My ass had become a fine-tuned weapon, exacting justice on those who had wronged me.

Like the angry fist of YAHWEH striking down unbelievers in some ancient desert city. "And Pissy did not heed Shit's Mighty Ass, and smelt, and lo, she was turned to a pillar of Salt". Or some other crap.

Great story.
the Pirate Master Rot Bottom.

Try one time you might like it Hamster.
_______
the Pirate Master Rot Bottom.

I sniff.

I'm not ashamed of it. Sometimes, after a good wipe, I sniff my finger. It has nothing to do with 'checking' if I'm clean, or anything else, although sometimes it is to verify a "paper break". However, if I'm verifying, I already know a break has occured (usually by textural sensory input on my fingertip).

Why do I sniff? There are many reasons. The first being, I'm a sick fuck. Secondly, because I LOVE the smell of my poop. I had better, as I encounter it at a minimum 3 times a day. Some days, I'll poop 8, or 10 times depending on the content that day of my diet. The volume of poops is effected by (but not limited to) the following questions: how many pots of coffee did I drink today? Did I eat corn last night? How about anything that came from a pig? The answer to all of these is almost always yes! . So, I encounter the stink of my own shit often. I have learned to enjoy that stink, very much. So when I wipe, I sniff.

I don't stop at sniffing! Oh no! I classify and describe the scents, along with the actual content of the bowl. For about a year, I kept a very secret journal describing the quality, content, quantity, form, consistency of the poop, as well as a description of the scent. Ah, and after rereading a few journal entries, I also usually would note how long it took to clean up after.

A standard entry read something like this:
"1st. Easy, tender at end. Semi solid sausage shape first round, 2nd round very liquid. (Chunky, shreddy). Some corn, some red pepper. Five wipes 1 wet. Scent: coffee strong, chocolate overtones, sweet"

Process that for a bit.

Ok, done now?

Yes, I sniff. I not only sniff, but I describe, much the way (in my mind at least!) a cigar afficionado or sommolier would describe a good cigar, or a nice wine. In fact, I do both of those as well.

I no longer journal all my poops. But I certainly do, almost 100% of the time, sniff my hand to get a whiff and classify in my head the phenomenal smells that emenate from my ass.

PS - Some of the time, there's a very sweet, chocolate scent that is amazing. Also, there's a very pleasant burning-wood scent that comes after a good, fat steak. My favorite scents come after drinking wine and eating soup, as well as eating cheese. The worst comes from beer and salads.

the Pirate Master Rot Bottom.