Same story condensed

Dressed up on Sunday, Thank god I'm saved
Then off to the bar, to get drunk and laid

I was cool, I was poised, I was slamming 'em back
but fearful of sounds might escape from my crack

To show this new hottie that I got lotsa class
I shuffled outside to pass noxious gas

Fully ready to give her my hard and my heart
Only thing in the way was this one stinky fart

Outside at last, now to let this one fly
but chunks and liquid sprayed out my brown eye

Shifted attention from her pants to mine
drove right past a dry cleaning sign

Made it home safely, though filthy and lonely
Jumped in the shower, to play thump the bologna

SP... The I5 corridor is for the Interstate 5. Runs from Canada to Mexico. It also goes from interesting to boring, from nowhere to Seattle gridlock. (NOT fun) And has inspired this song

For everyone need'n to go, and stuck on the freeway. The west coast's infamous Interstate 5.

Sang to the tune of "Rawhide"

Mov'n moan'n Groan'n
Scan'n the horiz'n
Soon you will be go'n
I-5

No truck stops or restaurants
Fuel-stations or rest stops
I'm checking every bush and tree in sight

Com'n out (Keep it in!)
Move about (suck it in)
Hit the gas (Speed it up)
I-5

Turtle head (Stick'n out)
Face is red (Scream n Shout)
This is it!
Get me off I-5
(cue the whip crack!)

Will the sequel be "For a few chickens more?"

I remember, after a night of extreme passion, her fondling my package and balls. It felt pretty good for awhile. After about an hour, I asked "why do you enjoy that so much?" She sighed, "I miss mine."

Mirror mirror on the floor.

Shit-n-Git

SP! What should we call that "dust" in your undies? I vote for "clitty litter."

Same as always - I sit there and contemplate how best to achieve swirled elimination.

Great story YLS! Perhaps CEP would be kind enough to post his address. I we were to send him all the bills directly, we could save money from not having to go through a government bureaucratic nightmare first. Bless you CEP!

The voices in my head say "Kill your boss!" I admit, my boss is an asshole. I'm self employed.

MSG must live in a better place than I do. Around here it is more like...

You enter a public bathroom with several stalls and see one without unflushed poop in it. What do you do?

#1 Assume you are hallucinating. A clean toilet! No way!

#2 Must be early enough that no one has gotten to it yet.

#3 Assume it is a trap! Check seat for super glue.

#4 Other