Dear Frank Be Gay til Armageddon Day;
Whats so interesting about me, anyway?
I'm just another gormless jabroni who gets a kick out of this here website.
If the word of old Turdley is anything to go by, I'm the dumbest of dumb.
I just felt good about learning what a sockpuppet is, and I wanted to tell people!
When I learn how to tie my shoelaces, I'll probably post that, too. _______ The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
Hi all.
In response to the story, I think the felon deserves whatever he gets.
C'mon, man, you don't rip off a colostomy bag and chow down on the contents. Apart from which, if he didn't have a replacement bag, he'd be leaving the stoma exposed (trust me- this is a bad thing).
In reference to Jack Schitt's comment, yes, theres nothing I can think of that compares to the smell that is released during a bag-change.
Depending on what I've eaten recently, that smell can range from pretty gross to instant puke.
...and I like onions. And chili!!!
Just recently, I'd been copping some flak from Mrs. Mullet (just before bed) so I decided to let some gas out of the bag (in the bedroom).
One of the best dutch ovens you can imagine!!! _______ The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
I had a dream last night.
There I was, parked on the shitter, backing one out, with Yngwie Malmsteen shredding away in front of me. Next thing I knew, a young female raced up to Yngwie and asked for his autograph.
Yngwie just smiled, swung his Strat and batted me off the shitter with it. He then grabbed the girl and stuck her head in the bowl.
Thats when I realised that the fan had hit the shit... _______ The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
I don't have a foot.
I only have about eight inches.
(God, I can't believe no-ones made that joke yet). _______ The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
I believe the worst kind of shit is the one you don't have. The stubborn bastard log that just likes it in your guts so much that it doesn't want to leave.
The one that festers for days and days, and just refuses to leave home.
The cannibalistic turd that consumes other smaller turds, growing fatter and fatter, and hurting you more and more. The grogan that has gone way past its gestation period, and you almost need to deliver it by Caesarian.
You heave, you sweat, you tremble, and you begin to wish for an epidural. You feel that your spine must surely part company from your pelvic bones, as this nasty great poop-equivalent of an agoraphobic Sumo wrestler fights to stay indoors.
Yes, I believe that this is the worst kind of shit.
_______ The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
I don't mind the McShit.
I should probably point out that the act of going to McRubbish's, with the sole intention of using their facilities, and when the staff give you 'the look', you tell them that you intend to buy a burger when you come out, well, thats known as a McShit with Lies. _______ The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
This would test my patience:
After getting off a plane, where I'd had to sit next to someone who smelled like shit, getting into a taxi driven by a fat, perspiring Middle Easterner, arriving home after dark, only to step on a hot, fresh turd in my front yard, which had been left by my senile, aged, next door neighbour. _______ The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.
...now this is disturbing stuff. I was always under the impression that LDS missionaries were seriously committed to spreading the Good Word, not spreading their cheeks and leaving poop soup in each other's lavvies.
Eeewwwww.......
(What would Jes...... no, lets not go there...)
Good story there, Deja,
But somethings quite rotten-
Theres one other thing
That you'd surely forgotten.
While math is important
Good hygiene demands
You've emptied your bowels
Now wash your damned hands!!!
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.