Damn, I'm gonna have to consume Nu-Lax more often to get enough stories to boost my poop reporting street cred hahhahaa.

And remember, if you post tons of comments that could be posted as one the moderators may decide to delete them.
I look at the points and I'm amazed at how long Tydirum has been around until he poked his sweet head into the forums and joined. (glad that you finally did).
Are forum posts going to count ever, by the way?.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Forums posts will one day count, but not any time soon.

And yeah, don't be tempted to just post crappy comments to build your post count... we will see them and delete them and hate you for it.

Interesting... I had registered on PoopReport a while ago but haven't ordered my thougths for an actual poop report yet. I've posted a few comments though, so hopefully they'll count. On a PoopReporting note, I've been a little frustrated lately. On the Stoolstice I couldn't produce an unbroken log and was really disappointed in my performance. However recently I've gotten some incredibly lengthy turds that I'd have been proud to report for the Stoolstice! Where were these turds when I needed them?!?!

uh....hmmm....!

oh, oops (walks away whistling innocently to drool in the corner)

it really saddens me that i haven't been able to submit any poop reports yet. i just don't have any poop stories to tell! i suppose that's a good thing, because it means i haven't pooped my pance or defiled a bathroom. but i'd still like to be able to report on SOMETHING. oh well, i'm sure my day will come.

Ms Pance, with some creative word manipulation, even the most mundane poop can be turned into a masterpiece. I'm sure many of us ( I know I would) would be glad to help you, although I'm kind of new at it myself, I do have a degree in American Lit, as well as an A.A. degree in Journalism, not that my stories reflect this fact, as I have forgotten most of what I "learned" in College.

So the more comments we make, the more points we get. Great! Maybe I should write a report...

thanks, bilgepump. i'm actually a pretty good writer (toot! toot!--that's me tooting my own horn), i just don't have any stories to write well. actually, i do have one (about my younger brother), but i haven't written it yet because, even if i beef it up, it would still be pretty short. maybe i'll write it anyway. people like to read short ones sometimes, right?

i mentioned in the forums a while back that my boyfriend and a friend of his used to poop their pance so they could get sent home from work, and dave wanted me to write a report about that. but i haven't gotten around to it yet. i suppose i should do that, too.

perhaps my problem has more to do with laziness than anything else. story of my life!

Better get started on those comments then.
Truly a great addition to the site. Added sense of community may be what is needed to keep quarrels at bay.

Haha, toot your own horn.

Wonderpance, you make me laugh.

Yeah, I did publish a couple of stories a while back but now that I know the folks here at PR I am always too intimidated to attempt that again. Standards are high! And, as one of my coworkers once said to me,"Are you going to tell another one of your long, boring and pointless stories again? Because I really don't want to hear it." I think that's why I had to go into the teaching profession...so people would have no choice!

Your coworker says that to you? That's really rude. The next time he says that you you, you should say, "Well, kind of, this one is going to be long, but it has a point...", and then you should stab him in the leg with your bow. Then, you can say, "See? That was the point."
Howabout you post one of your stories in the poop stories part of the forum when the originals get back up to running and we'll all probably tell you it's cool, and then Dave-O can move it to a front page story?.....hugging bunnies since 1969

must get userpoints

(Moderator's note: You've got your point, but only because, we presume, you're DungDaddy's kid. Next time, think of something to say.)

Dave has the most points because he has a common name and gets all the cred for others that posted as "Dave". See the 8/24 comment here.

I'm changing my name to Bob. No, Dave-Bob.

I noticed, when I read some of the older stories, that my pre-update comments are not highlighted and linked like everyone else's. Does that mean they don't count for points like everyone else's?

Probably, yeah. We had over 30,000 comments to move over... many of them fell through the cracks. Sorry.

New feature! See users ranked by points!

9/23 update -- say, if you've noticed that your points aren't going up when you make a post, don't worry. I've seen it, too. We're working on the bug. In the meantime, though, rest assured that the database is recording your contribution, and once things are worked out, your points will be credited to you.

Whew. I'd noticed that, and I was about to stop my participation in PR, because after just a few days of this new system, I find that my only motivation now for commenting is to rack up User Points.

You might consider, Dave, looking into the research B.F. Skinner and the Behaviorist school did on the effects different reinforcement schedules have on behavior (of both rats and humans). It turns out that you get the highest frequency of bar pressing (with rats) when you deliver reinforcements intermittently. So, for example, suppose you rigged it so that a comment got 10 points with probability .1. Most often, you'd get nothing, but then every once in a while you'd hit the jackpot with 10 fucking points. Even though in the long run we'd get the same reward total, we'd be posting comments at a ferocious rate compared to the predictable system you currently have us on. Just an idea...

I want my points!

I deserve one point for that post!

And this one.

Shit. I was closing ground on Tydirium on the tote board, and now he pulls away from me again, with two flippant, lame posts. I've got you in my sights, you bastard.

You guys are killing me. This user points thing is fun.

I wonder if people are going to post more comments just because they get more points......hugging bunnies since 1969

Hell yes they will!!! :-)

Thanks for the info, Dave. I'm rather enjoying this new system.

Update: points from comments are now being recorded as they should. However, moderators will discover that when they delete a comment the moderator loses a point. Whoops. That's being worked on. Don't worry, the computer is recording everything appropriately -- once the bug is worked out, points will be accounted for.

In other news, you may be asking yourself, "How did Dave just get 2000 more points? What's with this guy's ego?" The truth is the most recent recalculation just took into accounts posts on the BM Newswire. We finished migrating over 1300+ posts from the last four years. At 4 points per post, that really hooked up those of us who have been writing news updates: me, of course; also Logjam and Turd Hugegrunt, and Big Sphincter and Hershey-Squirts who worked at the news desk back in 2001 and 2002.

P.S. I know it's kinda unfair that people who haven't been on for years have more points (and thus higher recognition) than those who are today's most regular posters. I'm trying to figure out a way to have the sidebar reflect only active posters, but I'm not sure how I'll accomplish that. I've added that to my "To Do (Someday)" pile.

I was thinking, Dave-O, that maybe you should have two sets or user point rankings. One for active posters and one for defunct or banned posters.

Failing that, you could place an asterisk beside a poster who is no longer active or banned. If the poster reappears or is reinstated, the asterisk could be removed.

Whatever.

These points are a way of measuring our e-penises (sorry ladies) As it stands right now, I have a wee e-winky!

You know, I think there's a way I could do that. It wouldn't be automated, but I think I might have a way to manually disable a person's userpoints... let me work on it.

PS I think all the bugs in the userpoints script have been fixed... you should't lose points when you delete comments now. All is good and well with the world!

Hey, Bilge, in the interest of fairness to the ladies, perhaps the points could also stand for their bra cup sizes. Heh.

Well, then I'm either Jamaican or Dolly Parton. hahaha.

Maybe someday our uber status could be alongside our name? Yeah, I've jumped on the epenis bandwagon. It's just the nature of positive reinforcement......hugging bunnies since 1969

damn it. so all this time i've been thinking about how i want to get my name in the list of highest users (although, my name should really be at the top of that list, if you catch my drift. wink wink, nudge nudge), but i just realized that if that happens (assuming nobody else beats me to it) i'll be knocking mr. hugegrunt off the list. that's not cool.

oh, and liquidy (somehow i never saw your post before), if you don't toot your own horn, nobody else will. so toot away!*

a couple of my friends have a sign that says that (or something like it) on their front door.

You're so considerate, Wonderpance. I suggest some therapy. However, I see a way for you to make the list without displacing TH. If The Shit Volcano would shorter her name to Shit Volcano, Dave wouldn't need two lines to display her stats, allowing in the same display space room for one more high-pointer below TH.

By the way, this was a difficult post for me to submit. It kicked my User Point total from 666 (a number I rather liked given its ominous meaning for fundamentalist Christians) to 667. I actually gave some thought to retiring.

LJ, you are moderator, are you not? simply erase a point from your total and live in 666 perpetuity!!!!

hehe...are you saying i need therapy because i'm considerate?

actually, i think dave is planning doing something to make it so that it only shows active users, which would remove at least a couple people from that list. so i suppose i'll just have to be patient.

i felt the same way as you when i hit 666 posts in the forums. it's a cool number! last time i saw something with my credit score on it, it was 666. it almost makes me not want to improve my credit.

Bilgepump. Ah yes, that would have given me a way to preserve a link to Satan if Dave, the Angel of Shit, hadn't gone and fixed that "bug" (see his post above).

Oh, and Wonderpance. Yes, that was what I meant to imply, which tells you something about the family I grew up in. Also glad to know you're a fan of 666. You're headed to hell, girl.

logjam, it's not just your family. many people aren't very considerate. i tend to be more considerate than anyone should be. i care too much about people's feelings etc. which is odd, because i really don't like most people.

and yes, i will be going to hell. but it's cool, cuz everyone i know will be there, too.

OK, I couldn't identify lapsed users automatically. So I did it manually to five highly-ranked but long-gone users. I know some of the ones who moved up because of this are also long gone, like Poonurse, but her contribution to the site is legendary. That's pretty much the criteria I used -- while Poonurse and Dr. Adams, for instance, (as well as you-know-who) don't come around much any more, their contributions to the site warrant their memory to live on. People like Big Sphincter and Hershey Squirts have disappeared into the anals (mispelled on purpose!) of poop history.

But if you want to remember them, they're way at the bottom of the list, with negative points -- the negative should represent not "minus" but instead "haven't been around for a while."

I could mine the whole list for lapsed users, but I really only wanted to get the highest ranked ones out of the way.

By the way -- if you want to earn points but don't have any poop stories to write up, we always need more people to help out with The BM Newswire. 4 points per post! Email me if you're interested.

And if you are interested, take a look at Logjam's contributions to the BM Newswire. Without exception, they're exactly what a BM Newswire report should be: the day's poop news not only reported but GIVEN CONTEXT. Context is the key -- we don't just report, we interpret.

E-penis. Thant's cute.
I guess my e-bra size would be along the lines of "itty bitty ***ty" at the moment. Maybe some day I'll be up in the Dolly Parton ranking with Daphne. By then she'll have JJJ's, though. Don't know how you'll carry those around, it will be hard to hug the cute little e-bunnies.

I have a feeling this post is going to get deleted. I hope not.

don't worry ms. poopie, i doubt you'll ever be in danger of having a post deleted. unless you start talking about having sex with poop or something.

Thanks for the peace of mind, Wonderpance. :)

I was wondering why people had negative rankings. TCM should have the lowest negative ranking.

And maybe it's just me, but I think non-disgraced historic posters should retain their place on the list. It might make people go back and read the old stuff; then again, maybe not, because I'm almost on the list, dammit.

Logjam: So you want to make commenting on PR like playing the slots? Would PR have to put up a gambling addiction disclaimer? I could see someone just sitting on here posting mindless post after mindless post waiting for the PR points jackpot.

I just joined not too long ago and love this site. Been commenting a lot and sent in some stories. Waiting to see my name in lights....
I thought I read somewhere that you could get points for recommending people to join ? Is that true, or was I seeing things?

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

Hey, what's happened to ThreePly, and how come his outstanding contributions weren't recognized by giving him a registered user name and point accumulation?

Uh, Three Ply exists:
http://www.poopreport.com/user/three_ply

Haven't seen him around in a while, but he's got 110 points to his name.

That's good. I was misled by the fact that his prior posted comments appear in the "unverified" format. I'd been thinking that was the same thing as being registered.

Pooperoonski

Pooperoonskii
I am addicted to this site.I would never go to the doctor about my ass wiping problems and then i found you poopreport ,you have liberated my heiny .Still have million wiping syndrome but i know i'm on my way to a clean asshole someday soon!

Before this registration started, did any posters post who somehow retroactively earn points for them now? It seems those with the highest points have hardly had time to earn so many points all since registratiion began.

Yes, those of us who were regular (or in my case, sporadic) contributors before the points system began had our old comments grandfathered in under the new system.

This is kind of fun. This particular comment will put me in a tie with L.Wrong Hubbard. My mom will be so proud.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

wow - I just learned of this points thing now by reading this link, and got so excited that I rose several inches as I was sitting here at the computer, thanks to the unexpected arrival of a "yule log"! Well, while I go "clean up the mess", I'll allow a few comments and thoughts to "ferment" further, in anticipation of future postings and responses ("BURP"... "FART") oh, sorry... Merry Christmas!

Dave, maybe I'm constipated, but I'm not clear how one posts stories to the site. Do I attempt it directly, or route them through you (goodness knows I could use some beta-ing, but I know you're too busy for this)?

Is there a place on the site where folks like me with the urge to go can find out what the rules are? I'm sure there is. But I am anal retentive. And I have got to find it NOW!!!

Dumpster, if you would like to post a story, just click on "Contact/Submit a Story" under "Report Poop" on the left hand side of the page. The link is rather small.

Email them to me. Although I can tell you're bursting with stories -- please submit them to me at a reasonable rate. I've got too much content in the queue as it is.

I shall take an Imodium AND a Xanax, and wait my turn!

Has PR ever before seen the likes of The Dumpster? He's been on the site about 2 weeks and already is ranked 6th for the last year in number of posts. This posting rate makes The Shit Volcano look like the shy girl in the back of the class. He's sent enough material to Dave that Dave has begged him to hold off. At this rate, he'll have a point total in the 4000s this time next year. If anyone can ever catch Dave, this is our hope. What we've got on our hands here is a fucking PR prodigy.

...or somebody without much of a real life?

Hey, I'm sure if I were independently wealthy, I'd give the job the heave-ho and spend my time on PR, too. It beats real life to shit.

I repeat something I said elsewhere, but PR is healthier than drinking, safer than sex, more fun than exercise, and less complicated than dating. It is also cheaper than psychotherapy, and a GREAT way to kill time at work!

May I observe that Turd Hugegrunt is about to drop off the Highest Users list? Au revoir!

The difference is, Turd Hugegrunt gave us meaningful contributions; it's unfortunate that you will knock him off with posts like that under your belt.

You're only 250 one-line posts from knocking me down a peg! I'll check back on Friday and see if you've beat TSV yet.

Ah, Tydirium, not everybody can aspire to your glories! I will go back and start reviewing your old posts, to try to learn how to do this right.

In the meantime, it wouldn't hurt to hear from you a little bit more often, too.

Ty, I'm sorry you're upset that I'm just a one-line poster.

I'll try to post at least two from now on.

Ty, thanks to your challenge, I came up with 9 other inane one- or two-liners and MADE IT TO THE TOP!!

Forgive me; I just wanted to see my name in lights up there with yours. Now I can go to bed.

I said that already somehwere else, he join like 2 seconds ago and blew me away already.

I emailed Dave my last story as I will doo with KOC at KFC. (Dave, be sure it is called that)

Sorry, but this post will get me my 600th userpoint, and I felt like I had to do it on this thread.

I know I've been a member here a lot less time than many others, but I want to say thanks again to all of you who have been so polite and welcoming to me in recent weeks. Thanks to PR, and its daily dose of humor, my blood pressure has gone down significantly.

PR rocks!

"And yeah, don't be tempted to just post crappy comments to build your post count... we will see them and delete them and hate you for it."

UH OH!

SamDamnit!
President in Exile
of Poopreportia
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

KOC is really climbing in the ranks, too.

Sam, I try to avoid the crappy posts, just as you do.

This post will "get" ("earn" being too strong a word) Dumpster his 1000th userpoint. Thanks to one and all for putting up with my PR obsession these last several months.

(Is there a 12-step program for people addicted to PR?)

Jeez. Let's hope so. Or...not? Woo-Hoo! I've got a whole 163!

164!

165!

All right. I'll stop.

Now.

You know, maybe this is a pain talking, but I think it would be funny if the hall of fame said "Ranked by Pooints" and the list read "User Pooints".

_______
Broccoli!

And maybe the "hall of fame" should be the "stall of fame."

Plus, there should be a "stall of shame," where the banned posters get sent to. A sort of "PR outhouse," you know?

If you study the history of PR, you see how it has of necessity had to evolve away from the original concept of unlimited free speech. Just as bad money will always drive good money out of circulation, allowing obnoxious and perverted posters free rein on this site will run off your better quality poopers.

Hey, TBW--"your better quality poopers." That sounds like an Archie Bunkerism, doesn't it?

(For those who don't know, TBW is the resident expert on Archie Bunker.)

_______
"Say, has anybody seen my sweet Gypsy Rose Volcano?"

This post (made over a month after my last post, just above) will put me at 1400 userpoints. In just over three months.

Somebody help me, PLEASE!!

Sorry TH. There's no helping that addiction.

Congrats on your 1400 (even though right now it's 1410... congrats on that too). :)

And look at me with my lousy 434 points. I submitted 3 stories + a newswire. But I can't keep up with you, Dumpster.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Dave, congrats on your 7400th userpoint.

Of course, I guess you could give yourself 74,000 if you wanted to....

...And this is 1500. Guess you're right, FP; there really is no helping the PR addiction!

(Although Bilgepump does offer a 12-step program over on the forums.)

TD (sorry for calling you TH up there, must have been up late that night), everyone knows Dave gets points just for existing. It's only fair since, well, he created this site. :)

I note that, tonight, KOC has finally made it up to the tote board.

Congratulations, buddy; you've gotten here the hard way. I really appreciate how the content and composition of your posts have improved over the past few months. You're an inspiration to us all!

"KOC--The Cool Crapper!"

(Now, don't let it go to your head, asshole!)

Now I'm back up to where I was before the Poo Gods snatched away a bunch of my points last night.

Hard work pays off.

I'm slowly gaining points whilst trying to be legitimate, unless I'm really moody and need to get something off my chest. My goal is to have my name right below The Shit Volcano and The Dumpster. Why? 1) They have A LOT of points, and 2) I respect them a lot.

I wish you all luck in your points challenge.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Oh, Dumpie. Like YOU need the points! The Poo god was just keeping you humble. :)
_______
Santa Caca!

Hot Diggety Damn! 700! Praise Pavlov!
_______
Santa Caca!

DF,
Aim to surpass me.
In both quantity
AND quality.

GGG,
Bless thee--
For thou knowest the difference
Between "G" and "g".

Incidentally--
I'm the biggest fan of TSV,
And wouldn't overtake her
For all of China's tea.

I reached 300 just last night. I'll get there soon enough. Just gimme a few weeks, some good stories to read and comment on, good comments to respond to, and lame comments to blow off steam about. You all know my personality pretty well. I deserve a bunch if -1s for letting off steam regarding posts that DEFINITELY deserve a "Lame Comment!"

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Don't deliberately post lame comments! The problem is that, the more lame comments you post, the more likely your borderline ones are to get lamed, too, so it is a vicious circle.

Think as if every PR post were going to be the best one you ever made.

Sorry if I had bad wording there. It's the "Lame Comment!" deserving posts that I am blamming, rather than deliberately posting such things myself. I'm not being defensive or anything, just wanted to clear up some confusion. Sometimes I just can't think of the right way to express what I'm thinking. As time goes by, I'm sure it will grow on you, just as my closest friends have learned to get my message through my slightly impaired speech .

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Dat's trange, EF--u don thound ike u abe a peech inpedimen do mee!

Yeah, it's not like that really. I just have problems thinking of the right words and putting them in the right order sometimes. I'm also not the best at conveying the right tone with text sometimes. I'm getting better as time progresses.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Okay, if I post again, I'll overtake AB2K. How is that possible? Wouldn't that just be WRONG?!? I would hate to.....

Aw, screw it.

*clicks "post"*

damn. i was getting so close to the highest users list, and then i got god damned laid off and couldn't spend every day here like i used to. and now that i'm back, i don't think i have any chance of catching up! i need to get crackin' on some newswire stories or something.
_______
i love poop.

Yeah, I pretty much think of work as an interruption to my day. I wish I had a "calling" instead of just a JOB, but so far, nothing has presented itself. Unless you count childrearing, which I guess is pretty important!

Don't worry, pance! You'll catch up!

*has recently added Wonderpance to his list of overtaken users* In just 4 weeks or so I've overtaken all but 20 or so users... bwahaha. It's just that I come around and comment so much. I'm shooting for having 400 by the end of the day, which will get me that much closer to being on the sidebar with the top users. Woo.

GGG, i think my calling is to cruise through college life. I love it here so much! Too bad it only lasts a few years.

_______
If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

Please excuse my error above, i thought Wonderpance had 279 and not 279. Still recent though. Maybe a week ago?

_______
If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

I guess this is the only thread on the site where it is not in bad taste to reveal one's naked ambition for userpoints.

WP and DF, if you want to rack points up quickly, try sending in a few newswires. They now earn 7 points each, and Dave is always hard up for them (says Dumpster, who has been owing Dave one for a week now).

Hah. I turned in 3 yesterday. Beat that!

I have no life.

Yeah, and I owe some NewsWire posts. I've been really slack lately. So far I'm 22nd (at last count) and I expect to be on the right side of every page in about two and a half weeks. Yay me.

I try to make all (ok, most) of my comments fairly legitimate. Still, I should dig up some poop news for Dave.

_______
If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

On another thread, Logjam writes: "Anyone else having second thoughts about what the points system on PR hath wrought?"

LJ, what are your concerns? On the thread in question, there is a squabble between Tydirium and KOC about one of them being 15th and one 16th, and disagreement about the relative quality of their contributions. This is followed by Double Flush bragging about this post getting him his 400th point, for which he is taken to task by GottaGoGirl. So there WAS a lot of points-related commentary on that thread!

Here's the main reason I like userpoints: It says something significant to me about the level of involvement here on the part of the commentor. For the most part, I'm sure you would agree that the people with the higher number of points tend to be the ones who participate not just most, but most meaningfully. Anybody who is interested in being taken seriously here quickly learns that part of the "etiquitte" of PR is that you don't brag on yourself, that it is in bad taste to call attention to how many points you are getting, and that it is unacceptable to post simply for the purpose of getting points. KOC himself is a good example of this. He went through a phase a couple of months ago where he was doing all those things, plus several others, and the CQM mods really knocked him down for it. The result has been a new and improved KOC, in my opinion.

So, if you accept the premise that there is some correspondence between number of posts and quality of posts, having userpoints lets people coming to this site (especially guests and newbies) get some idea about who they should trust, who they should pay attention to, who they should take seriously, who they should brown-nose, etc. Also, it is interesting to me to look at the difference between a person's "comment" points and his total userpoints. For example, of your 1416 total points, only 514 are for comments, leaving 902 that you earned either by contributions you've written for the site, or by the addition of bonus points for great comments (and you get more of those from me than anybody else does!). That tells me a lot about the depth and quality of your participation here.

So I think userpoints have significant value to others, entirely aside from whatever ego boost the user himself gets.

As to the Quality points, I also think that is a good feature, because it enables individual comments to be rated in comparison with what, in other contexts, is called "contemporary community standards." Thus, when I see somebody (like you) who gets a lot of +1's, it makes me look for more of your material, and attach greater significance to your comments.

Quality points also provide a means of policing unacceptable behavior short of censorship. Again, I think this helps people using this site to know how to act here.

I guess the argument on the other side is that it chills expression, squelches individuality, reduces everybody to the lowest common denominator, and generally puts PoopReport on Prozac. Maybe there's some merit to this, but it seems to me that both the userpoints and the quality points systems do far more good than harm.

Anyway, that's my opinion. Again, LJ, I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts, as well as those of others.

I always liked KOC, first off. Second off, there are alot of people who I still consider newbies who have lots of userpoints. Going through the site and commenting on lots of stories will buck the userpoints up, but it also may not have contributed to the original spirit of the thread.

I do think Dave did a nice job of putting the whole concept together.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Dumpster. Re the points thing, my comment was directed at the two examples you mention on the thread in question, where I regarded the focus on points as inane. I do find interesting, however, your analysis of how assignment of negative points worked to bring KOC into line, given that it was his lust for user points that generated the problem in the first place.

More generally I believe that people with something to say get rewarded by saying it, and we, in turn, all benefit. Now having said that, I will also admit to liking my placement on the points tote board, directly on top of the great daphne. I only wish Poonurse was on top of me. I will guard my position jealously.

LJ, that is an interesting insight into how a bit of good-natured "competition" to get or maintain a rank here leads to better overall participation. Your statement that "I will guard my position jealously," means that you will continue to participate regularly, which is clearly a benefit to the site.

Daphne states: "there are alot of people who I still consider newbies who have lots of userpoints. Going through the site and commenting on lots of stories will buck the userpoints up, but it also may not have contributed to the original spirit of the thread."

Daph, I am clearly Exhibit A in this regard, having acquired more points on here in a shorter period of time than (I guess) anybody in PR history. And I will confess that, in my first month or so here I did sorta go nuts with the posting (see Logjam's 01.16.2006 comment about me, above). This is because I was crazy about this place (and still am)! It has just the right amount of impropriety for a stuffy old bird like me with a closet sense of bathroom humor. The regulars on this site are, almost without exception, wonderfully entertaining people, and Dave and the other mods work so hard to keep all the really offensive and disgusting crap off of here. So, yeah, PR is a place where you can post yourself crazy! (I seem to recall a certain forums person with over 3700 posts to her credit....)

But I am trying to do better. I don't comment unless I have something to say (or at least think I do; others may disagree). I'm trying to earn more points by writing newswires, polls, and things of that nature. And I never say anything intentionally to hurt or offend anybody, although I seem to manage to do so anyway from time to time.

So "PR Mania" is a phenomenon I can well understand. I'm just grateful to you, Logjam, Dave, and all the other friends I've made here, both for your overall contributions to the site, and also for taking the time and trouble to initiate a "newbie" like me into such a fun place.

(P.S.--If you ever stop thinking of me as a "newbie," will you let me know? I live in the town where I grew up, and there are still a lot of older people here who love nothing better than to talk about what a bad little boy I was, and how their own sterling influence is the sole reason I turned out so well. I'm thinking of introducing them to PoopReport.com, so they can see how I REALLY turned out!)

I still think of myself as a newbie, and for the most part I try to either add to the thought that's going on or reply to other things directed at me. I just have what points I do because I come around so much. I don't deserve any extra quality points, but I do come and post a lot. Maybe I'm here a little TOO much. But whatever. I like it here.

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Have you checked out Sloan's Uppercut yet?

How did I get 158 points above my number of posts?

'Cuz yer extry speshal.

Thanks, sweetie. But, then, Logjam must be "extry, extry speshal," 'cause he has 902 points over and above his comments!!

Hot damn! Am I up anything? WhadIGetWhadIGetWhadIGet?

Hot damn, Girl! You are at 121 over. Must be all those great Newswire blogs you keep sending in!

No credits for me. All I wrote was a stupid poll.

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I'm sorry, but it appears that my karma ran over your dogma.

Awww. You get top points in my book, TSV! Not that that counts for much, but...

Where would we be
Without T.S.V.?
As a favorite poster,
She is the moster!

Okay, maybe I should lose a point for the bad pooetry.

Wrong, TSV. You are 102 points over, which simply means you haven't written nearly enough stories since you've been here. We know you are full of them--now squeeze them out!!

Dumpster, did you just say I am full of shit? ;-)

Stay tuned, I have a story submitted to Dave. No word back, yet.

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I'm sorry, but it appears that my karma ran over your dogma.

Oh, and if you haven't already, check my name in the PR Roster and read my few stories.

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I'm sorry, but it appears that my karma ran over your dogma.

TSV, I like your stories. I read them quite some time ago.

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Sometimes it just takes two.

Dave, moderators, whoever's in charge, what happened to the "Highest Users" box? Every page looks so empty without it.

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I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.

DF, it basically goes away whenever there are more than about 500 people on the site. This is something Dave does to save bandwidth.

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Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

I see it's back now with 498... hey, guests, feel free to add comments. They'll usually get approved as long as they aren't flames.

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I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.

we should have pooping compos and the wineer of 1 2 3 place get 100 points. supercloged

boy, i have no idea what you just said.
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i love poop.

ha! would you look at that. i just broke 300 points commenting on the very thread in which i'm allowed to point it out without getting lamed!

so, look! i just broke 300! highest users list, here i come!

p.s. i didn't do it on purpose.i didn't even realize what thread this was until after i posted!
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i love poop.

Dear Ms Pance. Let me be the first to congratulate you on passing this milestone.

And welcome to PoopReport, Supercloged. You may not have to do this at school, but on PoopReport, you need to take care to express yourself clearly so that good spellers, like wonderpance, will understand you. I think what you meant to say was "We should have pooping contests where the winners of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place each are awarded 100 user points." I figured this out only after looking at your bio, and noting there that you have "pooping compos" with your dad. I'm not sure what kind of pooping competition you mean, but I am sure you shouldn't be doing them with your dad. He should be helping you to grow up and become a responsible adult (and good speller) so that you can get a high-paying job with no boss looking over your shoulder. That way, when you are an adult and are at work earning your keep, you can spend hours on PoopReport writing to 15 year olds in other countries about pooping. Now that's something to work for, isn't it?

thanks, logjam. and i do hope that our young mr. supercloged will heed your excellent advice.
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i love poop.

I'm not so sure I'd be interested in a pooping contest. While I am interested in getting involved with PoopReport so long as I'm not totally committed, that's one thing that I wouldn't participate in. Sorry, supercloged. You're welcome to try other people though. It might come out really interesting.

And, Miss Pance, at the moment you have 243 points to go before you hit the highest users box, and 265 before you catch me. I wish you luck. I did it in 6 weeks, you can too. Let's take it to the forums if you want to talk more.

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So... uhh... erm.... POOP!!!

Logjam, how do you always manage to say something just a little bit (or even a whole lot) funnier than anybody else on this site can?

Your wit is like very good wine--both crisp and dry.

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Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

GGG posted about passing me way up the thread. I only just saw it now. I don't really give a shit. I'm happy to chill behind the scenes and contribute sporadically (i.e. when I feel like it.) I've never been a prolific poster. After 4 1/2 years on here I've all but ran out of things to say. I'm happy I didn't post tons and tons. I would have probably gotten burned out in six months, as can happen sometimes to prolific posters. I'm the tortoise and there have been plenty of hares that came and went since I joined PR. It's more fun to sit back and watch.

Oh look, this is my 800th userpoint. Whoopdee-fucking-doo.

I still have lots to say, probably a bit too much. 'Tis why I lurk in the forums more now. I guess I'm the one AB2K enjoys watching. Eventually I'll calm down too (I'm starting to) but I strongly doubt I will stop coming around.

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So... uhh... erm.... POOP!!!

AB, you're right. I'll save you the trouble and tell MYSELF to shut the fuck up.

I currently see AB2K with 800 points and GGG with 900--an even 100 over. So, lemme get this straight--who tells who to shut up? I know I need to be told, several times infact, but besides that...

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So... uhh... erm.... POOP!!!

Points be damned; whatever AB2K says, you do. If you dare defy her authority, or show any disrespect, she has the power to send 770 volts over the Internet directly into your keyboard.

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Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

I'm not going to shock anyone or tell anyone to shut up. I really don't give a crap who has more userpoints than I do. Really.