It sounds like La Rue had the same doctor I saw.
I told him I had a pain in my foot and he said, "You have toelio."
Then I told him I had soreness in my knee, and he said, "You probably have kneesles."
My wife wants me to go in for one more visit about another ache I have, but I know what he's going to say, "You have small cox."

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There's a certain air about me....

It never hurts to educate people, but many of the folks who've attempted to inform communities in HIV hotspots around the world will tell you that there is an enormous disconnect between providing education and seeing the people put concepts into practice. We can't always appreciate in this country that what we think others should want is not always perceived as important by them. There are a ton of examples of this in areas ranging from health education to political and economic reform.

A friend of mine teaches school in a remote Alaskan village. The rate of chlamydia infection exceeds 30% in that village, and that, believe it or not, is not exceptional. Efforts by public health officials and educators to teach awareness of this and other STDs meet with a near-complete lack of response. The residents also expect that they will lose most of their teeth by their late 20's, so the children mostly disregard oral hygiene. This isn't an ethnically insensitive comment, either. It's common. We think the residents of those villages would want to save their teeth and avoid gum disease and the like, but children grow up modeling their behavior on that of their elders, and they simply don't see any value in forestalling the inevitable by trying to brush their teeth regularly.

Whether it's an Alaskan village or one in Africa, often there is very limited access to regular medical or dental care. So, it's fine to teach about the practical aspects of hygiene and disease prevention, but there are plenty of things that can happen to our bodies that even those living in modern cities can't seem to prevent. I'm not suggesting that the answer is to just give up and let people suffer in ignorance. By the same token, I am saying that we should not be surprised to see someone doing their dishes in the same pond that's used as a toilet. Other cultures just might have priorities and concerns that do not match our own. Not to get biblical on you, but you can only make the effort to preach a message; after that, you move on in search of those who are ready to hear it. br>_______
There's a certain air about me....

Glad you asked, Poopgirl. One place you might want to go for some information about an organization that is, indeed, trying to make a difference is water4people.org. However, although we often think that drinking water and sanitation are readily available in this country, that's not always the case. Many of the Indian reservations in the continental U.S. and a substantial number of the villages in Alaska have drinking water systems that are probably unsustainable and might become non-functional over the next decade. In rural Alaska, it is still common for the "honey bucket" to be the primary form of toilet, if you consider a 5-gallon bucket that's only emptied when nearly full to be a toilet. The sanitation system in a large number of those communities consists of a lagoon where the honey buckets are dumped. Before you ask, one of the reasons they don't have outhouses is because seasonal thawing of permafrost makes them unstable, and a lot of the villages have water tables that are nearly up to ground level.
So, yes, as Daphne says, it's sad that there are places in this world that lack basic sanitation, at least insofar as it's a cause of disease. By the same token, in many countries - including the U.S. - there are both economic and cultural reasons for the lack of rudimentary sewer systems. In uncongested rural areas, it probably doesn't constitute as much of a concern as in the more crowded urban centers. Of course, the uncrowded rural areas with habitable climates are fast disappearing as the population of the planet continues its exponential growth, but still....
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There's a certain air about me....

I certainly apologize if what I posted appeared harsh. It probably could have been put more obliquely, but was really only meant as a mildly humorous followup to Anomalous Coward's post of 11/3/06. Feel free to delete it (and this one) if you think it'll grate on anyone or distract from the flow of the discussion. However, I believe you'll agree that there are a few "regulars" on this site who seem to bend over backward, straining and trembling, to pucker up to the mods. Whether they routinely receive the "great comment" points is probably related strictly to the merit of their contributions, but one might get the impression that some of those posts run right up to the border of fawning.

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There's a certain air about me....

I guess I sort of agree with what Dave posted. The movement of crap into the descending colon initially brings it into contact with the area near the internal sphincter, triggering a relaxation of the sphincter. If we didn't also have an external sphincter of striated - or "voluntary" - muscle, we would be like some animals who walk around and crap without having to think about it. When we exercise voluntary control over the external sphincter, the internal sphincter tightens again, and the urge to crap is reduced. What usually triggers it again after that is the peristaltic movement of the "upstream" colon moving other crap through the system. You can fight off a turd for only so long if there is a high degree of motility. No matter how tough you are in other respects, you're usually no match for a turd whose time has really and truly come. Once the internal sphincter can no longer be fooled into maintaining an initial barrier, it is up to the external sphincter. All you have to ask yourself is how long you think you could hold a half-pound weight in your hand with your arm extended straight out from your shoulder. Even the strongest person will find the muscle fatiguing over time; same goes for the sphincter, it can only be asked to do so much.

I also agree with Fart Poopie about the suppositories being safer. They're less likely to do damage to the soft tissues of your rectum. You might want to also consider possibly using a small dildo/vibrator that's well-lubricated. I understand that you don't think this has a sexual aspect, but if you're going to insert anything in yourself you might as well use something that is less risky than what you already do. If you haven't given yourself a fistula or torn any of the tissues, it's only a matter of time until you do. Trust me, if you're embarrassed by what you're doing you'll be even more mortified when you end up in an ER explaining how you perforated your bowel with your finger.
I'm certainly not versed in psychology, but I'm guessing you're habit is not unusual, even if it has some unique elements. There are plenty of resources out there for seeking advice on this, and your employer might already offer an employee assistance program, which is an anonymous helpline for everything from substance abuse to depression to family problems. You'd be surprised how non-threatening it is to speak to a medical or psychiatric professional. Once you overcome your initial reluctance to speak to someone, you might find that it becomes even easier to address some of what might underly the situation. Believe me, as someone who grew up around doctors I can tell you that they really don't judge their patients. Well, the good ones don't, in any event. You really need to consider the long term view of this. Eventually the trauma you inflict on yourself could take a toll,and the fact that you already believe your ritual has "deformed" your ass is an indication that you are headed for something that's not going to be pleasant to experience. It's really a great first step to air it out in this forum. I guess I'm one of those who's choosing to believe that this was a legitimate, true story. Even if it weren't, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if someone reading it has done pretty much the same thing and might benefit from the discussion. Best of luck to you.
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There's a certain air about me....

Egyptian food always Riddles my Sphinc!

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My butt isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Beethoven's Last Movement left on piano.
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My butt isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Roughage? Fiber? Haven't I suffered enough?

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I will never eat that much cheese again. Never

Is it just me, or are we running out of ideas for columns? I mean, really, this is scraping bottom just a bit.
What's next, a poll asking: "If your poop could smell like a flower, what kind of flower would it be?"
Or, perhaps, "If you had a turd that was like the worst car you ever owned, what brand would it be?"
Go ahead, flame my post. I can take it. Allow me first to adjust the chin strap on my helmet. Okay..ready...Fire away!

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Please, only -1 for this lame comment!

Anomalous Coward, follow the example of some of the people on here who make it a point to kiss Dave and AssBlaster's crusty holes. Your points will quadruple, at a minimum. Remember: any story in which you mention finding foreign objects in your poop are guaranteed to get posted and earn you "great comment" bonuses.
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There's a certain air about me....