dave starts to cry (tears and all). He is feeling the depths of despair combined with the ideas of stupidity for not believing Bunga's story and having to prove him wrong.

Dave starts to stager outside. The pain is intense and he doubles over. His stomache is getting swollen. He rights himself and looks down only to see his belly growing bigger and bigger. He now looks like one of them beer drinker guys with the no-see-um bellies (it's so big they can't see their members). The pain is unbearable. Another step and his belly doubles in size. Dave is exploding. The toxic mass he consumed has caused a chemicle reaction inside of dave and there is nothing he can do.

Dave thinks of farting, but after 50 years as the professor of poop, he "knows" his spincter and feels it's a bad decision.

Another 10 feet and Dave is swoolen the size of the grape girl on Willy Wonka. Dave falls over and starts to roll down a slight hill, all the while expanding in size. He tries to fart for real this time, but his ass cheeks are so swoolen, nothing comes out. As he rolls down the hill, he picks up some tremendous speed. He looses consciousness midway down the hill. As he nears the bottom of the hill, there is a small country road. A truck is coming. It's a manure truck. The second Dave hits the road, the Manure truck hits Dave. The explosion is so intense, it sends a mushroom cloud 1000 feet into the air.

It takes 5 years for the FBI to figure out what happened down in the valley (which was nicknamed Stinky Ravine in years to come) They finally found enough human DNA to identify the poop of Dave.

So Dave is dead now doing what he loved and is now in Poop Heaven or wherever dead poop gods go to, reigning over the latrines of the world in happy harmony. The End.

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Poop Shooter!

We'll have to start calling you T.O.D. meaning The Old Dumpster. Or maybe even TOAD The Old Ass Dumpster.

Sorry Toad, couldn't resist.

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Poop Shooter!

On the subject of the auto-flushers, I heard the Dept of Homeland Security has installed cameras and listening devices inside the electric eye on the auto flusher toilets and sinks and uninals. Anyone caught not wiping will probably be getting a call or visit soon.

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Poop Shooter!

Lazy basturd needed to get smacked. I don't care if he was italian, mexican or Australian, anyone that lazy needs a smacking and punishment. please no political crap here. Go to Daily Kos for that.

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Poop Shooter!

A very fine piece of pooetry Dumpster. The limerical foot was just poofect. bunga should be proud!!

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Poop Shooter!

Maybe Bunga has some Dildonts, you know, the reverse of an actual dildo. I'm sure there is a website to find out how to use them Dumpster.

Hey, I know, look on your favorite Wikipedia site! You have a Platinum membership there don't you?

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

Dumpster wrote: "And what about all those pants seams chafing around your, er, "sensitives"?"

After a couple years, callouses develope and it's really not a big deal. A bunion pops up occasionally, but I tip the foot doctor an aextra couple bucks and he removes it.

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

I'm sure a donation of say $250.00 to Dave would help too.

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

my impersonation of KeepOnCrappin:

sniff sniff, waaa waaa, I made a weally weally good comment.... waaaa waaaaa can I have a bonus point ...waaa ....waaaa I been real good, pretty please with a cherry on top can I have a "great comment" tag above my posts. I've been really good!!!!!

Me as Poop Shooter: I would think if your comment was delightful enough to warrent 2 of the 8-10 moderators to give it a couple positive comments they would. Also, if your comment really really sucks, you will get negative praise.... UGH!! Quit whining!

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

I sit upon the throne of death
I clench my cheeks in utter despair
I breathe a breath of mighty fresh air
Although I struggle for the one mighty breath
My stench below I must bequeth
My hole is burning beyone belief
I hope to pass my load and get relief
I grunt and groan, my face turns blue
I pray to the almighty that poo will pass soon
The turtle is preceded by a bit of butt goo
Great things to come as the turtle creeps out
The smell is so bad it's flaring up my gout
A mercy flush to relieve my grief
Finally, my turd is born and I feel relief

Ok, 5 minutes researching sonnets and this is the best I can come up with. I may not be a pooet, but I did once play one on tv.

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

I tried the pole vault once, but sprained my pole. It was painful and the cast they put on didn't hold up too long.

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

Bunga and TSV, I'll try it facing the toilet next time. I did it and it worked ok, but I only scored a 5. Tell me, do you do one filp or two flips before you fire??

Parallel Olympic Omnisport Pooping or P.O.O.P. would be a wonderful olympic sport. Instead of steroids, they would be testing for laxatives and Magnesium Citrate to disqualify people.

BUTT SNEEZE: way cool name! I've never heard of this before. I wonder if you could incoprporate a butt sneeze into the parallel bar gymnastic evacuation manuver of Bunga's

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

I'm amazed at the amount of people that actually click on a site and actually navigate around to different posts, and then have the audacity to post a negative comment.

I click on sites that are offensive to me at times (rarely, as I'm just a sicko at heart within reason) and if I don't like it, I hit the (BACK) button or the mysterious (DELETE) key which only a slim amount of computers have!

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DOH! Pres Any Key to Continue
-Where's the Any key?
Poop Shooter!

I'm still baffeled why EFRO is attempting to convert the masses of this site to his way of thinking. The basis of the site is very clearly spelled out and nowhere is anything found denoting a fetish nature (except in some of the early posts).

Why is it so difficult to accept or not accept. I for one would not be active here if there was open scat-fetish discussions, nor would I have the site bookmarked and check it out daily.

Now I'm not saying this is a 100% good wholesome family site that should be linked from nickelodeon.com or anything like that, but what the hell dude, can't you just give it up and find a site that will accept you and all your wants or needs. GET A CLUE EFRO!! This site is definately not for you! ...or at least the fetish-seeking side.

You do seem intelligent and I think you might possibly be able to add something to the poop-humor of this site albeit you keep the sexual-scattiness out of the posts.

I'm still wondering why the initial post was not axed at the start! This is taking up way too much time. Time that could be spent telling clean stinky poop stories!

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Have a Crappy Day!! Poop Shooter!

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Dump, does this happen when you eat too much Scotch-Tape? I had a bad bout of Scotch Tape eating back in the early 70's and I don't remember any tapeworms in my poo. Maybe I just don't have the "earthy" innards to sustain a good ball of tape!

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Have a Crappy Day!! Poop Shooter!

Dumpster,

3. Remember rule #1 and #2

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Have a Crappy Day!! Poop Shooter!

TSV: Do you use a ladder and scaffolding to get your ass up to the sink? Is it a big sinik with a spray nozzle or a small sink? This just does not make sence. I've been in a zillion bathrooms, and I just don't see how you could get your butthole under the faucet for a power blast without being a contortionist or having some retro-engenieered sink in your house.

I want more details on this because I just don't believe it!

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Have a Crappy Day!! Poop Shooter!

TBW,
Well, when it's up, it's way far up, and there is usually a cute chick near by. I have never downchicked, that's just silly. Although I may try it someday. So, upchIcking it is.

Generally done after eating lots of K of C chicken (which was another thread if I'm correct) and drinking way too much alcholic beverages (which I do on rare occasions). The combination of the two is rather upchickingly beautiful!!

ok, TBW, so I can't type fer shat!

Have a Crappy Day Anyway!! Poop Shooter!

Ok, the hole in a barrel was close, but the actual defination is this:

Back in the good old days when they were building ships out of wood.... the deck boards were fastened with big wrought iron spikes. The spikes were pounded in with a big hammer and then they were countersunk below the level of the wood decking. Then the ship builders would "bung the hole" or place a substance similar to common day okum or caulk into the hole and cover or seal it with a tar like substance, till it was smooth with the surface of the deck.

So, a bung hole is a hole, but originally it was in the deck of a boat, not the end of your ass. And the bunging was the placing of caulk into the hole, rather than the hole itself.

Ok, my knowledge is exausted. Too much more of this and I'll get kicked out of MENSA. Hope y'all have a happy crap today!! Poop Shooter

It's rather disheartening to hear a few of the people on here totally disregarding and openly diss'ing fat people. I'm not fat or even close, but I still can't openly rag on a specific group of people.

I do agree that some obese people do need to clean themselves up more, but just because of one obese woman, it appears there is a partial concensus to "hate" fat people just because they are fat. That's just not right in my opinion. (as my buddy Mike always used to say "Even Fat Chicks Need Love").

To think they should all "die".... rather tasteless even for this forum. I thought this was a happy family place to come and visit and discuss the essence of poop....not a hate mongoring group for "prejudice against fatties" club.

I mean, where would we be without the fat and obease people to add to the well loved stories we read and share here? Without the obese people, we would not realize how slim and fit we all really are (which I doubt). Without the heavyweights, who would the Big & Tall stores sell clothes to?? Who would use the handicapped toilets other than the actual handicapped people and Loo Lizards??

See, we should embrace the Obese of the world. Cherish them. If they were not here, the Earth may not be balanced and tip off it's axis. In closing, I just don't like seeing prejudice comments directed at spicific groups of people in open forum. Maybe just my problem, but I had to post my opinion. Peace in your Movements to All! Poop Shooter

I think you reacted quite professionally. I on the other hand would have screamed "MOMMY" like a little girl and ran puking through the halls while stripping off my clothes heading for the first shower or water fixture I could find. I respect nurses a great deal. The thought of the blubber lady is repulsive and almost a retched as the poo eruption you experienced.

I can imagine a poo spray on a wall with the outline of a human body in the middle. Like a scene from CSI or a crime show!! Cheers to a great story!! Poop Shooter