Dan has crystal balls! I wonder if he can see the future in them?

_______
~Keep your friends close, and your enemas closer.~

A girl on the bowl is a sight to be seen
No time for vanity, no time to preen
Who cares about pretty when a movement begins
No time for judgment, shame or chagrin
Freedom is found whilst perched on the throne
‘Tis good to be queen with a load grunting moan

My life is so boring, I talk to my ass
It makes time to listen, and never is crass
The farts may cackle at my miserable lot
But ‘tis me that has the power on the magnificent pot

The pink eye quivered, nestled between cheeks
A movement on the way, the intestines did squeak
A pucker and a shiver
And roiling bowels spoke
And out came a turd as runny as yolk

With a grunt, a push and a slight puff of gas,
My latest Picasso emerged from my ass
I gasped in amazement at its width and its breadth
And watched as it sank in a brown dance of death