_Prarie doggin bilgepump_Kiss my ass.I just took a dump smooth my hole both of you.He He._____
teddy

_Great story Full of action.I really feel for this guy.Its never happened to me.Atleast not like he did.I admit i had a fart misfire once but thats no comparison to his ordeal.And yes that shit burns cause its still got acid in it.The reason its diearea its mispelled because bacteria caused it to leave the body before it was ready and it burns your crack balls anywhere it gets.Very good story.prarie doggin and biglepump don't read this i don't want in your heads.Mine hurts enough.______
teddy

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teddy Why has it got me down as new.And i have more than any 8 points.The points don't matter but get that new off there now.Or i am going to use the bathroom here and now and it won't be pretty..I am old retarded teddy dern it

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teddy Hay to all you Marines.You guys deserve the best.As far as what you did well shit on saudi arabia thats just what you did bastards over charge us for oil and they hate the USA too.I am with you guys all the way on that.The Marines probably did not use that bathroom by the mess hall till the day they were leaving.After what those devils did to this country i know that was 1991 or so but still shit on them all.You left their country smellin like it should a shithole.I personally thank all you great military guys.Teddy

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teddyWhen before i knew i had IBS everbody feels their dump moving toward the gate i guess i sure do.Well when this would happen to me i had hard turds well rocks is a better definition for them it felt like they were cutting me inside it hurt so bad i would holler till they moved in to the right spot.All i needed to do was slow up on the bread and get me a bottle of fiber laxitive.See fiber laxitive is not only the cure for constipation the fiber cam help lower your cholestrol too.And one other thing IBS sufferers have a motility problem fiber keeps things moving.Ever suffer from sour stomach thats caused by what the doctor told me i have a lazy stomach.Fiber will not let it be lazy count on it.I think my stomach is lazy only very seldom most times what i eat is at the back door in 4 or 6 hours banging and wanting back out.Hope someone benefits from what have learned from trial and error and the doctor too.Don't suffer constipation its relief is only a bottle of fiber away and you will fel so much better.P.S not everone can take fiber it can with some cause cramping.But you have to adjust your body to it.Star with small doses if it don't work gradually increase it till your turding nice and soft and smooth as a paved highway LOL THANKS TEDDY one other thing i don't pay any attention to the directions for my self i take bigger than it says cause its what i need doses some time it won't hurt you it only shits you.

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teddy Well this is definately a shitty subject.To Bigwiper i can answer your question.You are both winnes in this.Now if you dump 3 times a day,then early of a morning you are full of crap but at the end of the day you are empty.Now the person who dumps 3 times a week is full till he dumps depending on the time say its at nite.Well at nite you have had 3 dumps he has had his one so i would say your equal at this point.But excuse my pun here but as a daily check to see whos more full of crap he is definately loaded on the days he don't dump as to your 3 times everday so your both empty at times but he is full more time than you are.

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teddy Thanks for that (Blackbeansoup)Man i suffer from IBS too and was given a bunch of meds to take, heck i quit them and found that fiber laxitive changed my life for the better.Even if you have the runs alot, fiber laxitive can thicken you up.Without it if i eat alot of bread i become part goat.I mean i drop pills similar to a goat.I guess for me this is spell report not poop report.All folks i take all your comments with ease i missspelled one word and did not use periods right well i have allways did that.What you expect weeans just got indoor plumbing and lectric lights not more than awhile back yonder folks i hate we aint got a mule to rid tu town anymooor geeezzz

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teddy Well if she can't take you having a quick nessary dump then good ridens.And if she could not figure out what you did then shes dumb.But you should have simply said hay hun i am cramping like crazy i got to head to them bushes or shit in the car not an option period.Hell your only human i think she was but if she acts like that then she better marry a manican cause they don't shit or fart.I just bet she farts and shits.

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teddy It seem this should be called discuss anything but the what the story is about. There is to too much getting off subject.Sure the world is in a mess.Can't we keep our minds on something and get away from all the sad tiring stuff that comes on the news daily .I had rather hear how a turd got stuck in a toilet that how a multi millionair CEO could not get enough money he stole everybodys retirement fund give me a break.

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teddy I got to put my two cents in here!! Doo-rango your one in a million people or should i saw 10 million people thats got a Heart.The hell with what people say you did right.Right allways wins.I guess i have too much heart, but thats something i can't change.As for the punks with him i mite get in trouble for smacking their punk asses, if they did not shut their mouths enough is enough.One good laughf and thats enough stop it right there.If i were that boy i would let them guys know that when i got off the plane they were never my friends i don't know you ever again.

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teddy If you have pain like that then Well you got a turd blocking the pipeline to the dumping gate.I would take pepto bismol and tums.and go sit on the toilet.And wait for the aproaching freight turd to arrive it may be a few box cars or a big coal train.But when it passes you will feel much better. Having gas like that as long as its not painfull is a lot of fun go to the store and share it with the public i say...

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teddy Hi i sure never though i got in anybodys head wow!!!!Artfull Dodger my brother hunts too i don't fuss at him and if you eat that cool.I have something that i feel will save a life.You know how you hear about bears killing people when they go camping cause most like me don't carry guns..I know you would blast that bear with a rifle.Well i would not go out in the woods or where bears are without one thing fireworks and a matches and a good lighter.A small pack of firecrackers could save you from being mauled by a bear my thoughs. I really believe a bear would take off if you throw some lit firecrackers at him or sparklers or bottlerockets.I know forest fires are a consideration but if your between a bear and dieing whats a little fire.thanks teddy

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teddy I have rethough what i said and i want to say i am sorry.I was a bit harsh.Its just i love animals so much.I think most hunters don't stop and think or won't let their mind wonder over to think of how horrible killing is.Maybe you have more heart and have though about it from what we said.I have seen a lot of dogs and cats run over by cars and die.And they were my animals it hurt like hell too.If you hunt and use it for food to me ok for trophy not ok just my feelings.P.S I don't dislike you !!!

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teddy Thats an insult i don't hunt and you say i am not a red blooded american.I just aint a killer you are.I wish you had not got your clothes off in time.How many of you red Blooded american hunters would be so eager to go huntin if the deers had guns and could shoot back ??I bet none would have the Balls!!!!

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teddy Let clear up what he is saying..If when he puts his arms around the top of toilet then flushes.He will create a suction as the water goes down pulling fumes and gas out of the bowl simple as that .The gap between the seat and toilet itself will be where fresh air is sucked in .I don't think it will remove as much odor as he says.Cause when the shit hits the air before he flushes is still there....My thoughts on it .teddy

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teddy Nice story my dad was in the army back in 1951 .And he said the guys were farters like you would not believe.Remember these young guys feel spry and strong and like kicking butt.So they Let"ER rip sounds good to me. Cool your still around Sir good luck and thanks For serving Teddy..

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teddy I think its a good Ideal to have the plastic thing right in there alongside the plunger.To say it replaces the plunger no it can't come on folks.Its not intended to do that its a cutter turd cutter.Now in some situations it could save the day where a plunger can't.And at the other a plunger may push a stubborn packed turd on down the pipe.Keep the plunger and add the plastic turd cutter.And if your ashamed of your plunger then you don't deserve a in house bathroom. You need a outhouse....

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teddy Man its hard to believe you did not have a litle blood.I have had constipation but nothing that compares to you.If one ever did me that way and i though there was enough sticking out you bet i would grab that sucker and pull it out.Of course my hand would be wraped in toilet paper.Bet you though bare handed. No only in an emergency would i do that...

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teddy He shit in car because he though it would hide him while he did it.That was a very stupid thing to do.I would have told the redneck hay i did not shit in your car don't grab me you dumb bastard.

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teddy P.S Today is my birthday and the story was a nice gift.I love this site .And Gasputin hay man that was great.Please tell me more some of your fart stories.If you would like to contact me privately you can At teddy4963@yahoo.com your story was cool one of the best stories in a long while.Would love to hear more don't be shy.Thanks

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teddy I think you story was a well writen but a few too many words but thats cool anyway.Why do people say stuff when 2 guys are real close and have bonded some how through the thick and thin and the stink and all...That fart in the waiting room sure did make under boy suffer but he survived to be gassed anothe day..I bet you felt better after all that cleaning out of you nasty pipe..teddy

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teddy Great story thats real life if i ever heard it told.As for the 57 plymouth you should have not gave it back to him it would be a collectors item especially if you restore it Heck its an armytank on the road you could allmost push 18wheelers aside if they mess with you..As for the cider and stale donuts i can see the valcano eruptin in you and i would have been madd to getting splashed in cold water great story.

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teddy Hi Franksbeans. Man i understand your situation completely.I am like that too.I fart in front of my mom and dad.But i mow yards for some elderly ladies and if the urge to download a brown load came over me there's no way i could or would ever ask to use their bathroom no.I am a shamefull shitter except in my family.With your situation you did all you could do.These other people saying you should use her bathroom are like the people on price is right in the audiance they don't have anything to lose or in your case anything to smell. P.S allways carry a book of matches in pocket its standard equipment in are bathroom.You can really burn some funk up with 2 or three matches..Good story really liked it.How much did you fill the bucket he he Thanks Teddy......

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teddy Hi Doniker i never though you would ever be that kind not that you are a bad person or anything.Just think wow you bit the bullett for your wife i compliment you Sir. As for your nervousness and going to the bathroom all the time with out any normalcy.Can i ask you how long has this been going on??? I feel i have the right to say this cause i have IBS.You may have it and don't even know it.With IBS to wake up at nite say 3am and start cramping bad and need to shit only to still cramp is just one of the symptoms of it.If you don't get better see the doctor.All though Ibs is connected to the nerves and directly connected to you being stressed out.Can i say Doniker try and relax man i know exzactly what its like really.And if you would i know of something thats very calming to drink.Its Honey and apple cider vinegar and tea.Just warm a cup of tea add 2 table spoons of honey and 2 table spoons of applecider vinegar and stir.It will calm you some.Just wanted to help it shouldn't hurt you at all..Thanks teddy

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teddy Wow that is just so wonderfull those people giving you their clothes and even cleaning up your horrible pants.I know you came to help them allready.But that would have made me consider doing something on my own to really help those kind sweet generous folks.I could never cheat people or over charge them.Maybe thats why i lost my bussiness. But if thats winning being hard and cheating then i will lose every time ..Teddy

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teddy I got to say it whats everbody going so wild about one little comment? Lets move on and wow it sounds like you hate Doniker.Lets not let this thing grow out of bounds please forgive and forget.I feel not many of you like me but that don't bother me in the least.I once owned some chickens and if one gets cut or pecked and it bleeds then the rest of the chickens will peck it to death.Now before you say it i aint calling anyone a chicken just using that as a mental comparison of how this is esculating.Teddy

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teddy I need to clear up something i meant i have not vomited from drinking.I have been sick and vomited and had runs but not from alchol.That was not clear in my comment above sorry..Teddy

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teddy Hi Bowlfiller as a 43 year old i guess i did not have as much fun when i was twentyish i have been drunk but never have had the pleasure of vomiting at all.Or the runs either not to say i have not had runs or vomited. When i vomit whitch is rare i am sick i mean sick.But you had an experience that i don't want in my youth or older age no thank you.And i won't be found flying in an pot metal bird no .Very cool story it had imagination of the mind real good cool story..Teddy

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teddy Hi everyone well i have never incountered a bathroom at mcdonalds here like that.If i did i would just squated on the floor and make cleaning up mine more easy in one spot.Why try and get it in the hole and make a worse mess??As for eating out i hate fast food cause its so greasy.I take mcdonalds burgers home and remove the meat and press it between paper towels.Guess how many towels became gease rags 4 were totally full.Next time you eat at fast food holes just think whats going in your artries if you don't blott it .Suggestion carry a big roll of paper towels in the car....Teddy

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teddy Hi everyone i too was told by a doctor that i have IBS but right after that i was on a lot of meds that i could not tell did anything for me.So a little while later i quit taking all of them and found fiber laxitive.Now i don't want anyone else to follow me in doing that but it works well for me.They say stress has a big role in how ibs affects you. I believe that.Food too.Also i had the worse case of stomach cramps from ibs while on meds 3 days of pain not just cramping but a dull kinda pain that drives you crazy.I was with in minutes of going to emergency room.Thank God we have a 24 hour walmart i went there and chugged a bottle of pepto bismol.That saved me end of story...P.S it was 1am at walmart..Teddy

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teddy Hi Beer Shits let analize your farts.You said why does the hot ones stink more.Well its the gas.Now as for the odor well all the beer alone is enough for that but when you eat grilled onions and beef or what ever you said they are made of at white crystal i think meat.That meat rotts and the beer has yeast in it and together you have deadly gas.Sounds like you could kill a person by farting right in their face LOL i tend to agree...Teddy P.S i love the term crop dusting your a gas.....

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teddy Hi good story.But i allmost go with c everett about it being true but i believe it is.My reason for this not believing it was.Ok you had that nut right where he needed to be in the tub.I would have told him in a comanding way clean your shitty ass up now.Then if he had not complied i would have did it for him if it was a shower one could hold him the other aim the hot water and soap.Thats not undoable it would maybe required one of you get one to.But your ambulance would be clean.My thoughts> Why didn't you wash him i would. Teddy

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teddy Hay double flush they will correct your points now that you have told everbody. This is the frist poop story where the dumper told the truth about the size log.Nobody lays a 3 inch log 24 inches long come on.Unless your a horse or hippo.Teddy

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teddy Hay Grogan why did they not have a potty chair for you in the room?? Young boys will certainly do things like that.My mom and dad said when my older brother was a year or less old had loaded his diaper while in the baby bed and when my mother came in he was eating it gross.She should have a medal for cleaning him up .Mothers work is never done.And mothers never know what they will find when kids get real quiet LOL. Teddy

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teddy It was an ok story but lacked something.Like if you had to hide the bad farts you say you never had.I live in arkansas and never have gone up there its beautiful place i know.Was the the pile you made a pudding kinda pile???Those are allways a mess to wipe clean from the stink trench. Since your maybe from arkansas.

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teddy Well i have never had the horror of using a porta john.But when you have to go like you did Pill Pooper i would call it a underware pride and alots more saver.Even if it stinks bad old shit.What do you think PILL POOPER Teddy