I understand that, but it's embellishment that makes the story. "I could feel the back of my pants filling with warm goo as I tried to run the last few feet to the toilet" sounds a lot better than "I crapped my pants," for example. I liked this story.
The Cold War
After not going for a few days and building up tension, the colon pushes, threatening to break through the sphincter, but the sphincter refuses to open to let it through. Nothing really amazing happens, but there is hostility between the colon and sphincter, and one continually disagrees with the other and refuses to cooperate. Things eventually just die off.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Also 'twould help if we had standard xhtml tags instead of the archaic deprecated ones. For example, <em> should be <i>, <strong> should be <b>, and <br> doesn't require an ending tag, so it is <br />
... just sayin' (Yes, I know I'm just uselessly rambling and deserve "Lame Comment!").
I eliminated splash from the equation by lessening the water in the bowl and, as a side effect, filling the tank faster so I don't have to wait so long to double flush.
Inside the toilet, there is an overflow tube in the tank. This leads to the bowl. Inside that tube there should be a smaller tube clipped to it. Simply redirect this into the tank, making sure it points towards the tank and not the lid. Splash is considerably reduced, and the water that would fill your bowl now fills your tank faster.
I'm just the opposite. I can play Second Life for hours on end and never have to get up. After holding it for that long, however, the urge hits hard when I finally get up!
I'm slowly turning vegetarian but I'm not there yet. I get protein from beans (as mentioned, and as TSV mentioned can't overeat) and veggie burgers. I'm still only part of the way there, though. I still like to eat chicken, and I just had a burger earlier, though I usually avoid red meat.
The best thing I know to tell you is to look at the labels on foods. Some things you may not expect have protein in them. Good luck, TSV!
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
I have an HP Pavilion dv4165cl, and it doesn't make me smell, even using it directly on my bare lap. It had that "new electronics" smell that I love when I first got it, but that passed quicklym and never left me smelling. Then again, mine doesn't get hot--it has the Centrino deal so it stays cool. When idle, it produces a mere 6 watts of heat which is easily taken away by passive air movement.
Enough ranting. This is just to show that mine doesn't do that.
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
Someone must like me; mine didn't get lamed. Just to set things straight, I didn't do it just to do it. I'm not the sick person some people make me out to be.
Who am I kidding? I lost this one a long time ago. *slinks off to get mental help* _______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
I'm glad I don't fly. I do vaguely remember, however, flying when I was a really little kid (4 years or younger). There was this little tiny box with a waterless bowl in it. I don't understand how anyone could poop in there.
Hopefully someone cleaned out the toilet and no one suspected you of any more than just pooping. I'm glad you made it back just fine without any more trouble than the mess and smell.
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
I think that, if anything, the Asians have it right. I believe squatting is the most natural position for taking a dump. For peeing, yes, I think standing is best for both sexes.
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
One way you can get out of this is to look for other forms of income on the side, and gradually build upon them until you have enough outside sources that your are only working 10 hours a week, or even less.
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
Isn't that blender the kind that adds air to food to whip it up, though? Either way, it'd hurt a lot, and I wouldn't be willing to risk the subsequent damage from putting my gut in a blender... or vice-versa...
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
Boomerang, I don't know about others, but I'm not accusing you of having anything like that. It's just that some people want pictures like that, and I couldn't see why you'd have them.
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
That is very, very disturbing. Since I've gotten older, I've grown to like my sister, but in a friendly way, NOT like that! Why would anyone (who isn't nudist) have naked pictures of their family? For crying out loud, try Google or a p2p program!
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
I never went so far as to call her an asshole. I just said that she shouldn't have punished the dog. Her dog gave her plenty of warning before she ended up not being able to hold it anymore.
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
I just always grab some TP to use to open the door. I really love it when I get to use a restroom with doors that open out (kick them open) or the doorless ones with twisted tunnels leading to the 'room.
I never thought of the napkins. I'm gonna have to start doing that!
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
Actually, Sam, I don't eat chips. Sometimes I'll eat fries (I guess they are chips in Europe though), but not very often, and they don't cause problems.
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
At the dollar store I used to work at, the toilet was in the back and only maybe two customers a week would ever ask to use it, so the manager knew it was one of us when it got Upper Deckered. No, it wasn't me, but I would have done it sooner had I thought of it. That manager was terrible.
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
Dyson is a genius in my opinion too. I'd love to actually get a chance to use one of his products.
FP, it looks to me like a common diagram of a hair follicle.
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
I wouldn't have punished the dog for your own neglect--it was you who didn't take her out. She gave you warnings before finally having to let loose when she couldn't hold it anymore.
Blaming it on the dog, like I read above, is definitely some kind of sport. I bet it was rough having to scoop your own poo! As long as your husband doesn't read poopreport, your secret is safe with us.
_______ I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.
You can come too, Thunderbox. In fact, I wish more people would use the chat box. It's better than nothing. I'd rather everyone IM me, but it seems no one is going to!
Since I'm off tomorrow, I'm taking a laxative after class this evening. And then more later. I wanna get totally cleared out. I'm Shameless now, so it won't be a problem when I have my blowout.
I like this one mainly because I can identify it. Yes, the writing style could be better, but it touches me inside. I remember holding it for a whole week during summer camp. I remember how I felt that Friday when Dad came to take me home. I remember the relief of a good poop and a long bath. This means a lot more to me than just the quality of the article itself.
My first story was kind of sucky too, ShameFul. You'll get better as you're around more. No need to worry.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE HAVE TO TYPE LIKE THIS. SURE, IT GETS YOU NOTICED, BUT IT ALSO MAKES ME NOT WANT TO READ YOUR MESSAGE. PLEASE TYPE NORMALLY LIKE THE REST OF US AND I'LL CONSIDER BEING NICE AND READING YOUR MESSAGE WITHOUT FLAMING IT.
"...eliminating that water wasting double flush" Eeek! They want to get rid of me and my signature double flush! Noooo!
Even with that, I'd still like to give that thing a try. My old toilet really needs some help, and plungers don't always do the job. Toiletta might just be what I'm looking for.
While it's always a great idea to care, sometimes you might see things that aren't so bad. For example, I had little white balls in my poop, but then I figured they were seeds from the okra I ate the evening before. AFter that one time, I didn't have them again.
David, I feel bad for you. All I know to tell you is to try Motherload's advice. What works best for me, though it's slow, is to just get over the illnesses/infections however I need to, and then take time to re-stabilize. Hopefully in a week or two you will feel better. Good luck, David!
Poor kid already has enough problems waiting for her before she even knows what's going on, just because her parents are celebrities. It would be much better if they could flush the poop like normal people and get on with the next thing in their lives.
Call me crazy, but I think some version of the old outhouse would be really good. All you have is a hole--no pipes to clog, no bowl to overfill, just a hole. It doesn't clog or make a mess. It's too bad there isn't some way to have a simple hole like that inside the house without having the smells that come with it. Simplicity can be very brilliant, while at the same time it sometimes stinks.
That's certainly a new one on me. If I see blood, I can be sure it's just a fissure since it bleeds on and off rather than all the time. It sounds to me like your ring is trying to close around something that's in the way. You should definitely get it checked out before things get any worse.
Well, since this one is derailed already, I'll answer that. I started smoking cigars just out of curiosity (the flavored ones smelled SO good), then it became a social thing, and now I'm addicted. I am legally old enough to buy and smoke them, and so was I when I started. Since I am 19, I can't see why it shouldn't be my choice whether to smoke or not.
Bunga, I AM hooked. I smoked at NCSU. I just can't smoke here. I haven't had one in over a month and it's driving me mad. Don't worry; I'm going no farther than smoking. I don't want any drugs at all outside of a good cigar.
Burning stuff is fine, but they don't want me smoking because I guess it's to taboo for them or something. I don't see why anyone should care, but I'd never hear the end of it if there was so much as one unlit smoke anywhere on or near me.
I like the different methods for washing the shoes, though I wonder if the smell would stick or not after that.
Honestly, I'd burn the shoes and get new ones. My older ones do tend to smell a little bit, but not like unwashable dog poop. It's definitely time for new ones.
Welcome back, The Shit Volcano! We all missed you so much!
I've too noticed that things are getting negative, and I must confess I have taken part in it, though I'm still looking to keep it on the topic of toilet humor. And, as for the flame wars, we have a forum for that.
I can think of two scenarios, neither of which I can really write much about. So, anyway, here goes nothin'...
1) Dave is on the toilet minding his own business when a large poop rips him a new one. Some poop gets in the tear and it makes him sick, causing his slow and agonizing death.
2) Some lamer who can't take a little poop humor or someone Dave pissed off somehow plots against Dave, hunts him down, and murders him.
Well, non parlez vous Français much, so I must post in English as well. I'm mostly fine with how the US is going, but at the same time are are a lot of things I disagree with too. As for the "self-hating American," yep. However, it's my own fault that I don't get off my fat ass and do something, not the rest of the country's. At the same time, I have no say in the FCC, FDA, or other government stuff outside of my one vote out of who knows how many. At least there's that, and it makes me feel better when a lot of like-minded people vote for the same people or ideas.
You are all entitled to your opinion. PoopReport is based in the US afaik, and here you can say whatever you want using any media you like. Don't feel like you can't say what you're thinking on the site. Just one thing, it might fit better in our Flames forum than on the front page(s). As much as I've seen fly on this particular page, I'm still willing to see more opinions.
I agree that this is just too far. It's ridiculous. Millions of "normal" kids are embarrassed enough just by baby pictures alone. This poor kid has more pictures than the rest of us, her celebrity parents, and her own poop to embarrass her. Her parents have ruined her life for her before she was even able to get a chance to do something for herself. Poor kid.
It's alright, daphne. I had to settle for a moment before I could say something without flaming Dubya. Also, I think I need to go with a new name (I like Flushy and DF), because Dubya looks too much like Dufya and I get confused!
Wait, hold up. Why would it be navy.mil.com? An actual Navy email would be yourname@navy.mil, just like NCSU is yourname@ncsu.edu and not yourname@ncsu.edu.com. However, www.mil.com looks like a legitimate source on government information at first look, but I haven't looked too deeply yet.
SamDamnit!, you can use your grease gun on CEP and yourself if you so desire. Fleet is a brand name for suppositories and enemas that you can find at most stores--even Dollar General carries Fleet. Anonymous8, try squirting in an enema and holding it for about 5 minutes or so (it's hard to sometimes).
"even though the goal here in your digestive plant is to actually produce a piece of shit, it should be some good shit." This part made me laugh. Thanks Mrs. Load! (yes I do know she is married)
You did a really awesome job on this--it makes things a lot easier to take in. However, I was wondering-without my gallbladder, could I eat fats and not get fatter?
Flushy/Dufya/DF/(got other names for him?) remembers lots of things of that nature, yet he can't remember what he needs ti know for class, nor can he remember not to refer to himself in 3rd person. Flushy is glad to make you feel good, SamDamnit!.
I don't wash my hands after using the toilet. I don't get pee or poop on them. If you do wash your hands, that's probably better for you, though I feel like being on the dirty side has made me stronger. I'm one of those who doesn't get very clean, yet I hardly ever get sick. But when I do get sick, I get REALLY sick. Maybe I need to start washing my hands.
_______ Around here, our women poop, and it stinks too.
People have penises and vulvas and that's that. If you see one, so what? I think the guys who are scared of seeing penises are in-the-closet gays or homophobes. I'll openly admit I find the human body to be a stunning work of art (though some of us are more stunning than others) and you shouldn't be so afraid of seeing your own kind.
_______ Around here, our women poop, and it stinks too.
In my IMs and with people I know, I've answered a lot of sex related questions. No one has had a problem with my answers, so I must be doing something right...
_______ Around here, our women poop, and it stinks too.
Well Andree, I don't like KFC either. There are local places I like (Smithfield's, a small chain in eastern NC, and a place in Clinton, NC called Souther Style), and I also like Bojangle's. I can't speak for them all, but the KFC in Clinton is not somewhere I want to be, and I'm a pretty big guy.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Some parents put their kids in ballet classes to teach them balance, flexibility, etc. I think it's a load of bullshit, but you are welcome to take it however you like.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
The Upper Decker is awful, sharty. I think that should've been an option. I've had enough trouble of my own with a particularly large logjam in my own bowl, and an Upper Decker is the last thing I want at this point.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
After a particularly large poop, sometimes it does stay open. As the unofficial resident sexpert, I can tell you that your hole does stay loose and open for a while after stretching it, but it will shrink back. Maybe this is what you are experiencing.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I agree 100%, CC. If someone gives of himself/herself like that, why should they have to give up everything else too? If nothing else, they should get more. Sure, they get paid and they get help paying for everything else, but still, shouldn't they at least get to do what they need to when they need to? Pooping is one of our basic needs, and it should be a basic right for EVERYONE to be able to start and finish a poop in peace.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I agree with Motherload. I've seen for myself that my poop definitely indicates changes. Dave is right too. I have floaters, sinkers, LiquiShit(most of the time), and lots of stuff in between, and I don't even care. My body itself really isn't changing all that much. I'm still fat and about the same weight all the time, and my overall feeling is the same. I must be doing something right; I'm maintaining well.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
LOL Thunderbox. That was a typo. I do most things right handed but can use either hand if I so desire. And, to answer your question, I masturbate with either hand.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I would expect your stomach acid would break it up, making it into shit soup or puke diarrhea--again, not a pretty picture. South Park is a really good show in my opinion, but some things that they portray are obviously fake.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I've noticed that in the small area where I live (the one away from Raleigh, just moved back), it is "oodles of noodles." But go just a little bit away from here and it is "ramen noodles" or "ramen noodle soup." So weird.
Dare I add to the festering pot of crap and say I only eat burgers every now and then. Once a month, if that. I generally eat a vegetarian diet plus chicken, seafood, and bacon. Every now and then I will eat beef; this is a fairly rare occurance though. That said, I'm still obese. I am 6 ft tall and weigh about 250 lbs. I wear size 38 jeans that I stuff my butt into, and my belly hangs over the front. Surely it isn't my diet. It's probably my American "Why do it if you don't have to?" way of thinking.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
That's quite an awesome bit of pooetry there, Anonymous Coward! it's a great addition to the other works here. Have you considered registering? You're a great writer; we'd love to have you aboard.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Let it be known to all that on this day I am officially declaring myself Shameless! Just earlier I marched myself in the bathroom where others were. My usual toilet, the handicrapper, was taken. I proceeded to go into the stall with no toilet seat or locking door, dropped trou, let a noisy explosive shit, and made all the noise I wanted unrolling the cheap 1-ply. I counted down and flushed, then said "aww crap" and flushed again, just for effect. I took a chance and went shameless, and it felt good! SHAMEFULNESS NO MORE! DUFYA IS FREE!
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Though crapping yourself is a routine story, this one is different and I like it, and it's a great first story. Welcome to poopreport!
On the buses on my high school, anything left on the seats would have stayed there. The buses were swept out everyday, but anything not on the floor was left where it was. My favorite seat on the bus was the one right by the door; I'm not sure why. I do remember though that it allowed me a little more room for my long legs. Once I turned 16, I drove and have never ridden a school bus since. But some crazy things happen on NCSU's Wolfline buses (like a city bus system but for campus).
Not a poop story, but I remember in 5th grade I peed myself and then had to ride the bus home. Luckily I was able to hide it with a shirt tied around my waist, but I still left a wet spot on the bus. For those of you who do the forum thing, I'll make a short PeeReport out of this.
Again, welcome to poopreport, girls dont poo.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Regrading the shampoo ingreditnes, I like to stand in the shower and read the bottles and pronounce all the words, which is why I can pronounce them all now pretty well. For those interested, here are the ingredients of Garnier Fructis fortifying anti-dandruff shampoo, as per the label: Pyrithione zinc, water, sodium laureth sulfate, cocamidopropyl betaine, dimethicone, cetyl alcohol, hydroxystearyl cetyl ether, sodium chloride, cocamide mipa, pyrus malus (apple) fruit extract, fragrance, carbomer, sodium methylparaben, DMDM hydantoin, niacinamide, pyridoxine HCl, propylene glycol, saccharum officinarum (sugar cane) extract, phenoxyethanol, methylparaben, ethylparaben, butylparaben, isobutylparaben, propylparaben, citrus medica limonium (lemon) peel extract, camellia sinesis leaf extract. I do remember some really really long M words on other shampoo bottles; anyone willing to dig those up? Also, one on Coast body wash that stands out is wheat germamidopropyldimonium hydroxypropyl hydrolized wheat protein. Yay big words I can pronounce!
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Wow, DungDaddy, that sounds like loads of fun. Just don't get caught by the wrong people, or they might waste their time searching you just to find innocence!
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
i must also say this isn't your best work, but it does interest me because I lived in a USA apartment near Frankfurt for a couple of years while my dad was in the army. I remember that for my 3rd birthday I got my own German beer mug.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
The Dumpster said: In fact, how about "Comments that Brownnose Anybody Ahead of You"?"
I can dig up some posts like that for myself too, so I like it. Some people need to get posting because I really don't want to end up just under The Dumpster... at least not so soon.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Gaseous G: I don't let it stay there and fester. I have one of those hand showers that you can aim at anything so as to rinse it off. It simply runs off cleanly right aling with the water. And yes, I'm the only one who uses it. It usually smells like the cleaners I use.
I've been too shameful of my parts to have a peeing contest, but it would be fun to have one from, say, the 7th floor of the building I used to live in...
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
1) I like to pee a distance from the toilet/urinal and write my name on the ground. Also, in the shower, I see how high on the wall I can pee (then rinse it away). 2) None, unless you enjoy shooting LiquiShit out your ass cannon on a regular basis.
I look forward to some others' responses...
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Wow, Motherload. You give us an awesome story with a mini-story later that is just as hilarious! You've just joined us, and I already like you and your kid. Also, your name goes so well with this story. Great job!!
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I'm odd too. I write and wipe left handed, but I can do most things left handed. The only think I really can't do left handed is throw a ball or write. Other than that, either hand is good. Also, I've noticed my dominant typing hand is the left.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I don't have IBS, or so I believe, but I have noticed that certain foods affect me like that too. Anything "Mexican" runs right through me, while he Chinese buffet gives me mad gas and Japanese food just makes me feel full. On top of all this, foods high in grease content seem to slide right on through. Seems grease is a nice lube for the guts or something.
Not to harp on the points system, but this one will give me 666 points. AAAAH! Someome please post something I can reply to ASAP so I'm no longer evil!
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Not happening for me. There is no White Castle within 50 miles of 27607. In fact, the closest one is in Nashville. I ain't drivin' to Nashville just for gnarly poop.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Those ideas make good sense to me. Also, with moving a lot, could some of the air in the house travel up your butt? On top of that, might you swallow some of the air there?
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Girls bathing suits don't have legs on them, so they are pretty easy to do like that. I've seen girls go off in the distance, pull it aside, squat and pee, then come back. With shorts, however, you might not be able to pull them aside so easily because of the extra material for the legs. It would get all bunched up and wouldn't be willing to move aside.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I hardly watch TV anymore. I have your basic antenna, connected through a chain of RF adapters for game consoles. The games are mainly what I use the TV for. However, if I had cable and a TV card in my PC, I might use the PC as a DVR.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I'm all for the upper decker! The point is that the victim flushes and gets an inrush of shit to the bowl instead of water, possibly through two or three flushes. The best part of it all is their reaction. If nothing else, it can create total confusion for the victim, knowing he or she flushed and yet the toilet is full of poop. Also, if the poop is chunky, it might clog some of the holes that water flows through into the bowl. And it smells really bad. If someone upper-deckered me, I'd HAVE to get them back. After getting over the initial shock and anger.
And for the BMW deal--I'd rather get a stable job with good pay and THEN go and buy a brand new black Lexus with everything on it.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Or maybe she's marvelling over your bathroom, TBW. I know I am.
This is just proof that women do shit. It really sucks that these women got food poisoning, but I'm glad they were able to get over it and that the pageant could continue.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Oh! I gotta add something. ANY soft drink whatsoever in eastern North Carolina is "co-cola." Any of them. Does anyone else know where being "in the short rows" comes from? I do. I also understand the concept of peanuts and Pepsi.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
GGG--Yes, same goes for most bathrooms, but the one in this dorm is set up really weird. Perhaps I can get pictures some time.
At the moment, the handicrapper is the only desirable one, even though today it sports a new sign (might take a picture if requested). The other two don't have a toilet seat or don't lock.
I have no problem with the handicrapper being higher, because I have long legs anyway. As for dangling, Dumpster, I just try to be careful with that.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
TBW quotes moms' overused line: "Always wear clean underwear because you never know when you might be in an accident."
I never understood this. If I'm in an accident, chances are I'm either going to make in my pants or end up getting bloody. On top of that, emergency crews don't care either way, they've seen MUCH worse things than dirty underwear. Chances are, if it's serious, there are worse things on you to see. Does anyone understand why mothers across the country use this line?
Back to the topic. I've never been in an airport bathroom that I remember. I was really young when I flew, and I only recall a few fleeting glimpses of being on the plane itself. I still think it's an awesome idea to make airport restrooms, or any for that matter, bigger and cleaner. At a busy place like an airport, there needs to be the capacity for everyone to be able to get in and out quickly, and it should be clean too, because everyone has a right not to have to wade through another's filth. This is a very great gesture by the airports.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I usually go for the handicrapper. I'm not sure why. I suppose it's habit, as you mentioned. Also it's the first stall one comes to upon entering, and there is a view of the door through the cracks in the stall. I'm a Shameful Shitter, and this allows me to watch when people leave so I know I can get on with business.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
True, GGG, but it really annoys me when the roll is squashed and I can't roll it myself! Back when I had my two cats, I just installed it backwards, and everything was fine. The cats were declawed (which I completely disagree with, but not my choice), so the paper wasn't damaged by its "flipflipflipping."
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Welcome to PoopReport My Pink Button! I read your blog when it was linked a while ago, and I got absorbed into it. You have such an interesting story, and at the same time I feel bad for you. It makes me feel so grateful that my guts still work fine. It's too bad I don't remember when I was a baby and had to have a section of my intestine removed due to some sort of blockage. All I have to remind me of it is a large scar across my tummy.
I don't see a gross factor, because nothing is gross to me when it's merely a discussion. I'm happy that you can still live life the same way as before, aside from a B.M.
Happy PoopReporting! I'm sure you'll be a great addition to our community here.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I've tried to find where the storm drains around here go to (though they are makred for some lake or river), but have never made it to the outlets. It would be lots of fun to crawl inside a storm drain outlet, granted it isn't raining, and have a look. Just remember the one urbex rule--leave nothing but your footprints.
Also, I'm not mad or anything, but I'd like to note that I'm 19. Not young enough to be a kid, not experienced enough to have any sense in my head.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Women can also pee standing without the use of such a device. I leave it up to you to find the instructions, so as to not so prominently show my fetish.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I stand nearly straight (I have bad posture) and put one foot up on the toilet, then reach in to wipe. It's a lot better that way than plain standing, and I can't reach sitting unless I go in from the front.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
There are Sonic restaurants here in NC too. While a little bit expensive sometimes, they have really great food. Also, I like the carhops who roll out on skates to your car. That's just awesome.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I'm a little like GGG. I always have Wikipedia ready to go. Some articles there are skewed/slanted, but usually I can get the information I want. If that doesn't work, well we've all seen the Google bar in Firefox.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
Totally laptop! In fact, I'm on the toilet spewing LiquiShit as I type this! With WiFi and the Internet, i never have to read the same thing again. I'm usually at PoopReport though.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I really dislike my roomate. Luckily it's only a 5 week session for him. I get rid of him at 9am in the morning. Boy am I ready for that. Had it been a regular semester, I would have moved by now.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I'd have to say bar/club on this one. Though I've never actually been to one, I'm sure they NEVER take care of those things. The rest I can and have handled. Thank goodness I'm able to pee standing! Maybe some of the ladies could take a lesson from TSV. Why? See above...
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I stand and reach around, wiping from the anus up, away from my bits. It's really not recommended to wipe back to front, especially for women. You don't want all those bacteria in your vagina or your bladder!
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I missed the stoolstice, but I just pooped a few minutes ago and it was mostly solid pieces, which is unusual for me. Lunch yesterday was buffalo wings, so it was a spicy poop. Of course, being in Raleigh, you can often hear sirens. Hearing sirens during my spicy poop immediately made me think of PoopReport. Too bad I couldn't make a good poop story out of that!
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
At least the shifter didn't enter your rectum! THAT would have been so much worse. My car is automatic but still has the shifter in the center console, so I can still understand... sort of.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
So far I'm aware of I believe two people who have their period now. At least now I know your cycle! OK, so I'm kidding.
I was planning to poop at 8:26am, when the official Solstice was at Raleigh, but I slept through that. I had little to eat today, and I have not pooped all day. Sorry to disappoint.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
I just remembered my half-aunt (REALLY ****ed up family I have) is a CNA, which means she did all the little jobs no one else wanted to do. In the nursing home she worked in, she ended up stepping on poopy diapers and being pooped on on a daily basis. She would come home and immediately shower, and I don't blame her one bit. She even had plastic in her car to protect it from the old people's poop.
_______ "Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus
How would you identify your turd amongst all the others in a porta-potty? Also, I kida wished you would have gone for it. We might have gotten another good "shit myself in the car" poop story out of it.
Sloan's Flushmate (the toilet with the motor in it in the ads) works pretty well, probably due to how it is pressurized. I've tried one and kinda liked it. Not as good as a flushometer though.
Dumpster, you are CHEATING my signature double flush!
Shoving something up your ass doesn't make you gay, unless it's another guy's penis you are shoving. And, on top of that, you wanted it. That's gay. Using just random objects isn't.
Emergency people deal with some crazy stuff sometimes. I'm sure they could tell us hundreds of stories if only we were there to listen
Trust me, there are people that go far worse than this. This story is very believable to me. I feel for you and the other people who had to deal with that insane guy. Great effort, I say, and great story.
Grogan, sorry to be like this, but I'm a spelling stickler, and it's "thermos". Thank you.
Anyway, back to the point. Just ask a friend who is in any emergency service and they can probably tell you some of the insane people they deal with, as well as some of the Code Browns they get.
And allow me to make Sloan Valve Co. richer by installing their flushometers on my toilets instead of the dreaded tank. I hate water saving toilets. They never flush right.
Dare I ask (rather afraid to)... wouldn't a meatless chicken look really really weird? And isn't that an oxymoron of sorts?
"reach out of the bowl and hand you the toilet paper itself." Now I truly question what you eat and what leaves your body. It's alive? Or simply just big enough, yet dead?
Yeah yeah, lame jokes, but it's 6am and I'm wired. Yay coffee!
Seriously though, a meatless meal or three causes a lot of weird stuff to happen to my poop.
I still have lots to say, probably a bit too much. 'Tis why I lurk in the forums more now. I guess I'm the one AB2K enjoys watching. Eventually I'll calm down too (I'm starting to) but I strongly doubt I will stop coming around.
Sorry, GGG, I disagree with you. While the story mentions rednecks, I think we've taken it a bit too far derailed this topic. What do you say we take it to the forums where we can really let loose?
You can kinda tell by people's styles sometimes who they were before registering. Just like I can pick out a few "Anonymous Coward" ones of my own before registering.
--2 kinda off topic things--
Heh heh... 2 more points will get you back up to the sidebar, KOC. I have faith. But then Poop Shooter goes.
So who's a witch here? I can sort of say I am too, though I'm more into the "one with nature" and "harm none" part of Wicca than The Craft. I can still give it a whirl, though I'd look odd casting a circle on campus...
I'm not so sure I'd be interested in a pooping contest. While I am interested in getting involved with PoopReport so long as I'm not totally committed, that's one thing that I wouldn't participate in. Sorry, supercloged. You're welcome to try other people though. It might come out really interesting.
And, Miss Pance, at the moment you have 243 points to go before you hit the highest users box, and 265 before you catch me. I wish you luck. I did it in 6 weeks, you can too. Let's take it to the forums if you want to talk more.
Well, it's more like this. If you piss off a black guy, and he shouts something like "DAMN CRACKER!" you just have to grin and bear it. If he hears you mention the word "nigger" in any context, he'll "busta cap in yo' ass" and that's pretty much why all you white guys can;t say it. Hmm? Am I right? Who can back me up on this?
Yeah Thunderbox, I always pee just before or while pooping. On the off chance I have to hover (i.e. gas station with shit caked on the seat, and this poll is in a situation where you cant hold it anymore) I pee standing first, then drop trou and do what needs to be done. I can only think of two times when this has ever come up, and I had to stand up between pushes to regain leg strength. That alone made it a million wiper for the already clogged toilet.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
If I'm taking a shower, I pee in there, but I don't pee in the shower if I'm not showering. I have a sink in my dorm and I hate the communal bathrooms, so I'll use the sink if my roommate isn't here. Besides, it rinses away, no harm done.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
That was my own rant, Miss Pance, and I realize it was off topic. I just don't have the inhibition it takes to shut up when I need to. Perhaps I shall flame the flaming forum sometime next time I feel fed up.
As far as the redneck/white trash deal goes, I could tell the difference if they were to be near me, but I couldn't describe them here. And so goes the story of my life... but I digress. Hopefully someone can set it straight in simple terms once and for all.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
Swallowing gum does not make you sick (unless it's scraped off the underside of a table), does not make your boobs bigger, does not hang around, and does not give you bubble farts. It is simply passed harmlessly whenever you take a dump. If gun worries you that much, see GottaGoGirl's comment above this one.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
Sorry, but I find it ridiculous that white people(cr*ckers/h*nkys) can't call an Asian a ch*nk or a black dude a ni**er or a Mexican a be*ner or a w*tback, yet any other races can let slurs fly. It's ridiculous. A black guy can call me a cracker, but one foul word out of my mouth and I get beat up or shot. We have a serious problem here.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
Seriously, this does not necessarily mean abuse. I'm an (almost) normal guy and I'll hold it for a little bit if I'm doing something interesting or if I'm in a particularly juicy part of class. When I was younger, I held it and some of it would inevitably end up in my pants, though I would go and take care of business before it got to the point that it became too unhealthy. I was never sexually abused until age 17, and my parents didn't mistreat me. It arose out of my own mind. I don't know what the case is for others, but I figured I'd add some of my own personal experience to the mix.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
Sorry Miss Pance and Miss GGG, but Taco Bell always becomes Taco Hell. What you see in "This Old Toilet" is usually the case, but sometimes there is paper there.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
Being a redneck simply means "a glorious absence of sophistication" --quoth Jeff Foxworthy. As for white trash, I imagine your tyoical trailer trash, hounds and kids running rampant, beer cans all over, etc. However, having "a home that is mobile and 14 cars that aren't" (Foxworthy) would be redneck.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
I've heard myself of kids peeing right there in the room after not being allowed to leave and use the toilet, just because some kids have absolutely no respect anymore. I'm almost worried about what will come of the world when these kids grow up.
Also, in middle school, guys would get impatient waiting for a urinal and would go in the sinks or, more commonly, try to hit the drain in the middle of the floor. In full view of all the other guys, too, mind you. I'd simply wait for a urinal while [namelss] and [unnamed] would whip it out and hit the drain.
I agree that teachers are underpaid. They are paid so little, yet they have to put up with some of the worst things sometimes. I'm completely sure I don't have the patience to work at a school, other than being a network administrator for a county school system or something.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
--WAY off topic!--
Well Bunga, I don't believe we've met yet, so... HI! :-D I don't believe I was registered last time you came about (unless it was at the beginning of my time), and now I'm on the lil sidebar featuring higest users. Just to tell you how long you've been gone. I've been a guest for a long time and I miss you.
And check out Bunga On The Pot, which features none other than yourself.
I think it's only fair that this guy be given a full trial, complete with judge and jury.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
Come on, man, don't do that to him. Or at least wait until he gets through college at least part of the way. Believe me, there is still stuff you can get regardless of who you are. There is a plethora of scholarship options, mostly essay contests (and I'm a sorry writer!), plus grants and loans you can apply for. By the time Little Dumpster gets to college, there'll be even more, so no need to worry.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
Luckily I have always been able to give a few seconds to wiping, in the case that there is something visible on the seat. Maybe one day I will be where I don't have a choice. But yeah, 3flusher, I can see how sometimes you just need to go as soon as you get there or you're going to get your pants full of shit.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
Yup, I figured it was that darned media again. I gotta stop watching television. I don't understand your liquor store analogy, but I do get your main point there.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
Dumpster, I am not questioning your age, but I've noticed that lots has changed in the one year I have been here at NCSU. Maybe it's just a year for change. Maybe it's always like this. I don't know. Anyway, there are options galore if you ain't white with parents with jobs.
_______ Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.
LOL @ college thing. There are lots of special financial aid programs for everyone except my breed, it seems. So there's probably a chance that you could use that to your advantage.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
I can hover sometimes if i really need to, but I'm not used to it and my legs can't always hold me up like that for very long, especially after a particularly lengthy walk, i.e. walking around all of campus out of pure boredom.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
That doesn't sound like too bad a punishment (from an abuse or overkill standpoint), and it sounds like it was enough to get into your head. That's the point anyway, right? And no, making car sounds is not quiet. I had that same problem, heh heh.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
Yup, there's a difference in hardcore rednecks and trailer trash, but there are some similarities too. I tink they both need to be sterilized so they won't reproduce and clog up our hotels and create situatiojs like these. Yeah, I said it. At least most people I know try to act decent and leave the room as it was when they got there, meaning sans-poop, curtains and pictures still on the wall, shades still on the lamps, etc.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
misunderstood, probably from reading too fast, and because my roomate's music at 10,000dB is doing more than just noticeably affecting my hearing. Anyway, I'd be suing the guy who shot me due to his improper storage of the gun, as it was his fault, rather than anyone he is affiliated with.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
So, Dumpster, you're--nope. Not gonna say it. Anyway, I agree that either more decent people should be let in or that the rooms should be lined in plastic and have the pool closed, etc. Maybe I'm going a little too far. Then again, do I really want redneck poop all over my hotel?
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
See? CEP knows what I'm talkin' about too. And I appreciate him for that. As for the fence reference, I was referring to those of the Latino heritage. There seem to be lots of them southeast of here...
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
Someone in one of the bathrooms here (the one that keeps getting abused) apparently was piss drunk and puked on the floor and walls Friday night, only for it to sit there festering until the hazmat team could come in this morning. The nice ladies who normally go in there have no reason to have to clean that up. They have done nothing bad to us whatsoever. Infact we probably owe them more than the fees we pay.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
Dumpster that is a GOOD question? So does anyone here (including guests--you can post too) work for Taco Hell?
I'm pretty sure they don't want to eat something they deal with all day. I worked in a dollar store and would go elsewhere to buy the same stuff. Weird.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
Sorry Jared, this is PoopReport and not Myth Busters. This is just a topic about Myth Busters. It's too bad I'm not them, really. I'd love to bloe something up every episode!
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
I just thought I'd bring this story back. Looks like I've found another story of mine, added as a comment. I'd say this is *unoffially* my first PR story. Critique is welcome.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
I'm 19 and don't understand the thing about poop getting smaller. My huge ones are why I have to double flush to start with. And I have no problem going by Dufya as long as I am not associated with politicians.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
-off topic-
I know my car will do 90 and I believe it can probably go faster. It'd be interesting to measure the speed of poop when it is rocketing out, such as explosive diarrhea.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
Maybe soom you'll get to see the nice art I made to make donations to Dave a little more attractive. It ain't perfect, but I'd say it looks pretty good, especially considering my low level of skills. I gave it a shot, though.
_______ I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.
Believe me, there are some VERY obscene things said on cable. Just watch one of Comedy Central's "Secret Stash" movies. You can see them Friday night/Saturday morning at 1am.
TSV is right. Anyone has a right to display or not display what they wish (freedom of speech/freedom of press), and it's just flat-out wrong to doscriminate on those terms. It sickens me! Just because a business's ads don't bear the symbol of the fish doesn't make them any worse, nor does the symbol make a business better. It's all in the people themselves. For goodness's sake, people, don't be so anal about some symbol and just live your lives!
Waffle House, at least around here, is highly casual and has no atmosphere. The food is edible, which is why I even go. I have not been in any Waffle House men's rooms that I can recall.
I'll drive a pickup to haul garbage to the dump or take something huge somewhere. Any other time it's my sedan or one of my parents' SUVs. I don't go near my sister's Mustang because I hate that care with a passion. Yeah, 5 vehicles. We are NOT rich. Don't ask me how.
... and what about cigars? Do they smell and taste good, at least?
It's because we rebuilt that '95 motor ourselves rather than the "proper" way to make it fit in the '88 body. It still runs, it's powerful, and it's LOUD. Other than the bad mileage, it's definitely a man's truck.
Mom has step parents in Kentucky, and my dad grew up in Kentucky, so I've been a few times. There are a few things to see and do, but not all that much that appeals to me.
Here in the sough, people love Chevy and hate Ford, or vice versa. My family shares a '88 S10 with a V6 in it from a '95 Chevy cargo van. It gets ~7mpg but it's a really good truck. My car is about 25 or so, so it's driveable.
I think that the fish thing is completely ridiculous. What about those, like me, who aren't Christian? It just doesn't make any sense, and I think... dare I say it... I think it's really stupid.
Have you driven a Toyota lately? They are more or less a feature-stripped Lexus. My mom has a 2005 4Runner, and it rides and drives great! I can only imagine that a feature-loaded Lexus can only be better.
Kitty Roca is a lot less severe than what hazmat teams sometimes have to deal with. As for security, you'd think they would at least check IDs or something. Seriously, a scribbled piece of paper could get to anyone, allowing them back in.
Everyone and everything is subject to opinions they may or may not disagree with. It just happens. There is nothing that everyone thinks the same thing about.
Not to look too defensive here, but I try to be considerate and not leave a big mess. 'Tis why I double flush in the first place. No need to leave a lingering mess for someone else. I agree with Dumpie (don't attack me, others use that name) that there is a lot of irresponsibility showing up here. I suppose you get some of that when you have a web site featuring all sorts of people from all walks of life with different standards and such.
The food on loan line sticks with me too. If you look at it this way, we are little more than machines to take in food, deprive it of nutrients, and churn out poop. It's what we do all the time.
-slightly off topic, but related-
I had a mullet in high school but it's been cut off since then. I drive a '01 Chevrolet Malibu, but I definitely woudl't pass up a huge black Lexus SUV with everything in/on it. Despise me as you will.
Watch out, Anonymous. Some people will jump on you for talking politics like that. Everyone likes or dislikes my view, because I think ALL politicians are full of shit.
So anyways... I think a really awesome urbex (urban exploration) journey would be to follow the sewer tunnels from a neighborhood down to the poop plant.
Is Bilbepump going to arrest me? I don't have money to send to him...
Though I have no authority so to speak, I've snuck past security a time or two. I felt guilty, as I have anxiety, but I did no harm and no one bothered me.
Seriously, though. Usually just try a little and you can get right past security. Keep in mind that trying to be sneaky is usually what gets you caught. Just be straightforward and matter-of-fact and you'll be thought of as just another person, rather than someone trying to infiltrate.
Yeah, I'm not always the best on wording things right, but I eventually get my point across. I'm glad I could clear it up for you.
I've always sort of thought a Gatorade bottle resembled a penis. I believe that subconsciously, many people are interested in penises in some form or another (just by nature itself) and it comes out here and there in subliminal forms. Occasionally you'll see an explicit form that you know is penis-linked right off the bat. Maybe I know too much about this subject, even though most of it is based on opinion. Plus, the fact that I'm male changes things too.
I really like this series, but sadly i was a little disappointed by this part. I was expecting a shart or something when she grabbed you, and something else with you landing on the car's shifter. Besides that, I'm still entertained, and I look forward to Part 4.
I like cold drinks myself. I am NOT contradicting my above mention of soft drinks sans-ice. Ice machines at eating establishments are usually unsanitary, plus the drinks are made with cold water, so they are cold when they come out anyway.
Meh. I know someone who hit three different deer with a pickup, a van, and a Buick. He wrecked the buick twice and eventually scrapped it. I wouldn't ride with him unless I really had to.
I'm not a kid anymore (haven't been for a while) but sugar still gets me wired. Regardless, I still like double strength Kool-Aid (gallon of water, 4 packs of mix, 2 cups of sugar).
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
I'm from the part of NC that is sand and pine trees. Since moving to Raleigh, the hills are new to me. The mountains are west of here by a few hours.
The uncle is actually my half-uncle. He is my dad's half-brother. I don't really know what all happened. All I know is that their dad (not my grandpa; I disowned hm for trying to have sex with me) slept around with pretty much everyone he met, which totally makes a mess of things. I hear say a lot of others slept around to.
Long story short, in the end I plan to get a new name. By tradition, I get my name from that side of the family, and it's nothing more than a huge black mark on me.
Sorry to wander off topic, but I had to get it out there.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
I recall another event, probably the earliest one that I still remember. My sister had one of those training potties (she is 2 years younger than I am). I really needed to go and I didn't have faith that the toilet could hold it all (Ha!) so I shit in the potty, filling it, before moving to the toilet. Mom was fuming.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
Yay, a new use for my digital camera! I'm willing to participate. Sounds like fun. You get to see before and after the first flush, so you see why I require double flushes.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
That would be really rough for her not being on top. I imagine she'd be next to powerless unless she was to move wildly to get up. Maybe it's best for you both that she was infact on top.
Who am I to say? I've never had sex. Just my two cents.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
Yeah, and I owe some NewsWire posts. I've been really slack lately. So far I'm 22nd (at last count) and I expect to be on the right side of every page in about two and a half weeks. Yay me.
I try to make all (ok, most) of my comments fairly legitimate. Still, I should dig up some poop news for Dave.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
I disagree with how some livestock is raised. I'm not a tree-hugger and I definitely think PETA is stupid (I see them coming for me now), but I do believe in animal welfare. That means I believe animals should be given everything they need to be healthy and reasonably comfortable.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
It just to happens that that was my 400th point and so I put it there. 'tis all. And I'm not fond of Gatorade or similar drinks. Double-strength Kool-Aid is much better. Also I like regular soft drinks and tea, and I drink a lot of plain water.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
Yeah, my family is really rough, but I just don't care. They don't care about who I am or how I'm connected, so neither do I. I'm probably related to people I never knew. I don't care anymore. I have my real parents and that suits me fine.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
I haven't seen Poonurse around in quite a long time. Anyone is free to comment on anything I say. Just for reference, I believe the question referred to is that of my asking how I could be a wipeless pooper. Correct me if I'm wrong.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
There are several reasons I don't want any kids, this included. I still remember what an annoying little rascal I was, and I don't have the patience now to live with younger me. Therefore, no kids. I just want a wife and cats. Hopefully I can find a girl who feels the same, and we and our cats can live happily ever after.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
I fart rather often and always feel wet after. It scares me, so I go and wipe. 90% of the time, it is only sweat, so I've ignored a few real sharts thinking they were sweat, only to go later to wipe the sweat and find brown on the paper.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
I usually poop a few minutes after I eat, so my waiting isn't all that long. Lately I haven't had spicy foods, but I might give something like that a try next time. Also, as I've mentioned before, I'd like to have some sort of makeshift bidet that swivels into place. Maybe I can convince Sloan to invent one that fits their flusher valves...
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
I used to spend a lot of time wearing just my tighty whiteys when I was little. I don't expressly remember pooping in them except for one time. My mom tells me I used to hide in corners and poop when I was just out of diapers. I don't know when I started, but I used to hold it all the time, and I would always get really bad skidmarks. To this day I still hold it, but no more marks.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
Daphne, 6:00 has passed twice and nothing happened, so I feel pretty safe.
AB2K, it's because his father slept around with every woman in Kentucky. I'm not calling him my grandpa because he tried to have sex with me and I disowned him.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
So far I've mainly had problems with individual people rather than higher-ups or groups. Still I keep in mind that if I have a problem, I can (and have) take it straight to the top and fix it at the source. I'd really have to get pissed to have to resort to using poop, though.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
I'm jealous of these people who have wipeless poops. As for pooping being easy, I just push a little bit at first. After that, I push progressively harder, up to red-faced and grabbing the walls pushing as hard as I can. This DOES get more out, even though I know I shouldn't do it. At times I have had small fissures, but just enough to put a few red spots on the paper. I don't know if I could ever make a fast enough poop to be done in a minute or three.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
Well daphne that does make sense. Perhaps he had no time. He did, after all, skip putting on underwear as he was pressed for time in the first place.
Anyone else weirded out by the 06.06.06 thing? It's my uncle's birthday. He's also my second cousin and he used to be satanist. I'm totally weirded out.
_______ If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.
Just figured I'd save you the trouble this time. I'm getting better because I'm remembering things I've seen now that I'm a regular on the site and not an anonymous person that comes here and there.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I say if you dislike something that's fine, but there's no need to bash it or be hateful, i.e. "shame on the poster for boring us with this tripe." Totally not needed. It's fine if you want to say maybe a story wasn't very fulfilling or was just flat-out boring, as this one probably was. Anyway, no need for all that.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I'm interested in cleaning out all the stuff that gets left behind in my guts and kinda hangs around, but I'm very wary of what's out there and try to stay away from medicine outside of a low dose of ibuprofen. What's the best stuff to use?
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I do remember a story related to libraries called My Butt's Favorite". Other than that, I can't think of any. Aren't you guys proud of me for tracking that one down myself instead of someone else doing it?
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I am without inhibition. My "Shut up!" filter only works when I feel like I'm in immediate danger, such as holding back a grunt or scream during a painful poop in the dorm.
TSV (and others!) what do you say we forget washing in the sink or wiping a million and get a bidet? I'd love to rig up, say, a bent copper pipe that fits under the toilet seat that swivels into place to deliver a cool refreshing spray...
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I thought the same thing right after I posted my last comment here. My laptop is just my modern form of a magazine, newspaper, book, etc. Plus, theoretically, I should never run out of new material to read!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Well... guess I should open up again. I know this because I have... *blushes and speaks very softly*... a fetish. Regardless, I think it's really interesting. Thank you Latus Rectum for posting that so I wouldn't have to ad-lib it and look like a sexual predator.
br>_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Whoa, now. Calm down. I never subject the computer to any crap. I put it down, THEN wipe, and wash my hands before grabbing it again. Also you must understand that I am a geek and take it EVERYWHERE with me, except the shower obviously.
Why buy adult stuff in a store when we have PayPal and the Internet? I haven't done it, but plenty of people have.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
There are web sites out there where women can learn to pee standing. I imagine it would be quite a useful skill for times like these. Thank goodness I have that little extra plumbing to work with!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
The ice at restaurants is just nasty. I'm still waiting for GGG's comparison of the ice and the toilets. I usually just get drinks without ice; they are cold when they come out anyway.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I'm assuming the temperature deal is beacuse it is fresh from a 98.6 F body, not an actual measure. The toilets here in my dorm are horrible. Just a few moments ago there was pee all over the floor and on the seats except the handicrapper, which always has paper all over the floor. -sigh- At least I get my old suite back in the fall.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Fried chicken and pork BBQ! We are North Carolina and it's what we're all about! And of course you need all the fixin's, slaw, hush puppies, pork n beans, and lots and lots of cold sweet tea!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Yeah, it's not like that really. I just have problems thinking of the right words and putting them in the right order sometimes. I'm also not the best at conveying the right tone with text sometimes. I'm getting better as time progresses.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Sorry if I had bad wording there. It's the "Lame Comment!" deserving posts that I am blamming, rather than deliberately posting such things myself. I'm not being defensive or anything, just wanted to clear up some confusion. Sometimes I just can't think of the right way to express what I'm thinking. As time goes by, I'm sure it will grow on you, just as my closest friends have learned to get my message through my slightly impaired speech .
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I'd like to see some of these stories, sharty! Send 'em all to Dave. Thank you all (well, most of you) for being supportive. I'm sure as time goes on I'll have better stories to submit. I try to base them on real events, so who knows when something might happen outside my frequent diarrhea? Don't freak out. I'm not ill. I just sometimes get runs after I eat certain things or if I eat too much.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I don't see anything really wrong with this fetish so long as you clean up after. I try to keep an open mind. Then again, keep an open mind and people will throw shit in it.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
The Shit Volcano, I have yet to learn how to score (in that contest). I've never had sex.
The Dumpster, I can almost take care of myself. My parents pay for everything, but beyond that I am pretty much self-sufficient. I believe that out of college and with a full time job I could do just fine. I see your point with people just younger than me being immature. They're the ones that universities send home. Regardless of my low grades, which I am willing to admit, I do believe I am a bit more promising than a lot of people, though most everyone here is pretty good at taking care of themselves. No offense to you others.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
That's an awesome idea, and actually pretty doggone smart! I recall when I was unable to use any toilets, I would go in the woods. It seems nearly impossible to find an article on how to shit in the woods, but e-mail me cause I've done it!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
LOL @ TSV and Dumpster! Might I offer some filler for the gap? You're welcome to come to NCSU and pick it up. Lol.
I'm 19 but I still see the gap. I see two gaps infact, the other being the fact that I can't connect with 9 through 11 year olds, or at least the ones my parents' friends have. That's alright though, come fall the university will be back to full capacity at 35,000+ people.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Sorry to double post but I just thought of this a few minutes later. I didn't have BBQ for Memorial Day. I ate at a good restaurant that never makes me sick. And thanks for the title, Dave!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I don't know how I stumbled upon this wonderful site either. I just remember vaguely going through Google a few years ago and being a guest forever before finally registering. I started churning out poops that always required double flushing and that inspired me to come register.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Cat and dog food are about the grossest looking things. I fondly remember a certain cat food that was revolting to me, yet my black cat loved it. White cat wouldn't eat it, though. SO weird.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
It's bad enough being fat and hairy like I am. Now, I'll admit I'm obese, but I don't have the sweaty smelly folds of skin, nor do I require much extra space. It is enough to make the heat a huge bother, though.
I'm glad I can't get pregnant. I'd either have to suffer more pain in my penis than anyone has ever experienced before, or go through the stress of a C-Section. Not that natural birth isn't stressful. I'm not even sure right now. I'm just hanging out here at PR cause I'd rather be here than other places online right now.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
So, TSV, you are "very pregnant"... there are levels? I know that as you go along, the baby grows larger and your oen life gets less and less easy, but I'l slightly confused even though I think I have the basic idea.
SMcF, I have never passed a stone, but I've heard that it hurts like a sum'bitch when it comes through.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
A really heavy wind can keep smells away, but then Gravy Train style LiquiShit becomes very hard to deal with. I don't totally believe the theory myself that the smell wasn't around. Maybe your point of view(smell) was skewed because the nose lowers its sensitivity to a smell that hangs around it for a while.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
This is a rather interesting story, but I am confused as to how you could wipe decently with your underwear after a shit like Gravy Train. It takes me several wipes if I have been spewing any sort of LiquiShit™.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I'm with Mariacho on this one. Also I trust nothing with a penis. I trust no one because I am paranoid. I do, however, try my luck when I leave my things here with my roomate and whoever he chooses to have over. I wouldn't call it trust trhough, because I always worry about it.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I must say I loved that episode. It's sad that Chef had to die to avoid the Super Adventure Club, but the dying and crapping himself scene was damn funny.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Chocolate milk fixes the burn in my mouth, but it's still spicy when I'm done with it. And I just finished a plate of buffalo wings. I may regret that later, even with my three glasses of chocolate milk.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
If I try to save it, I will explode. The dining hall food gives me the squirts. On another note, usually holding it makes it get hard and huge. I'll try it though, and also I'll try sitting forward. Any little bit helps. Thanks Poop Shooter.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I need to vent. The pot here in my summer dorm is very very sorry. I always get splashback on my ass, my man bits, and my thighs, and they ALWAYS take a double flush. I miss my old dorm, which I plan to go back to in the fall, in the same room even. Those toilets are my very favorite. I'd almost hug them.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
"I'd like to see ducks in shorter shifts." I'd like to see ducks at NCSU's dining halls. Birds do poop a lot and can be dirty some time. I just haven't witnessed ducks. I've been a seagull target numerous times though, because some numbskull across the beach was feeding them cheese puffs.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Actually, most people I know don't actually care to use intensifiers such as "actually". Then again, we are in college rather than a regular town or something. And I actually like it, actually =p.
Anyway, yes, you do have a rather good point. Daphne, I am 19 and haven't totally left the nest yet, so don't count on 18 to be anything big.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I have a little of a fetish myself, but I know where it comes from. All I'm willing to say for explanation is that it's from stuff that happened to young DF.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I just had this thing called Reuben Bake at the dining hall here. Basically it was the bread and everything in a big bugget serving thing and tasted just like a regular reuben. My favorite sandwich is probably a veggie burger though. I'm not even vegetarian (no willpower), but I like them.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I find it to be completely hilarious to be driving my midsize sedan, lock out the windows, and let one. The smell doesn't bother me but everyone else gets their share. It's perfect for revenge if people piss me off. Offer them a ride and then it's sweet revenge.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Ouch, my wiener hurts just thinking of that!!! I imagine the shells were placed there purely to make viewers wonder WTF they really were for. If I had to guess how they wiped, I would hope they all had bidets or something even more effective, like the microwave mentioned above.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Allenflx, feel free to register with us. Also, look around a but and you will see some really good stuff. Also, I don't discriminate based on age. I'm 19 myself.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Sorry, Anonymous Coward, but the proper spelling is "inflammation." Also, people, please try to stay on topic. I wouldn't be surprised for a lot of these posts to be deleted, this one included. Seems lately a lot of our stories have been "How to derail a list of comments"
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Wow, TSV, you said it! I'm especially tired of stereotypes and religion. I have a penis, but I'm still sick of seeing non-white, non-penis owners being hated. "THEY ARE TOO BUSY SPOUTING IT"--You hit the nail on the head. Sorry to be off topic but this is probably the best opionionated thing I have read in a very long time. Go TSV.
...Don't ask me why I don't vote. TSV said it all already.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
If you need proof, CEP, I have pictures of hot women shitting! Google is a bit disturbing at times, but still I can prove my point that EVERYONE shits!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I really love coffee (I'm an addict!) and this just might scar me for at least a while. I rembmered the comments here the last few times I've had coffee. Maybe it will pass soon.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I too enjoy catfish cooked in a spicy batter. Also I am a fan of three-alarm (or five-alarm =p) chili. Spicy is my thing, I guess. Only, food is still spicy when it's leaving the exit...
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Before you go all out on me, please let me add something I forgot earlier. My post abive is worded a bit oddly. I accept that you shit, TSV. I don't know if you are hot or not as I have not seen you. And it doesn't really matter because we're all here as fellow PoopReporters, not models. Sorry for any confusion above.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Well Shit Volcano are you saying you don't shit? I've read of you having some really interesting experiences pooping. I haven't seen you, so I have no clue of the hotness or notness, but still, EVERYONE shits.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Then let's get Bilgepump to buy me that Lexus, assuming people have actually sent him money. I must confess that I haven't cause NC State University gets all my money. After that, the bank will get my money because I have a huge loan... sorry Bilgepump!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
TSV, Someone's dog probably came up and ate it, assuming your yard isn't fenced in.
Awesome story! What in the world did he eat earlier to mess him up so much? And six flushes? That beats the mess out of my signature double flush... *bows down to the six flusher* And, yep, suppositories or enemas are usually what work best.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I'm interested in one of these toilets. It's almost as if we all have GM and Ford toilets and these are Lexus toilets or something. Speaking of which, will someone buy me the biggest Lexus they make in shiny black?
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I'm a Myspace member but I never go to it at all. I only signed up to shut my sister up. Anyway, here it is. You can view it anonymously.
http://www.myspace.com/tiger7577/
I'm going to search for SamDamnit! later om myspace.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I think dogs are revolting! They eat poop and they eat carcasses that have been lying around. Humans clean their mouths at least daily. You be the judge.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I guess I'm still finding my place here. I'm jealous of The Shit Volcano. I want my name under hers in the sidebar! Maybe in a few months I can be there. It should't take much longer for me to get on the sidebar (2 months maybe?). Watch for me.
Things are gonna liven up again with TSV back. As a long time guest, I've learned to like her like I like the other big names around here.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Welcome, Nate B! Glad you joined us! Drinking too much water can dilute electrolytes and such inside you, which spells trouble. Also, holding it isn't good for you, though I am occasionally guilty.
KOC, glad I could be of service to you. I'm glad you've got help!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Above post was my 100th. Just incase you are wondering, I change the spellings of brand names so no one sues me. I'm paranoid. Please don't let it bother you.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I've started itching since last night when lying in bed. I have a sweaty crack often but still I'm worried now if I have a PINWORM. I type it in all caps because we have a user on PoopReport called PINWORM.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Interesting how this went from a toilet story to an implicit representation of adult matters. Anyway, I've noticed the more I treat my girlfriend like a goddess, the more she wants to be a dirty little.... well you know. Wouldn't hurt to give it a shot. Besides, it's good to treat her well. Keep in mind, even if you don't have any kids: "Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." So keep her happy.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Dumpster: Some of us take our laptop into the bathroom. I do.
Yet another fish story. Sigh. Then again, it's really good. I almost wished I had suspenseful and dramatic background music for the waddling sequence, "halleujah" the moment you were seated, and something else after you went back. I want to avoid Captain D's, Captain Hook's (local place), Fish 'N Chips, and other seafood places.
Hope you're doing well in your classes. I'm getting a lot of bad grades at NC State, which is huge and has dozens of buildings. I imagine walking across campus for a dump would be really tough, though every building at NCSU has its own facilities.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Sorry if this offends any dog owners, but I find dogs simply revolting at times. At least cats are clean. Mother dogs eat their puppies poop before they are able to leave their box/hole/nest just as a natural instinct.
You can definitely get sick from eating poop. There are tons of germs in there that can really mess you up. They don't hurt you when in your colon because it is designed to stand up to these germs.
AND WHY DO SOME PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO TYPE THEIR ENTIRE POST LIKE THIS!! IT'S REALLY ANNOYING OMG!!!!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I sleep naked and used to have a cat that was a shed machine. I'm sure I got some cat hair in there but haven't had any itching I can recall. Maybe it's something else, or maybe I'm a bit more resistant.
Heh, seems I'm sharing a lot about myself lately.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I fell through a lawn chair once... but it had sat outside for years and rotted. I'm still wary of lawn chairs ever since I managed to wiggle that one off of me.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Yeah, I've read about enuresis. I'll come forward and admit I have a bit of a fetish for "liquid gold". At the same time, I feel bad for you. Instead of popping pills, though, I'd just sleep wearing whatever you want to wear (or not wear) to bed and keep pee-proof sheets and a pee-proof pad on the bed. I every now and then wet the bed (really bad dreams and such) and I have a pad that can take it. Hope this helps.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Well, FP, I had to read it a few times but it makes sense now. Guess it makes sense that it's a lot more common than I thought. I was thinking I was part of a small group of pissers, the one that goes along with Enlightened Shameful Shitter. Thanks for filling me in on that.
While it deviates from poop, this has become a rather interesting story.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
While oh so tempting, you have to watch out for some people. Then again, I've never had sex, so what do I know?
Awesome story, written very well. I saw images of you there with the muddy balls and your "deflating" member. Great way to describe it. Good thing my girllfriend can hold it! Sadly we've only gone so far as looking at each other though. Sigh.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I try to pee on the back of the bowl just above the water--reduces noise (and splashback). I have no problem peeing anywhere so long as no one is looking at my penis. I guess I have deep-seated issues I need to work out, cause there's supposed to be no shame in having something every guy has.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Yes, I'll admit I'm fat. But I fit on a regular toilet just fine, or one bus seat, or one chair. And I can get into my car just fine (small sports car like a Tusmang which i hate are another story). I do need to drop some pounds and inches... 80 and 6 to be exact. Why the small waist reduction? It fits in 38" jeans--I just havr a huge ass and a huge belly that hangs over.
For those who wonder, I do have larger turds (hence "Double Flush"), but it's not from being fat. Fat people usually have normal sized poop. Another mystery solved!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
LOL, got any short poop related jokes? I am farting an awful lot tonight(or wee hours of the morning) but don't know how to make a good one-liner out of it. It's from eating pizza that was sitting out. Hopefully I wasn't asking for trouble.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Not such a great idea in my opinion. I wouln't want women coming in to see me doing my thing. I'm even scared to use the urinals in the mens room. I only allow one person to see my penis, and I know she wouldn't have bad thoughts about it. Maybe I'm shy for nothing, but oh well.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I used "Anonymous Coward" several times and "Tiger" once or twice. I finally decided to get my guts together and join when after a few weeks I kept double flushing and then coming to PoopReport to read some good poop! Since I came around so much, I figured I'd come and register and post comments more often. Maybe one day I can be up there with The Shit Volcano and The Dumpster! If TSV can be the top user (besides Dave) with tons of comments and few stories, so can I!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Heh, yeah I guess Cialis would be a better choice. Then again, why do so many people take Viagra and Cialis when they can still get it up on their own?
Just so this comment stays on topic.... POOP!!! Don't wanna make PR look like a sex site.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
"the guy in everyone's family that is a prime candidate for a Darwin Award." LOL my family is full of em, luckily I came out fine. Still I don't believe anyone would go so low as to throw their own poop at someone (except maybe in a rage when half their trailer is flooded by the 30 year old toilet)
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
Everyone poops, everyone farts, lots of people shart. We all do it. That's the driving force behind PoopReport in the first place. Also, if you don't mind me saying, I've smelled some really awful things come from ladies (and guys too).
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I think that with that many visitors, they ought to have their own permanent facilities, or at the very least, better port-a-pottys. Also, it seems those Lions are some tough negotiators. I see no problem allowing others to use theirs when they are willing to clean and secure it.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
While I think it's a really far stretch to say this is a true story, I'll go with it.
Driving 1000 miles a weekend for your wife is simply amazing. If you really did that, then she really knew how to control you or you had some serious love and would do anything for her. After all you had to put up with, I'd say a little fart revenge was well in order.
Again, that's assuming that this is a true story. Regardless, I still found it hilarious!
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I could never write something so grand as this fine piece of work. I had no choice but to laugh out loud whilst reading it.
It's a shame some people can't put down their cell phone even for the few minutes it takes to take a dump. I usually fart loudly or flush just for the hell of it if someone is using a cell phone while they are on the throne. Thank goodness you don't (normally) see people taking a dump or watching movies in a phone booth.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
I always look too, even if I am to the point that I'm about to go in my pants before I make it to the toilet seat. People can leave some really nasty stuff on a toilet seat.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
CuriousTampon, I have only done it once, and I didn't really feel it once I had it in me. TSV (and other females), have you ever seen how HUGE tampons get in a sink full of water? Maybe that's what's worsening your cramps.
I always thought TSS was from tampons being left in too long and growing bad bacteria, now I know otherwise! I've never had a scratch or wound that wasn't promptly cleaned and covered (except when I busted my forehead), so I wouldn't know about things like that causing problems. In fact, I hardly get sick at all.
_______ Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.
The moment you mentioned Tacobell, I knew trouble was brewing. It always gives me the shits.
I'm shocked that the casino actually sent you the check and a new pair of boxers (even if it was a joke) rather than just your driver's license alone, and that someone didn't try to pass off your ID as theirs.
If it's brown already, how do you know when the job is done?
_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.