Two broken doors: $75 each
Broken door frame: $40
Broken door barring device: $45
New trim for broken door: $10
Fruit of the Loom boxers: $5

Making it to your own toilet before being forced to wait on the street covered in shit for your uncle with the only other key to get home: Priceless

Consiquently...what happened to the coffee?

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Hey! That's my robe!

This whole comment string reminds me of a commercial for adult ADHD.

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Man who stand on toilet seat is high on pot.

My asshole speaks all the time..."Honey what's for dinner? Honey where's my belt? Honey would you mind resurfacing the driveway while I watch Monday night football?"

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Man who stand on toilet seat is high on pot.

Not a knock on you at all Phipps, but I think my husband would have to do some heavy dooty convincing to get me to want to do the nasty with the image of him with a tube stuck up his butt burned into my mind...at least not the same night.

Unless he bribed me with pizza. It's always a sure bet if there's pizza.

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No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

It would certainly make church more fun.

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No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

I'd say his religion is more along the lines of "buttism."

Whatever...hope I find more than splatters and TP stuck to the floor next time I use a public restroom.

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No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

Even if you're squatting to shit on the ground and there's a real "rather large bush," you're still BEHIND it. The sheer physics of getting shit on either bush in either case are mind boggling.

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What do you mean you didn't see it? It was right next to the toilet!

I have to ask...is she married to a man named Seymour??

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What do you mean you didn't see it? It was right next to the toilet!

I want to change my vote for the "most annoying habit of the person in the stall next to you" poll.

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It's YOUR cat, YOU get his poop out of my sink!

Thank you, CEP. I thought maybe I was the only one getting tired of hearing about DND's ability to "drain the main vein" anywhere.

Other than that, OK story.

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Holy skid marks Batman!

You forgot his bowtie and suspenders, GGG.

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Holy skid marks Batman!

He cleaned up the mess because he's a good friend, dumbass.

How would you like to have to take your child to the ER to have her butt repaired and then come home to a sludge spill in your bathroom?

Sheesh.

Way to go Dumpster!

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Holy skid marks Batman!

Hey Dumpster,
Are you, by chance, my 9th grade english teacher, Mrs. Bangstad??

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Holy skid marks Batman!

Ugh.

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Man who stand on toilet seat is high on pot.

Hail to the Chief, everyone!

It seems GWB's conscience has gotten the best of him and this is his attempt at redemption.

Yeah, I know...but the shitman can't help it that he smears his poo all over the place, either.

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No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.