Did you mean The Performing Farts?

GGG, I don't think it was the boy. I think it was your husband's turd. All signs point to that, in my opinion.

C. Everett's comment that "war is sometimes necessary", along with the responses that followed, reminded me of something. Hope you don't mind the long post...

Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I think I'm entitled to them.
Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I WANT THE POOP!

Jessep: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE POOP!
Son, we live in a world that has stalls. And those stalls have to be guarded by men with mops. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Turdberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You Poop for Peace and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's shart, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my Poop, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the Poop. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, in the pockets of your jejunum and your ilium, you want me in that stall. You need me in that stall.
We use words like honor, code, loyalty, doodie, poop...we use these words as the tailbone to a life spent excreting something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and poops under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said chew weee! and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a mop and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

Kaffee: Did you order the code brown?
Jessep: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.
Kaffee: DID YOU ORDER THE CODE BROWN?
Jessep: YOU'RE GODDAM RIGHT I DID!

Adam felt sure that Eve could produce a pile worthy of admission to the GENESIS Book Of World Records,
but she was only LUKEwarm to the idea. Since there were no JOHNs, she MARKed her spot and proceeded to release a KINGSized poo. It was a COLOSSIAN ACT. This was no GARDEN variety shit. Her DOO-DERONOMY made a mass EXODUS and was a TESTAMENT to her shitting prowess. "ISAIAH old girl, good thing you didn't crap on my new CORINTHIAN leather hammock." said Adam. "If only SAMUELDamnit was here to see this mess." "There must be at least 3 lbs of poo there Adam", Eve shouted. Adam concentrated on the pile. "Let's see...5 logs at approximately 1/2 lb each. "2 1/2 pounds to be more exact. You were close, but I did the MATTHEW see." Apologies to all PR's. You see, Psalm jokes are better than others.

{whispering} The Dumpster doesn't know it, but we've secretly replaced his lavender-scented bath oil with Folger's Crystals...let's listen in...

Thunderbox, maybe when that happens, his dad will shit in the car one day. The title of that story could be The Missing Link-inContinental.

And as we move towards a cashless society, we'll have to s"wipe" our credit cards eventually.

Yeah, i've pi$$ed away a lot of money before but...

that would be form 1040-2

AB2K, I had a tough time choosing between option 5 and option 3. I chose 5 in this case because the scenario allowed for it. But my socks used to get used regularly when I'd go fishing. The thing about fishing is that I would always be waking up a few hours earlier than normal, so my system would be thrown off and the morning dump was nowhere to be found before leaving home. As we neared the lake and started to get excited about fishing, the urge would always hit. Most of my fishing was done back in the 70's and 80's, when the socks that we wore were the long white tube socks with 3 stripes at the top. They were great for wiping. Sometimes you would only need one. My friends would lose control when I'd emerge from behind the tree with one sock on. But, the funniest part of it all was that we fished in a cove on a lake where my uncle had a house. In the middle of summer, when the water level would be very low, you could see a bunch of my tube socks along the shore. You didn't think that I took them back home with me, did you? We were never smart enough to start taking toilet paper with us.

FOR SALE: Broken-in, green 1996 Camry w/ extras! Stain on driver's seat and possibly on back seat. Pair of jeans in trunk. Green raisin-colored trim. Must Smell. Best offer or trade for Pontiac Grand Slam, er, Grand AM.
Ask for Denny

If it was swiss cheese, I'd say that this story is full of holes.

Dumpster, here is an urban legends link like you mention.

http://www.snopes.com/medical/emergent/couch.htm

FOR SALE: I light grey couch...good condition, only 1-year old. Medium-sized brown stain on center cushion. Does not effect the comfort or functionality. $100 OBO. Or will trade for nice throw rug.