Do it Emeril style and pop it on there and say BAM !

Sounds like you went to vegas and played craps after the seafood buffet !

it is ok to shit your pants when you hear the beating of the wings of the angel of death.

This is an ADA violation. (Americans with Diarrhea Act)

Harkening to a day gone by. Here is a re-worked ditty:

Here I sit all broken hearted, lost 100 Euros because I only farted.

Please, consider the dog's view.

To him/her, this pile left along a walk is nothing more than a navigation fix. Dogs do not have maps, they have noses. So when they crap in a yard, it is not about being impolite but rather a way of keeping track of where he/she is on the walk. If this were the military it would be called FPS. Fecal Positioning System.

Think of it as a type of land bouy or even a fecal business card !

(With Apologies to Robert Frost)

Whose corduroy pants are I think I know because she was a date long ago.

She dozed in my car without a care until a shart triggerd a scare and caused her to seek the refuge of a cloistered chair.

She returned without her soiled cords and gave a can of glade a shake as if there had been some mistake.She must have thought it queer for the passenger seat not to suffer a smear.

Between the Twin Cities and Lake Mille Lacs,
The darkest evening of the year.

The only other sound was the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
Highway 169 was lovely, dark and deep.
But I had promises to keep,
And miles to go before I could sleep,
And miles to go before I could sleep.