Does walking away like nothing happened constiture "slinking"? If I couldn't then I would use the plunger to scrape it off. Failing that, get the water out of the bowl and use the bath mat.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Bunghole, why did you crap ON it. all you needed to do was crap in the nozzle. Then she would turn it on and blow crap all over the yard and herself. I wouldn;t mid being woken up one last saturday just to see her scream.

Uh-oh, we've been infiltrated by 14yo's!

DF, ill see if I can get a pic or three, but the sewer tunnels in my neighborhood are covered by bolted-down plates which I have tried to remove and found impossible. Now there is one I can open with a crowbar, but I'm not a person who enjoys standing where all can see me tampering with a manhole.

Now, I have done plenty of urbex of the storm drains. Those aren't connected to the sanitary sewer sytem (in my area anyway, some other places combine the storm drain and sainitary sewer---never thow anything down the storm drain if you're not sure) and some of the pipes are big enough to go inside. Now, I have removed enough manholes from stormdrains, and one cannot fit though the sive of the pipes. They are about 18"in diameter (from one side to another-is that right) and impossible to get thorugh. However, the one I mentioned previously are about 48" and are the outlet pipes, or are on drainage ponds.

I know this is confusing and probably boring, my apologies.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Now, Dumpster, I don't think PR is full of gays. But I can't speak for you. However I think they were talking about understanding each other.

(Yes, I know you are being sarcastic)

TSV, all your recent sigs seem to have somthing related to hurrincanes in them.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Damn. I didn't know that they had hotels in Korea. Just goes to show what you can learn on the internet.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Good god, that gatorade site is interesting. (not like that)

SOmetimes I drink powerade, same difference. The only thing I notice is that you piss a lot more. I like drinks in this order

1. gatorade/powerade
2. Bottled water
3. Sprite/Sierra Mist
4. Tap water

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

OK I got it. Thanks Dumptser.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Ok. So even if you get shot and die? Like, Michael Kennedy, the guy who came and ambushed a local police station? He crapped himself as he died?

Just need clarification.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

That's right. I forgot that people who are hanged crap themselves. Thanks TD. BUt what if its instantaneus(sp) death, like flying a plane into the ground and exploding?

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

That just sucks.

But it does bring up a question I've had for a while. If you are crapping or pissing, and you die while in the middle of doing said activity, do you keep on crappin or stop?

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

If fish can't swim in chlorinated water, why should ducks be able to? On second thought, they put up with acid rain.

I attempted to crap in the ocean once. I was unable to due to waves (which were only 3 feet)

That mus have come from a fat guy. Only fat people like me lay down long logs.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Me, Im addicted to Gatorade. (minimum of 60 oz. daily) If I ever meet a hot Gatorade executive, and our relationship progresses to this level, I can honestly say I might stop drinking Gatorade (and switch to Powerade of course)

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

CEP: Does Paris Hilton shit?

Wow I wonder if that turd was as big as mine from KOC at KFC?

Man, steak, garlic mashed potatoes, AND eclairs!! Me wanty!

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

The only thing I doubt is the driving 1000 miles. Otherwise, not too bad.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Good God! I knew that in Vietnam, they would just shit off the side of the road (as referenced by Fallen Angels) but I thought mexicao had public toilets. Maybe the guy was just lazy. PP, you said you were in a parking garage. Maybe he didn't want to walk howevermany floors it was downstairs to the port o crappers.

By the way, if thus ever happens again, say "No." It is the same in spanish and english.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

I wonder if this turd was as larger or larger as mine from KOC at KFC?

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Agreed. Let's get some more people on here who had no idea they were in the news.

Currently, there is nothing betwwen me and RD. Also, on that forum link you have there dumpster, ya think everybody's is with somebody? Not me. No questions please though, it's kind of touchy at the moment.

OK, my attemped and failed joke sucked. Here is one from my never-preformed stand up routine:

So back when I was a kid and I first discovered that my parents had sex before I had sex ed classes at school. Ya never look at your parents that way again, once you find that out. So I was only alowed to watch 1 hour of TV per week and drink 1 soda a day. So it was a Sunday and I wanted to watch football (more than 1 hour) I wasn't sure if I was alowed, but I would ask anyway. So I ask through the door "Hey can I watch football?
Dad: [gruff voice] Yes.
Me: Can I have a Coke?
Dad: Yes.
I think Hey this is great sunday is the time to get stuff. Next sunday I ask again:
Me: Can I watch TV?
Mom: [sigh with pleasure] Yeeessss.
Me: can I go over to a friend's? We're gonna watch the game over there.
Mom: Yeeessss.
Me: Should I stop by for dinner or anything?
Mom: [obviously well into it] No, dont stop!!
Me: Hey why can I suddenly do all these things?
Dad: Here I come!!
I run away, thinking he's going to come out and hit me. But I still wonder. So next Sunday, stupid me walks in on them to see why they keep letting me do all these things.

It sounds better out loud, but still funny.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

I think I saw that on a TV show about the wirdes things removed from people's bodies. (Some of the weirder were ice axes, glass, and a not fully deveoped person [in a non-transsexual male, if you can belive that!])

WE had some immigration demonstraion issues around DC a couple weeks ago. A kid got stabbed, and many kids left school.

GGG, I hope the principal is al least smart enoght to figure out what theat means. On second thought, since she can't read, she probably wont.

Hey wait. Since the principal can't read, can the parents say the school board sucks because they stuck in a retarded principal ?

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Ya know, if a nuke did hit while you were hiding under a desk and you died, I bet parents would complain that the school was not prepared for the attack.

While on that subject, a school in my area build in 1952 is rumored to have a bomb shelter and 50's rations are supposed to still be there. How 3000 students and teachers fit into a bomb shelter is beyond me, but... Of course that rumor also goes with the one about the school I usually work at- "There's a pool on the fifth floor" and it has only 3 floors.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

One of the online newspaper links up there calls PR an 'Online humor site." Are we that humorus?

Also "the folks who run" PoopReport. Now that is humor. Thanks, Dave.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Ya notice how the last 3 stories are all 10 point people? I sent Dave 2 stories and he says it'll be 2 weeks before they get up. Can we have a mix of reputable stories with the one-hit wonders?

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Are you supposed to put your apparaatus in that monopod thing?

I would not want to put my delivery device in somthing other people put theirs in (Unless it was a female somthing)

Yay first post

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Dumpster, I was reading the Dumpster Debacle, and you mention "Kyrie" Doo you know how to pronounce that?

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

She could have hotwired it. Volvos are the easiest to hot wire (I have done it once or twice) I like how you know it is a volvo though PS.

Of course the kid would hum spongebob. But what is a kid doing at an office building?

Steps to hotwire (on older car)
1. Find solenoid.
2. Find red coil wire (follow plug wires)
3. Run coil wire to positive battery connection. (Gives power to dash; needed to start car)
4. Follow positive battery cable to solenoid.
5. Cross small wire and battery cable with somthing metal (insulated please) That cranks engine.

For a newer car:
1. Rip all the wires out from behind the ignition (where you put you key)
2. begin crossing until engine starts.

Alternate method (all cars)
1. Procure sledgehammer
2. Bash out ingnition keyhole area.
3. Cross wires.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

What video? I never saw anything about a video! Where can I see it?

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Heh, love those cheerleader leg jokes.

Why not wear a thong? No VPL (as far as I can tell) and will doo your asswiping for you.

Finally! Another member of DENSA! Welcome to the club, bro!

Damn, thot would suck. I would move out of the country if that ever happened to me.

I have to use the plunger every time, no metter what. I spin it and stick it next to the crapper. End of story.

PS, I like that title.

Daphne, jsut admit it. You [try to] save the environment.

PS is a she, am I right PS. (No offense please if I am wrong, TD is right etc.)

Georgia would have such an accent, AB.

Wow rat! is your ass that blinding?

33 1/3 I like the song.

So what are you saying, PG?

So daphne, youve always been an ecofreak treehugger right?

AB, Georgia, Kansas, os Missouri.

Baghdaddy has a point. Seeing the look on someone's face is very funny as they come out of a stall with shit in it.

And that's why we don't be clerks.

I have never worked in a store, so that has no backup.

Agreed AB2K. If it were not a dream, I would praise it. But it just seems too convienient and vivid. But what the hell. Good story.

Speaking of checking dave, i just had a good idea. I know the the site server gains the person ip adress when they visit the site. If that could be made public, we could find out the location of anonymos poopers and see if they were credible.

wireless industry presumse you know somthing about computers. what does mouse stand for.

what is printer in spanish.

what does GHz, MBps, modem stand for?

but AB, i asked PS, now you gave it away. DAMN you

Domn. What happened to the comments on the story. Im all confused now. Who loves who, who is up for grabs?

DAMN IT i really should have read all the posts.

PS, there are two types of holes and several types of tanks.

Ther is the type of hole that works by being small and cuaseing suction, and the type that is big and works by putting lots of water down it. (Dont put a bottle in the latter type)

Tanks-normal, just water, pressure assist (reccomended but loud) has air tank to shove poo thru and one other i cant think of now.

Oh wait, sorry, didn't read above posts b/f i posted.

DO NOT put a brick in the toilet, b/c the brick wil desintigrate slightly and clog up the tubes that bring water from tank to bowl.
Then you WIL Have to replace toilet b/c the tank will always overflow.

OK I had a typo in the first line there. Must I lose a point over it?
It should read If you can read this, you are in the shitting zone. Meaning, I can shit on you in this range.

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and shit on you. Meaning: you are just outside the shitting zone.

If you can read this, I can hut my brakes and sue you. Meaning: you rear end me, I sue you.

While them cops was talking to the horses, you should have layed a log in the car.

and the bisexes?

or is that the same thing? Im not well versed in the hip young lingo

A cyber carrer eh, and how does one get one of those.

Damn! Ill be sure to have lots of toilet paper if i ever put anyone thru college.

I wasn't in a port-o-crapper, TD. They would say it without seeing anything.

So I'm funny now. Maybe I should become a comedian.

If you can read shit, you are in the shitting zone.

...If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and shit on you.

...If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Dumpster, plaese make them out to Roto-Rooter, Inc, for fixing the bathroom that will be decimated.

I have heard stories about school locker room showers.

My next objective: To KFC, order the same spicy food from KOC at KFC, drink 3 gallons of beer.

I worked in constrution while I was in high school. I never did it again b/c of all the Mexicans. I just can;t work with people who make comparisons of my balls to shriveled raisins in forign languages.

I believe the forklift/crane you are referring to is called a "material handler" I have a picture but I'm not sure how to put it in.

I regurlary take shits in portajohns, and i have never been tipped over.

Damn, someone else thought of the flyloft idea.

Remember though, I patented it (4 times)

Very interesting software, DAve.

SOrry, thats story.

THe title said to me: a story over 20 years time.

The Sotry made me say: BWAH HAH HAH HAH HA HAHAH AHA AH HA ha.

I wish i had a woman to doo that.

Maybe he is irrational, but he still should have punted the dog down the street. God came down and slapped my parents b/c of my fat ugliness. Therefore when the dog does it wrong, kill the wrong doo-er instead of the owners.

Wait, that makes no sense.

What I'm trying to say is, the dog did it wrong, so punish dog instead of the owner.

TD, I get enough excercise thrusting my wheel out of the way to avoid all these Asian drivers while I drive the 2 miles to KFC and then run back upstairs to report the poop.

Why did I put my computer upstairs?

wow. that really is nuff sayed.

I think it is either "The Relatives Came," or "How many trucks can a tow truck tow?"

TD, your poem sounds like an old nursery rhyme.

Damn it y'ed i lose a POO-int? Is my humor that bad?

If I were able to give points (Damn you Dave/system) I would give you .5, TSV.

IT is probably b/c their parents threatened to not let them learn for a week if they didn't. Sorry to be racist but all Asians are smarter than me and must learn all the time. However, they cannot figure out how to drive or speak english.

Having said that, Yay first post.

I say, use paper towels and save your pants.

The kid could have got a shovel.

Yay first post

He makes a valid point.

Good job FP. We should all clap for you.

Hey all I'm back after a week off of PR'ing (Dave: WTF are you saying, KOC youve only done 1 actual report)

I answered option 1, b/c I stubled across this site whil looking for some porn or humor, 1 of the 2, and decided I had to tell people what I did at Camp.

Yessir dave, will get right to work on some newswire stuff.

When did we get these line between posts?

Ass-mazing. POO-riffic.

GOod Reporting.

"Hobo on a hot dog" good simile

So did you actually get it on (Im very un-sexy and slow, I don't know these things)

Thats so random, just get up and take a shit on a stereo.

Ive only been real wasted about twice. First time, I had just turned 18 and went out with some friends...

Second time I was at my frined houst and I wake up in the moring having pissed myself, ppl are like "are you ok"

Anyone with that much initiative deserves to be PResident. Hell, he might just go win the Irak war for us.

Where is this libray at? I am going to place shit on evey toilet seat and in the sink, toilet, urinal, and trash can of the staff bathroom and make sure all the custodians have the week off. Then the health inspector will just happen by and fine all the library 'bigwigs', for lack of a better word. ThenThey will clean it up only to have it happen again the next day.

I think the dude had 95% rights to doo that. It is illeagal to leave dog shit on the ground (in anyone's yard)

"she's just a baby" BS! BS BS!!

a 13 year old has more mental capacity than Bill Clinton.

From now on, if she cant see the poop before, she shure can now.

The only thing Krupnik did wrong was not punting the dog down the street.

Welp, that sucked.

Amazing video clarity

Ya no, that aftermath WOULD be pretty bad.

Plight ASSenedent-ya no, they ascend into the air?

I have forever hated haiku and any pooetry. This continues my stance.

PS, you suck.

TSV, b/c they have shit volcanoes,

Be shure to shoot the poop into the toilet.

WEll, thats why i dont listen to Reba crap.

They are. If this many women are running water, the world will be bone dryin an approx 1 year. The sewage plants cant keep up with the load and will overflow onto city dtreets. House will blow up, people will die, Dubya will get reelected, the Steelers will win on SUnday, and apocolyse will follow.

SpongeBob Swampcreature. HA hah ah.

Their anuses are retarded too- they retard the poop from flowing.

They are jsut retarded.

Hey, just like my farts!

My point crack? I dunno. Maybe that Mntn. Men arrr' better, but I actually dont know what my point is.

A fourflusher? is that a degrading comment?

Yes. Crack, that is exactly what I am saying. Im serious.

Everything i say is literal and I take all things said to me literally.

Hey, Mountain men used rifles. Pirates used cannons and swoards.

KIds used to inflate pig's bladders for use as ballons.

Now that SUCKED. Blowing explosive diahreea acrossa stall and up cucking at eh same time is one thing, but then haveing th e abulence guy come in... wow.

"So I ended up spending the rest of that day wearing excruciatingly uncomfortable gauze underwear"--Har har har.

The year of the dog-doo.

PG, i belive they only teach LAtin now. Ill ask a friend to ask his kid if they teach it.

Up-chuckingly butiful. LOL.

Ok, from now on we should not have any moderators. So what if someone says somthing retarded. I want to read it.

DUmpster, I do shit in the woods, so fuck off.

Yes, Bunga.

Ok, so what does LEET mean?

It must have happened in scotland b/c we blame everything on them.

Wow, 15 and already a PR'er! WE gotta start training babies (Like Re-Max)

Excited about what, DUmpster?

That Bunga's assertion may be true?

Shut the fuck up,

dumpster. Im on a roll here.

I do know thedifference between gorilla and the other one. But i would spell it wrong and i am too lazy to copy and paste it. Typing it in owuld take a bit too.

Dumpster, what do you mean i embody both ters equally?

WEll, I din't know that. Learn somthing new everyday, even on PR.

SPeaking of learning, kind of random question here, but: Does anyone know how to make a pay phone call itself/ring?

heh use the remote.

AB2K, why don't you answer Bunga's question?

I agree wit ya tho, b/c I kinda ate too much and i hate excercising, so it is my fault im fat.

Whatever, I dont care if dead people vote.

NOtice I din't complain about first post.

But what the hell, Yay first post!

And i am taking a clas to lear spanish, too.

"Gas Gorilla" lol.

Loved the teen girls.

PS, i don't have a pic of my log. Dave can I sned you a pic of the cup i am speaking about?

Bunga, right you are.
May I seuggest making an anchor next time so us lazy folks dont have to copy and paste?

Hmm, Colon has a point. But is TT ok in this situation?

Britney was a gay whore anyway. No one beleved her, and we dont now. SHes just a retard with know sense.

I see, FP.

Wow, bunga compensating????

I still woulda just ripped down my pants in front of all and shit.

God, that brings back memories....

True. BUt you would not get road rash-you'd get poo-rash.

Heh-huevos.

Are you sure it's not juevos?

Ah, I partialy see.

Nah, lets get some alliteration:

The tell-tale turd.

BTW, a dumpster is liek a trash can. right?

Well, you are taking it the worng way. I am always right. And Im seriois, if people cant take care of themsevles (Unless of course they are senoir citizens or toddlers) they dont need to be wasting my money.

PG, how bout you psot that on KOC at KFC.

PS, Im your man: read KOC at KFC.

sorry, AB2K I forgot about call center people. I have seen some really fat call takers.

The lunch you just stated: that's a preety normal lunch for me too. (Maybe not the chips, dont want to get too fat)

HOw doo we sudmin a POO-ll (poll)

Wormwood? IDK what that is

Anyone 450 pounds or over doesn't deserve to live. They obviosly don't have a job, and are living off MY tax money.

Anyone who has a medical problem that makes them fat is excluded.

My GOd!

I woulda shot that bitch.

In response to the poll about what to do if you come upon a clogged toilet, i vote for on tthis pole, there needs to be this option:

Just KeepOnCrappin.

I piss before I shit so i can read somthign and not have to worry bout holding my pecker down.BTW, as people here tell me, I'm very unsexy and I have a hard lenghth of about 6 inches.

AB2K, penis pumps are dangerous. THey can actually make your tool shrink, as from Jackkinhow.com

(DOn't worry I never uses that site)

Aww, cmon FP, just go for the sex change so you can tell us what its like.

Bunga, how is it that you know I am a very big guy? Its not like I said that im fat anywhere.

A boner is not always to be coveted, as Dumpster says. Suppose you're in front of your [male] boss?

BUnga, try whacking off.

Good Report Scatoman.

When I heard Ivory tower I wondered if Halo 2 would be in the report.

Shitting on my feet? No, you bend over a bit so that crap goes out at 45 degree angle to ground.

I play paintball-CTF occasionally and for my base I use this drainage box in the middle of a dry pond. (A pond that only fills when it rains-all the storm drains dump off there)

The box is like a pill box-hole all the way across at eye level, 1 hole at bottom, and mesh-grate at top. There is a 5-ft diameter pipe going out the back that the water from all the storm drains runs into after going thru the pill box (which is only wet when it rains) Often during a long battle I will go back into the pipe and pinch a loaf. You kinda sit in a chair only the chairs not there, bend forward at waist (So ass is in the air) and blow crap all over walls. Actually pretty good, cannot clog it up, no cold toilet seat.

So by authoring his own misfortunes, do that mean hes making it up?

I woulde't mid just shitting where i was and let someone step in it. Or piss on the dude in front of me.

IF i were a woman it would be even easier. Dont wear any panties and just piss under you.

I can't see the picture, dumster.

And about those conspiricy theries: (Don't read if you are too patriotic)

So what happedned on 9/11 was that the US flew the planes under radar cover and exchanged them for UAV's (Unmanned airial vehicles) while radar couldn't see them. Then they shot a missle from the UAV just before impact of the UAV, to make the explosion. (MOre on this in a moment)

Meanwhile, the planes were flown to some remote airport and all the people were put in the Witness Protection Program.

We can see it was not the actual 767 that hit the WTC's b/c a Boeing 767 wingspan is 167 feet. THe WTC is 200 feet wide. So the 767 should remove at least 3/4 of the WTC, right?

BUT as we saw on the news it was between 1/4 and 1/2.

Secondly, when the second plane hit the second tower, we saw just before impact a flare under the plane. A missile?

Heh- of course, blame the dog.

NO, I din't take a picture of the actual log, i'm talking about the cup that is the size of the log.

A pic of the log would prove my point, though.

Heh. Yep, the bottom. Ill see if I can send dave a picture.

I would hope so, FArt.

BTW, DKC is wrong, b/c i live in FArifax county, VA, which is the richest county in the USA and tweith largest school system, 4th largest fleet of buses.

Take that, COnnecticuit!!

To those who think the story sucks: This wasn't a story to please, it was a REPORT on what happwnes when you go to KFC. MAybe it does suck, hopefully it doesn't, but your comments would be more justified if you notice this REPORT's state of being-- a report, not a story.

THe quaker oats oatmeal box--yep thats what it felt like. The length probably the same, width, maybe you could lose a tenth of an inch.

Dumpster, did it actually get terminated, or did you write that?

Oh BTW TD, Dove will put up KOC at KFC on Friday.

"Some filthy cunt's been into my dad's study and shat all over his fucking briefcase!" Heh eh eh. Love that line

Censoship really sux

I dont know what to say, other than you cal lok for the Naval Acedemy in KOC at KFC.

SPeaking of me, I just sent Dave KOC at KFC, so expect to see that soon.

Heh heh heh- Karl Rove.

Wow-distinguishing crap from smoke. I cant doo that.

Hey, Im fat, which is why I cant get off the pot.

Since you seem to be so angry, maybe I shouldnet tell you, but I was unable to send dave my story today (Sorry) Blame Gmail.

See other posts for snippet of story (Poo Lane)

OMFG wth. who likes who?

WHo agress with who?

Im so confused. I have to go take a crap.

Heh eh heh.

I'll second that motion.

GODDAMN THE FUCKING WORLD holy shit fuck you all bitches.

Well, that's a good way to relive stress.

Now i must stop applauding and unleashe the second round of the upcoming KOC at KFC. (see other posts)

Oh, I see.

So you need a spell checker for the smell checker.

Interesting that P and M are 3 spaces away on the keyboard...

Gotta agree there wit ya Dumpster.

And you, registered later than me, are passing me by faster than i can see with the points. How do you do it?

Wow, some one actually showed up the great Dave.

I laughed out loud at that one. (Oops, thats a typo) LOL ROTFLMAO

BTW its Oops, not opps. (oops, thats a typo)

Holy crap look at me im # 33 on the list of PR's. and the link to the roster is still kaput.

Im one of those who can TTT, but cant quite WTW.

I think she was probably afraid of getting an STD from a toilet just used by a man.

Which comment? THe one I posted on Go add it to the Mountain are to Deck the Halls and ahh dammit i forget the other one. The hell eith that, jsut post some more there.

OR maybe Dave would like to write a story on this one that contains the ones we made up.

Good decription of Crapping room. Piss hole torn from all, no stalls, inch of piss on the floor.

I liked that dude pissing in the mid of room. Was probably me, though i'da been shitting.

Yay second post.

Yes, according to Roto-rooter, people are retarded with toilets. O course, somtime the toilet is the best way to hide the evidence. I remember some people escaped from jail by flushing dirt down the crapper.

Happy to help out Dumpster.

I put verses to my songs already, so the hell with you, you fucking piece of a turdlet.

Lol-think on his seat.

I have never shit my pants. I have sharted a couple times though. Damn i hate that. Yo thinks it's a fart, then the hot lquid is in your ass and you're like "Oh shit" and you have a havana omlet in your pants.

The most memorable time (Story follows, sorry)

After a nigh of heavy Cici's eating, I went to see a movie at 10:00 when cici's closed. I belive the movie was pearl harbor, becuase it was long. Im driving ome about 4:oo am and i gottta fart, but nopw, it's a shart damn it. I fell the load coming and i pull the car over. I think i can grunt and squeeze it back in while hunched over, but no, another shart in the pants. I rip'em down and drop a cuople logs along with a bunch of sharts and explosive diarheea. RIght there in the midlle of the road, good thing it was 4 am. I have to say, after throwing the evidence off to the side I was very satified. Not only had I laid a suprise for the next car to come along and the litter cleaners, but in was kind of fun to just shit in the middle of the road, not have to worry bout keeping it in the tolet, clogging it up. I would enjoy doing it again (without crapping my pants) if onyl it werent illeagal.

What about credit to me? I get in eating contests. I go to Cici's

My record: 5 Large DOminoes Pizzas and 12 cans of Sprite. DAmn that was some tough stuff.

Ya know, in the 60's we thought the Anglo-saxons was rude and crude. REmember WASP-white anglo-saxon-protestants- they was againts black peoples.

Interesting, dave hasn't limited me yet.

Could be though that I only submitted one story though.

good. Ill continue.

Hell ya we are. Reading "both sucks and blows"

--Bart Simpson

Well I hate to correct people's spelling, but I am a teacher (though not an English techer, so don't tell me off) and it is spelled comuppence.

Farting On Road Deadly?

becuase their employeese get short breaks? I dunno.

DAmn I hate those eyes. And its true. If you have enogh money you can get ANYTHING, and I do mean ANYTHING in this country. 95% can be found online, otherwise just go to a store, or hand a wad of cash to the person (i.e. the judge)

Think about it. If you give a person money you can buy a friend, you can buy wings online (though they don't work) You can buy the presidency by paying off every US citizen, etc.

I woulda shit on the floor make use of the TP instead of wasting a perfectly godd handkerchief

If i ever blow ass in a boat ill be sure to remembor this story.

The comparisons to trains helped me understand it better (train on one degree slope)

Damn good job Dave. I can't find much wrong with it (other than the numerous punctuation flaws, of course)

"embalmed monkey" Bwah haah har! Great story, would have been cool if you'd sharted and blown crap all over the crapper.

Maybe im inhumane, but I woulda pissed and shit on the kid. He's 2, he'll understand.