Praying to the Gods of Shit were ya? Did it go something like this:

God, grant me the serinity to accept the things I cannot change (I've shit myself); courage to change the things I can (Wal-Mart); and wisdom to know the difference (Immodium).

I think the moral of this story is that no matter what the problem, Wal-Mart has a solution. Bad marriage? Have a fling with cute stock boy/cashier. Wanna feel better about your job? Watch the Greeter and thank God it's not you. Run out of gas? Most Wal-Marts are near a gas station (coincidence? I think not. It's a way to sell gas cans.)

BILL GATES IS THE ANTICHRIST!!! What good is he if he can't help a chick to spell?! Does he not know the ramifications of his crappy spellchecker? No wonder people think I'm a flippin' idiot. I better stop this - I'm probably close to losing points for getting off the topic of losing points.

It always freaks me out when I'm in the bathroom with the one making the call. That sudden "Hi" when they are talking on the their phone makes me jump every time. Brings out my paranoia really quick. "OMG - why is this stranger talking to me?"