It depends on: A. how many people use the bathroom, B. The cosistency of what is entering the bowl (IE the sticky poo leaves more of a mess than the easy slider) and C: the type of water used.

I clean the toilet on a weekly basis. If I don't the chlorine in the water leaves pink stains in the bowl.
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

WOW, what a year!!!!

2006 has brought on many great additions to Poopreport. Here I sit, just ten days away from 2007, and the Dumpster now has 2245 points. GGG has shot from 166 in March, to a whoping 1763, Logjam, Samdamnit, Daphne, Bunga, and many more, have gave their best to PR.

In the 15 weeks I have been a member, I have earned nearly 1,000 points, and will very likely eclipse 1,000 before 2006 comes to a close.

But the ultimate member (aside from Dave himself) is AB2K. She is the one who keeps Spammers at bay, scat posts off the threads, and so much more. My hat goes off to all who work behind the scenes of PR.

And we can't forget Dave. Dave is the reason that we have a place to share our stories in the first place.

Someone will make 3,000 points, and possibly 5,000 points, before 2007 comes to an end. Who will it be? TSV? Dumpster? GGG? Logjam? or even more daunting, someone who isn't even a member yet. Someone who is just lurking as Anonymous Coward like I did for six months. And like I do, they enjoy, and believe in the site so much, that they join.

I am looking forward to making significant contributions to Poopreport in 2007. Not for the points or the glory and recognition, but to brighten up someones day with a funny story, or to give knowledge to someone that has battled IBS for 16 years.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

This story would make a great movie "Fartal Attraction".

I also agree with TSV, what happened to you was an indirect form of poisoning.

Thank goodness that this girl didn't have a very good poker face, and gave her rouse away.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

That's one less asshole in the world.

Seriously, I hope the doctors can do something so the kid doesn't have a colostomy all her life.
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Very funny CC.

The two man scrambe suddenly bacame the one man scramble, for the bathroom that is. _______
"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

That excercise bike could use a bumper sticker. This bike climed mount Flushmore.
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Jim, that is a very disturbing thought.
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

I feel that cell phone use in bathrooms is rude. It may also be distracting to the person in the next stall.

All it take is a simple "I'll call you back, I'm kind of busy at the moment." Then when the person is done in the bathroom, they simply call the person back.
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

FArting is a perfectly natural bodily function. Yet doing it at a crowded urinal would certainly attract attention.

So, to avoid doing the walk of shame, I feel that if the fart can be postponed until a better time, that hold it until that time.
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Another way of getting out stuck shit is to simply eat at Mc Donalds. After eating that slop, your guts will be slick as cat piss on a lenolium floor.
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

AC (10/12/07)

How long have you had "thin and narrow" poos.

If this is something new, you might want to see a doctor. Sometimes this is a warning of intestinal cancer, or an obstruction.

It's better to be safe than sorry.
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

I guess some of the mods don't like my jokes. What kind of a poop HUMOR site is this???
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Scat splat fever, anal tethers, I love it.

This is one of the funnier stories that I have seen in awhile.

So, did any of the passengers notice the smell from your shoes?

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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

I actually thought of something.

I wish that my bowels didn't muck up, if I overdoo the olive oil.
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"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Doniker, it sounds like you are living proof that the Oxy Powder people are actually the ones that are full of shit.

The only real good clanser that I use is Sonne's #7.
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"Thunder in March betokens a fruitfull year" .Or is it "Thunder in March, frost in June"?

It sounds liek both of you could use a colon cleanse.

Good short story though.
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I am winter's hurricane, I am the great blizzard of 1899, and no body shall be exempt from my wrath.

Another way to cauterize hemorrhoids is to pop them, then immediately apply fresh ground up Habanero peppers to the site of the hemmorhoids. *squirming in my chair*.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

Great poo-em and thread.

I especially go a kick out of the second to last line that says: "Perhaps you might like to create a poo raft?
Your lumber arranged neatly both fore and aft.
You could then set sail at high tide and head forth,
pointing you arse towards magnetic north".

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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

My poops are always under water submarines.

If I were to have a floater, it would mean that I could make a life raft, if I were to be stranded on a deserted island. (ew)

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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

This must be the shortest story on PR.

Good question RB, it would be interesting to find out why this stry was removed.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

The other David. For your IBS, go online and look at Digestrol.

This and a Dr. Natura cleanse, helped me overcome my 16 year battle with IBS.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

The Shit Volcano (3006) -- 03.25.2004
Was it a religious bookstore? Maybe you were sensing all the crap inside.

Crapping in a religious book stroe would result in a holly shit.

Poonami. It sounds to me like you have nothing more than a bad case of Pavlov's anus.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

The Dumpster (2279) -- 01.06.2007
How did you "overcome IBS," Healthy? I'm 20 years older than you, and I have yet to figure that out

There is a product on the market called Digestrol. I took the Digestrol, and I did a Dr. Natura Cleanse.

I also take Sonne's #7, twice a year. This is a detox.

I hope you try this and it works as well on you as it did me. IBS is terrible.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

I'm with you Recto.

I wouldn't change a thing about my bowels, except having more time to enjoy pooping.

If I spend three minutes in the bathroom total, that is a long time.

Since I have overcome IBS, it is almost like my bowels don't realise that I am nearly 30 years old. Bowel movements are quick, solid, enjoyable, and easy. Wiping is a snap, and not messy.

I hear so many stories about peoples bowels changing after 25, that I feel like I'm from another planet, with my teenage like system.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

For the people who don't was their hands.

Please make an effort to wash your hands. Have some consideration for the poor slob you will be shaking hand with later in the day.

The germs from poop can pass through ten layers of toilet paper.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

Sorry, but I have to go with the crowd. this story is as phony as a brand new nine dollar bill.

1. Eating fermented mayo' would have resulted in botulism poisonig, which would have caused death by respratory pyralysis (unless you got the antitoxin and a thracheo_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

After reading TSV's and DF's comments, I am now all fired up. May I add to this subject, befor getting back to topic?

What are the words of the constitution? "We the people", not we the white men.

What is this society doing? My company hires percentages of different races, yet they call themselves an EOE. As for my party, I am an indipendant, moderate conservative. As I am writing this, an old 70's song from my childhood comes to mind. It is a spinoff of the song "What the World Needs Now", but there is a child in the song that ask his father "daddy, what it hate?", "daddy what is racism?". Society tries to impose their beliefs onto others too often.

Sadly, I see lots of principles that this country was founded on are slipping away. The last two elections, I also felt like was voting for the lesser of two evils, and lost desire to vote in this years election. I disliked Bush, but Kerry makes turns my stomach, and that says alot, he is the Senator of my state. Worst still, if you want to be president, money talks. Gotta run them campaign ads. So we just keep electing on a monetary basis, not a character basis.

What is religion? What is color? Do these things really make a person better or worse? The Witnesses, Mormons, etc, etc, etc, come around every year and try to convert me or "I will be condemed to hell". I am so tired of them, that I don't answer my door anymore when I see them in my neighborhood.

In a nutshell, we are all human, we all have a purpose. It saddens, but also stumps me as to why we the humans, the only species that can reason, the only species that can understand, the greatest species of all, are the most hateful and predjudice. Yet we all dream of that magical day when everyone will love each other. That day starts within all of us. We need to demolish the race and religion barriers first, and start looking at each other from the inside. When that day comes, Oh what a day it will be.

As for the story. Though I believe that two wrongs don't make a right, I can see where this worker kind of deserved to be punched. Especially when there were multiple facilities at his disposal to relieve himself.
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"If December be changeable and mild, the whole winter will remain a child."

Don't worry about going into a government job covered in shit, they just would have thrown it at the American public.

No wait, that's a different type of shit.
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"If December be changeable and mild, the whole winter will remain a child."

Very good point Doniker, I overlooked that part. Tampering with food can have disasterous consequences.

Anybody thing of tampering with food as a prank, don't do it, you are playing Russian Roulet with someone's health.
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Watch out for the deadly F4, though he's been gone since '53, he will be back.

Though I have never openly compared my poop with anyone elses. My father and stepmother were very open about poop, while my mother is repulsed by even the word.

I guess many people subconsciously compare their poop to others. I don't know if it is a natural in-stinkt, or if those of us who compare poop are just sick and demented fu@#s.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Good poo-etry AC. I forgot to mentio that I keep my head up while I am going.

If I have trouble pooping, I find it helpfull to grab the sides of the toilet bowl, and sit straight up.

I don't think that culture has much to do with the position of the individual. I think that it is a matter of prefference and comfort.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Oh, and another major player in the bowels is a person's stress levels.

I notice drastic changes in my bowels, when I am under constant stress.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Fantastic story. Too bad your wife deleted the picture.

That is what I call the ultimate colon blow.

Hopefully, you have healed up succesfully form your procedure.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Ouch, I could almost feel your pain.

I can imagine that when poop started building pressure up there, it felt like a jackhammer.

Hopefully, since this story posted, you have made a full recovery and your pain was short lived.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

It might be a good idea if he gets checked for Chron's or Cholitis.

If he has neither, he should take a good look at his diet, also a mild colon cleanse could help, but I would, by all means see a doctor.

If he drinks alot of beer, these "shit bursts' might me caused by that. He could also have IBS-D.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

TSV wrote on 02.16.2006
"We should have a feature in our personal profiles that allows us to keep track of how many "great" and "lame" comments we have earned. It is easier to keep track of the personal witty/stupidity factor".

I write: A coded system might help as well, for example: Reason #1 might mean off topic, reason #2 might mean a flame on down the line, so the members know exactly why they are being lamed. There could be a reason box in the member's profiles that only the individual can acess his/her self.

Also, in time, it may be a good idea to let the PR members vote in, or vote out moderators, with final approval of Dave. Almost like an election, there should be a designated time frame from one election of a moderator to the next election of a moderator. Just a thought.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Re-reading the threads, I find that a four inch thick turd is highly unlikley.

I own a high preformance toilet, and the hole is only 2 3/4 inches high, and 3 1/4 inches wide. Better still, my drain pipes are four inches. A four inch turd would never fit down the toilet hole, let alone get stuck in the drain. I have produced 2 inch thick turds many times, and those would require a turd chopper in my old toilet.

I can see 3 inches, maybee, but not four inches.

It's not nice to fool mother nature.

External hemorrhoids + mega turd = searing pain.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Poopeaters make my stomach do flipflops.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Casacara Sagrada = mega liqui shit explosion.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Sorry, I just didn't go for this story. The only two good things about it were, it wasn't overly long and it was fairly educational.

out of a 1 to 100, I would give this story a 43.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Public toilet phone conversations is where I draw the line. That and in people talking on a cell phone while they are driving in the car (at 30mph in a 65mph zone) grrrrr.

But bathroom conversations are rude.(JOE) Hey Mac, where are you? (MAC) Taking a dump plunk plunk plunk. (JOE) so I hear. (MAC) hang on while I wipe my ass, oh no a million wiper, hang on. (JOE hangs on) (TOILET) woshhhhhhh, chugalugalug. Now is that a good conversation? Poor old Joe forgot what he had to say to Mac.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

First post rocks.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

This poll needed an other section. iI came to PR not only to interact in poop experiences but also to give direction to those who suffer from IBS.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

I did come close with my prediction. My poop was 8.5 inches long and 1.5 inches thick this morning.

I Googled that info. I'll try to find the site, I should have copied the info. I totally agree that there is no set weight of a bowel movement.

I was not trying to say that there is an average size to poop, just an average weight.

Let's see how this theory proves out, in the mean time, I'll try to dig up that website.

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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

The normal weight of poop is 9oz, 20% of that weight is intestinal bacteria.

I will try to predict the size of my next poop. I predict it will be nine inches long and 1.5 inches thick. Let's see how close I am.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Ge Whiz, what would posess a men to do this anyway?

It sounds pretty gross if you ask me. PR is not intended to be a pornographic site.

If men want to shove a tampon up their rumplestillskin, that's their choice, but most PR members don't want to read about it.

Spare me from these kinds of stories, please.
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Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

Ouch and Nasty :-&. Doesn't the soap make your ass gripe and burn?

Yes, fingering can damage the spinchter.

The bottom (no pun intended) line is, this is just plain unsanitary.

STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELVES PEOPLE.
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Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

As a kid I was always swallowing my gum. I stopped when I leaned that it wasn't the best thing for me. ML, I remeber the old myth about gum collecting in a person's stomach.

Spit out your gum people, and not on the damn sidewalk. AND DON"T EVEN THINK OF STICKING YOUR USED GUM UNDER A DESK OR TABLE, THAT DRIVES ME ALSOLUTLEY NUTS!!!
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Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

Yeah AB2K, that is awful, Most of my family believes in hitting, I myself started getting "spanked" before age two. I will sonn have children, and believe in the old saying "spare the rod, spoil the child". It will take someting pretty bad to get me to spank my kids.

As for the early potty training. As long as as it is working, I see nothing wrong with it. Older babies usually are able to give a subtle warning before they drop their loaf. It is up to the parent to pick up that warning.
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Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

There was a man named Lee who started drinking pee at the age of three.

Lee's friends would plead not to drink pee, it is unhealthy, but Lee would not listen to thier plee.

One day, at the age of 33, Lee could not pee.

Lee's doctor told him that he had damaged his kidney for drinking his pee.

So all of you who drink your pee, just think poor old Lee.

Listen to Healthy, drink some tea, it is much better for you than pee. Do you agree?
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Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

AC 10/9/06, I think some people are open minded, others are just gullable.

Yeah, the bad grammar thing drives me nuts too. There is such a thing as proof reading after you are done typing, and dictionaries people.

I still can't believe that some people actually consume their own bodily waste. :-0#
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Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

SMP, First, take a long shower.

Second, go to the drugstore and pick up a $3.99 bottle of Quell.

Lastly, your lover must be a saint to put up with that stench. I sure wouldn't.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

I guess it depends on activity, and diet. MY bowels changed around 19. Aside from random incidents with my IBS, I began to have monster logs that would make my toilet beg for mercy. I even had to come up with a turd chopper, and boy did I. (For a future story).

I have a very alkaline diet, rich in whole wheat, fresh fruit, and vegetables. I also detoxify my system with "Sonne #7" twice a year. I eat almost 0 processed foods. A product called Digestrol has regulated my bowels.

Now, at almost 30 years old, I still have very large, firm, one piece, easy sliders fairly regularly. I also drink at least 8 10oz glasses of fluid (mostly organic fruit juice). I also lead a fairly active life.

Hopefully, my secrets above will be tried, and I hope that my post helps to erase some evolution for the people who try my secrets. _______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

Despite my IBs, my poop doesn't smell all that much. The only time it stinks is when I take alot of laxative, then the stench is worse than digging up an old landfill.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

I'll bet you will not forget to go to the market the next time you hear "casserole".

For those of those who think cute women don't poop, guess again, nature's call does not dicriminate. Male or female, sexy or homely, old or young, we all pinch our loaves.

This story is shameless shitting at its best.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

Ok, welt raising boogers, 600mg of Morphine, chipboard consistencied poo, sound like a slight exageration to me. All in all a funny story though. I wonder where G Ras is five years later (this story is form 01)? Sounds like he is not doing so well. If you are still with us G Rass, and still read PR, SEE A DOCTOR.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

To push or not to push. When constipated, absolutley. For an easy slider, just let it come out. Why do extra work?
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

I don't mind a warmed toilet seat, as long as it in my own home, not in a public restroom.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

Less than five minutes is usually the rule for me. But when my IBS kicks in, I take five to fifteen minutes.

Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.